New poem

[Tie-Dyed Soul]

I like doing a wide variety of things, from music, to writing, to drawing/painting/etc. I have decided to start sharing it with others and get some feedback to help me improve.

So in doing so, I thought I would share something with you guys I wrote today. It is by no means the final draft but I think its not terrible for an early version.

Obviously it is about smoking, and any feedback would be appreciated.

Expanding upward through the air
Wispy and dissipating as she dances higher
As I exhale I can feel the gift she bestows upon me
Leaving her essence for all to enjoy

Each time is as different as it is the same
As if sight and sound are experienced for the first time
Colors so vivid it seems like a dream
Music engulfing me, taking me to a higher plane

As I ride her peak I realize what perfection is
Pulling me inward, finally care and judgment free
Taking away the pain of this physical existence
Gently setting me back down, she beckons me again

I know its not the greatest thing ever, but I'm still perfecting my writing.

Hope someone digs it.

Peace and love y'all.

[HappyKitty]

my only feedback is....

I dig it!

Thanks for sharing

[Akornpatch]

Wow! Nice!

Reading it I became more aware of my breathing. Weird.

Thanks for sharing!
Akorn

[Aabama Phill]

Deep man. Deep

[RC1962]

cool, how sweet she really is.