HomeNewsForumsPhoto GalleryGrow420 GirlsMedical MarijuanaFactsHempSponsorsStoreDonateBanners
Go Back   420 Magazine > 420 LOUNGE > 420 Stories and Creative Expression

420 Stories and Creative Expression Pack one & Let the Creative Juices Flow

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 10-03-2008, 02:44 AM   #1
New Member
 
Tie-Dyed Soul's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Posts: 38
Tie-Dyed Soul is on a distinguished road
New poem

I like doing a wide variety of things, from music, to writing, to drawing/painting/etc. I have decided to start sharing it with others and get some feedback to help me improve.

So in doing so, I thought I would share something with you guys I wrote today. It is by no means the final draft but I think its not terrible for an early version.

Obviously it is about smoking, and any feedback would be appreciated.

Expanding upward through the air
Wispy and dissipating as she dances higher
As I exhale I can feel the gift she bestows upon me
Leaving her essence for all to enjoy

Each time is as different as it is the same
As if sight and sound are experienced for the first time
Colors so vivid it seems like a dream
Music engulfing me, taking me to a higher plane

As I ride her peak I realize what perfection is
Pulling me inward, finally care and judgment free
Taking away the pain of this physical existence
Gently setting me back down, she beckons me again


I know its not the greatest thing ever, but I'm still perfecting my writing.

Hope someone digs it.

Peace and love y'all.
Tie-Dyed Soul is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 02:56 AM   #2
Moderator
 
HappyKitty's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Bay Area, CA
Posts: 3,534
HappyKitty is a name known to allHappyKitty is a name known to allHappyKitty is a name known to allHappyKitty is a name known to allHappyKitty is a name known to allHappyKitty is a name known to all
Re: New poem

my only feedback is....

I dig it!

Thanks for sharing
__________________
420 Magazine
Creating Cannabis Awareness Since 1993

Please Visit our Sponsors!
Please Help Support Our Mission!
Forum Guidelines - Please Read Before Posting
420 Photo Gallery Tutorial - How to Post Photos

Submit your best high resolution photos to photos@420magazine.com for publication in 420 Magazine's print edition.
HappyKitty is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Old 10-03-2008, 01:04 PM   #3
420 Member
 
Akornpatch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Near nature. Near perfect.
Posts: 2,455
Blog Entries: 1
Akornpatch will become famous soon enoughAkornpatch will become famous soon enough
Re: New poem

Wow! Nice!

Reading it I became more aware of my breathing. Weird.

Thanks for sharing!
Akorn
__________________
Dedicated Contributor
420 Magazine Creating Cannabis Awareness Since 1993.
GROW ROOM - HERE
HOW TO GROW MARIJUANA - HERE
GALLERY PIC UPLOAD GUIDE - HERE

Support the cause!
Akornpatch is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Old 10-04-2008, 01:03 PM   #4
420 Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Deep South USA
Posts: 155
Aabama Phill is on a distinguished road
Re: New poem

Deep man. Deep
Aabama Phill is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Old 11-17-2008, 11:43 AM   #5
420 Member
 
RC1962's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: way,... way up north
Posts: 49
RC1962 is on a distinguished road
Re: New poem

cool, how sweet she really is.
RC1962 is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Old 12-16-2008, 10:51 PM   #6
420 Member
 
happiehippie's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: IN MY GROWROOM
Posts: 888
happiehippie is a jewel in the roughhappiehippie is a jewel in the roughhappiehippie is a jewel in the rough
Re: New poem

good job man... do more and fly em in......peice........
this smokes on me...........
happiehippie is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2008, 06:03 AM   #7
420 Member
 
Alaska Lady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,225
Alaska Lady will become famous soon enoughAlaska Lady will become famous soon enough
Re: New poem

Nicely done. If you would like a little help with style and lyrical quality, I googled "how to write poems" and I got some great info. Although lots of great writers dont always follow the guidelines, I found the info to be helpful to me. Perhaps it may help you also. I especially liked an article I found on organizing your thoughts on paper, about the subject your thinking about. It helped me to remember the lines I was thinking up in my head and my pencil couldnt keep up with my brain! lol
__________________
A leader without followers, is just a dude on a walk!
420 Magazine
Creating Cannabis Awareness Since 1993

Buy The Best of 420 Girls Coffee Table Book from Amazon.com
Join 420 Girls Now and Help Support This Website!

Submit your best high resolution photos to photos@420magazine.com for publication in 420 Magazine's print edition.
Alaska Lady is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Old 12-22-2008, 07:27 AM   #8
420 Member
 
Paladin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: The Great Northern Forest
Posts: 445
Paladin has a spectacular aura aboutPaladin has a spectacular aura aboutPaladin has a spectacular aura about
Re: New poem

I think it's good .
__________________
Where there is secrecy, there is no truth; Where there is no truth , there is no justice ; Where there is no justice, there is no freedom. Necessity is the plea for every infringement of human liberty ; It is the arguement of tyrants : It is the creed of slaves.
Paladin is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Old 01-08-2009, 02:34 AM   #9
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: mexico
Posts: 24
love420jen is on a distinguished road
Re: New poem

id love to hear more...
__________________
LOVIN THE SMOKERS LIFE, this is the way to start the day... bigtoke:
love420jen is offline  
Digg this Post!Add Post to del.icio.usBookmark Post in TechnoratiFurl this Post!FacebookMySpaceTwitter
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:37 PM.


All content Copyright © and ® 1993-2009 420 Magazine All Rights Reserved
420 WEBMASTER AFFILIATE PROGRAM



420 Girls | Best Grow Lights| Ganja Girls | Enviro-tech Lighting |Attitude Seedbank | BUY CANNABIS SEEDS | Naked Girls Smoking Weed
Ganja Girls | Bambu Rolling Papers | Bubble Hash Bags & Pollen Presses | LED Grow Lights | Female Seeds | Advanced Nutrients

Marijuana Seeds | Humate Supreme | BUY VAPORIZER NOW | Grow Light & Grow Bulbs | Cannabis Seeds | Marijuana Hemp Cannabis
Haight Solid State Lights | How to Pass a Drug Test | Wallpaper For Windows | Bud Babes | Weed Growing Tips | Hot Box Vapors | HBI International | 420 Girls Gone Wild

Sensi Seeds | How to Pass a Drug Test | 420 Store Books Art Clothing | 420 Girl | Omega Garden | Cannabis Hemp Marijuana
Jack Herer | PASS A DRUG TEST WITH SYNTHETIC URINE | Vape Now Vaporizers | Marijuana Seeds | RVF Garden Supply | BC Northern Lights| Drug Testing Solutions

Medical Marijuana Recommendations | Drug Test Solutions | I Passed My Drug Test | Pass Your Drug Test | Pass The Test
SunCoast Hydroponics | 100 Cannabis Seeds | Hydro Grow LED | Detox Clean Free | Worldwide Marijuana Seeds