Medical Cannabis Doctors in Edmonton

enigmatic

New Member
Hello good peoples of 420magazine, I came across this forum on my quest to getting my life back- I hope you guys/gals have some spare time to help me out.

Long story short my life has been a mess for the last 10 years, after I watched my Father pass away infront of me while on vacation when i was 14, I started to blame myself for his death (he was an abusive father and one day while we were on vacation he said/did something and I felt like this was my chance to stand up for myself because he was sick and couldnt get out of bed, he was an old man)- 5 days after my birthday from the day I told him off ,he died and I couldn't say sorry...out of all people me saying sorry, but i felt like i had too ) as well as seclude myself from society. Now 5 years later I have riddled my mind with a sickness that will stay with me until the day of enlightenment or the day I die.
I suffer from pretty bad Anxiety ( sometimes It gets so bad that I stay in my room for weeks, I also suffer from insomnia- it gets to the point where I don't/can't fall asleep until 5 am. I have no idea how my family has put up with me for this long OR how they have let me get this bad...I feel like I can't blend with society or that they won't accept me, I'm tired of feeling helpless ( I NEVER take suicide into consideration so don't think I do-i'm not stupid.) I also grew up in an abusive family with my father constantly belittling me, calling me a bitch and a dog at the tender age of 9 was a real treat growing up, I feel like I wasn't allowed to grow normally, and my mother was just as bad in the sense that she ignored my cries for help so she could be with her other man, I felt abandoned and alone at such a young age, I started to question my own existence, I mean I just couldn't see how a father would treat his son like that, I thought he hated me, every time he would call my name I would get this feeling in my stomach like the world just dropped on me or something.

ANYWAYS ( thank you if you read all of that ) I am not trying to make it seem like I'm craving attention cause that's not what this is, I just need to have an understanding of things and to do that you guys need to understand me aswell. I will finally be going to a Psychiatrist on Thursday to tell her what's been on my mind for the past 10 years as well as ask her/him if MEDICAL marijuana would be viable for me- my Primary doctor prescribed me anti-depressants but i stopped taking them after a month because i hated how they made me feel ''different'' and because once you start taking those things if you stop you go psycho or something.

I am very hesitant to tell the psychiatrist about my problems because I fear that they will think i'm absolutely psycho but that's not how I feel inside- I am a loving caring person who was just assaulted by society and a poor upbringing, FFS I even have second thoughts about stepping on spiders or bugs inside my house, I usually let them back outside...is that Psychotic ?

If my Psychiatrist confirms I have a mental illness would I have to run it by my primary doctor who is female and is probably against MMJ ( I'm scared to ask my primary for the fear of her rejecting me as her patient )

And if all else fails - would their be any MMJ approving doctors in Edmonton that you guys mind sharing?

I'm at my wits end...If I can't fix my life then I'll probably give up( become a hermit ), I just don't see the joy in life anymore, the family I grew up in didn't give me the chance to flourish into the person I should have become.

thank you for taking the time to read all of this~ Have a great day!


LONG LONG STORY SHORT:::: I am tired of letting my past get to me, it's constantly on my mind day to day- no matter what advice some hotshot counselor will tell me, their words won't heal these scars, sadly I'll need drugs to help me forget OR improve my quality of life, even if it's only 10 minutes of peace.

If you guys need any information on my part send me a pm or post in the comments and if you don't seem shady i'll be more than happy to let you in.

edit: after reading over everything, I really put myself out there....I'm not sure that was such a great idea :(

I DO NOT use Cannabis to escape my problems, I use it to cope with them.
 
Hey my friend I feel your anguish! My missus had a hard time, she started having panic attacks, fits and depression mixed with a contant anxiety. (Her past also was not good)She was also prescribed anti depressants. These killed her self being and character, making her very placid and not herself at all. She basically became house bound for over 5 years. We lived at the time in a small studio flat in a basemant with tiny windows etc. Very depressing.
Anyway after giving up on doctors I sorted her out with plenty of care, patience and a lot of help from MJ. In short she is now working part time and getting her life back on track finally. So please my friend just have faith that there really is light at the end of the tunnel.
See now we both have put stuff out there! You should find plenty of support on here!
 
thank you for the kind words and motivation- believe me when I say I will never give up the fight ~ i'm only looking to make things a bit easier on my mind/body/soul.

:Namaste:
 
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