okay, this may be weird but...

[jubster]

...I am a 36 yr old female, married for 15 yrs this year. My dear hubby decided that life sucks (he was a business owner) so started smoking up summer of 2005. He told me it was because of the situation so we closed business, moved into a nice house with our 8 yr old son and started a new life. Guess what? Pot is still prevalent in my house. He told me it would be a 'rarity'. He has admitted that if he hasn't had it by the fourth day he's thinking about it every 2 hours. I love my husband. This is new to us. We didn't do it in highschool or anything. It's his "time" I guess. Anyways, it's changed the dynamics of our marriage cuase I am trying to understand it and I love him so much. I have tried to research it and by no means am I a "goody goody" girl. I smoke it on the weekends but I don't need it everyday. He needs it every day. Not a whole joint but at least a couple of puffs. Should I worry? HE's 35. He says it's a phase. How many 35 yr olds start smoking pot now? Anyhow, I know you can't die from it, I do like how it's gone after a couple of hours unlike alcohol. But because it's new in our lives, I feel I am a failure and that's why he has to smoke it. I know he loves me and he smokes probably a lot less than most people. What do you all say? I don't know enough about it to analyze it to death. I am so insecure in the first time of our 15 yr marriage because this is unchartered territory for me and for him. Any thoughts or help out there? I am not sure what I'm asking or looking for, just some thoughts I guess. It's all new to me. Thanks for anyone out there who can help put things in perspective for me.

[stonedclown]

he probaly smokes just to chill out and relax like alot of pepole do

[kmthking420x]

Well I doubt it cause he thinks your a failure, i mean its just extremly fun and much better than drinking alcohol like you mentioned.no hangovers or anything i would suggest you 2 join in it together and maybe try to do it onloy on weekends.peace

[jubster]

yeah, I'd like to be open minded and do it on weekends but the reality is he can't go the week without having it. He says he'd like to get there - he enjoys doing it with me on the weekends and would like to do that only but I think he's addicted - he says what he wants to do but doesn't do what he says. Should I worry that he's a big addict? I don't think it's too bad but I don't know enough to judge.

[lucasi]

I wouldnt worry too much about your husband not being able to say no to a couple puffs a day off a Joint.Everyone who smokes finds it at a differnt age and if it isnt causing legal,financial or marital trouble then just let it be and ride with it.Weed has so much to offer with very little side effect if any.I would much rather see someone smokin a joint then taking a drink and alchohol is legal.Hope it helps,take a puff and just relax

[Bigg420]

Would you feel like it was a problem if your husband came home and drank a beer or two? Whats the diffrence?

[jubster]

no that's true, I'm just trying to deal with something that's different in my life. Thanks for your input. I'll keep on reading and posting. You're all a big help. I am open minded so thank you.

[Stoobie]

hes probably just stressed out and needs a way to unwind. It may seem like he is addicted to it, but if he really wanted to he could stop and only smoke on the weekends, so dont worry about a big addiction problem. If I know i have weed on me, its hard to wait until the weekend to smoke it. I am pretty sure you are not the reason he is smoking lol, you have been married for 15 years and all of a sudden he starts smoking because of you? I dont think so. Weed is just a nice way to chill after a hard day at work or school. hope this helps a little

[jubster]

yeah, I've tried it and can't say I haven't liked it. I just worry sometimes that if I start to do it as much as him I look like the hypocrite since I harp on him when I think he's doing it too much. But, the more I learn the more I see it's not the end of the world OR the worse thing to happen. I know he likes it when I smoke with him and I do like it just not all the time. It's hard because I don't smoke and it kinda burns my throat. Anyhow, thanks for your input, my mind is a bit more at ease.

[Marianne]

I've been married for 3 years, and have had things like this happen to me. Please don't take what he's doing personally. It'll probably stress him out more. I've had a stressful year with my mom dying and other horrible things to top it off, and went from being a weekend toker to an everyday smoker. It has nothing to do with my husband other than it took me a long time to get him to understand that. I love him and he's been very supportive and I know without him it would have been much harder to get through this difficult time. But smoking is a personal thing for me. I just like it-it brightens my day a little bit more on top of how much he already brightens it, and it sounds like your husband feels the same way about you. Relax and enjoy your new home, your beautiful son and your husband who obviously loves you very much, and please let him know you don't mind if he smokes. Let him do it without guilt, without shame, because it's nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck with everything.

[jubster]

You're right, it's probably not me but if I keep letting my insecurities get the better of me it will be me. Life changes that have happened to us is that he owned a store and started smoking when it got to be too much. After a couple of years the stress was taking it's toll, the people who hung out smoked, and because the store was where we lived, there was no getting away from it - I did cause I had an outside job. But we closed it and moved and I thought things would die down which they did (he's not smoking to get high everyday) but the location was just an excuse - i guess I need to lighten up and just let go and enjoy it too - we got into a fight last night and I don't know if we're okay. I hope so. He's annoyed at the way I acted which he thinks is always mad at him for smoking cause I usually am but haven't been lately so he's paranoid. He says I love you but he's clearly pissed off - never had major fights in our entire marriage and not sure if this is good or bad. Want some stuff for tonight but not sure how to ask him to get it since "I'm usually against it"

[Marianne]

I'm sorry you guys had a fight. If it was me I would tell him I've been doing some serious thinking and I realized this wasn't worth fighting over and I'm going to try really hard to lighten up. That's where I would bring in wanting to smoke with him. It may shock him, but it should be a good shock. Good luck!

[snugglefunked]

my friend's grandfather... 83... started smoking weed just a few months ago... for the first time ever... it's never too late...

[SmokinDame13]

OK here goes....I'm 27 and I have smoked Marijuana for, just over a decade....I have 2 wonderfully hyper girls....AFTER all the---ma whats this and mom whats that?,whats this ma?, why ma?,fighting-yelling-tatteling...sooo MUCH it makes my head spin....AND then ON top of that I have.....my man,my sister,Mad Maxx,Falcor AND work......I have never smoked pot because I have felt that someone I love has failed me!!!! I just smoke to ease the stress' of the day....AND BELIEVE ME there are MANY.......and if you wondering how much I smoke a day......Well, my man got me this new bong for V-day....and I smoke 2 a day...............
I don't think it matters how old you are....just as long as you smoke it with good times in mind.....JUST CHILL'

[harrydirty]

15 years 1 fight...not too many can say that. you guys r obviously good together. smoking together can be nice; especially after a long day, in bed..yaknow.