Smokin Moose
Fallen Cannabis Warrior & Ex Moderator
From "The Tale of King Omar bin al-Nu'uman
and his Sons Sarrkan and Zau al-Makan",
*The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night*
Nights 142-143, Translated by Richard F. Burton.
and his Sons Sarrkan and Zau al-Makan",
*The Book of the Thousand Nights and a Night*
Nights 142-143, Translated by Richard F. Burton.
THE TALE OF THE HASHISH EATER
A certain man loved fair women, and spent his substance on
them, till he became so poor that nothing remained to him; the
world was straitened upon him and he used to go about the
market-streets begging his daily bread. Once upon a time as he
went along, behold, a bit of iron nail pierced his finger and drew
blood; so he sat down and, wiping away the blood, bound up
his finger. Then he arose crying out, and fared forwards till he
came to a Hammam and entering took off his clothes, and when
he looked about him he found it clean and empty. So he sat him
down by the fountain-basin, and ceased not pouring water on
his head, till he was tired. ...Then he went out to the room in
which was the cistern of cold water; and seeing no one there, he
found a quiet corner and taking out a piece of Hashish,
swallowed it. Presently the fumes mounted to his brain and he
rolled over on to the marble floor. Then the Hashish made him
fancy that a great lord was shampooing him and that two slaves
stood at his head, one bearing a bowl and the other washing gear
and all the requisites of the Hammam. When he saw this, he
said to himself, "Meseemeth these here be mistaken in me; or
else they are of the company of us Hashish-eaters." Then he
stretched out his legs and he imagined that the bathman said to
him, "O my master, the time of thy going up to the Palace
draweth near and it is to-day thy turn of service." At this he
laughed and said to himself, "As Allah willeth, O Hashish!"
them, till he became so poor that nothing remained to him; the
world was straitened upon him and he used to go about the
market-streets begging his daily bread. Once upon a time as he
went along, behold, a bit of iron nail pierced his finger and drew
blood; so he sat down and, wiping away the blood, bound up
his finger. Then he arose crying out, and fared forwards till he
came to a Hammam and entering took off his clothes, and when
he looked about him he found it clean and empty. So he sat him
down by the fountain-basin, and ceased not pouring water on
his head, till he was tired. ...Then he went out to the room in
which was the cistern of cold water; and seeing no one there, he
found a quiet corner and taking out a piece of Hashish,
swallowed it. Presently the fumes mounted to his brain and he
rolled over on to the marble floor. Then the Hashish made him
fancy that a great lord was shampooing him and that two slaves
stood at his head, one bearing a bowl and the other washing gear
and all the requisites of the Hammam. When he saw this, he
said to himself, "Meseemeth these here be mistaken in me; or
else they are of the company of us Hashish-eaters." Then he
stretched out his legs and he imagined that the bathman said to
him, "O my master, the time of thy going up to the Palace
draweth near and it is to-day thy turn of service." At this he
laughed and said to himself, "As Allah willeth, O Hashish!"
Then he sat and said nothing, whilst the bathman arose and took
him by the hand and girt his middle with a waist-cloth of black
silk, after which the two slaves followed him with the bowls and
gear; and they ceased not escorting him till they brought him into
a cabinet, wherein they set incense and perfumes a-burning. He
found the place full of various kinds of fruits and sweet-scented
flowers, and they sliced him a water-melon and seated him on a
stool of ebony, whilst the bathman stood to wash him and the
slaves poured water on him; after which they rubbed him down
well and said, "O our lord, Sir Wazir, health to thee forever!"
Then they went out and shut the door on him; and in the vanity
of phantasy he arose and removed the waist-cloth from his
middle, and laughed till he well nigh fainted. He gave not over
laughing for some time and at last quoth he to himself, "What
aileth them to address me as if I were a Minister and style me
Master, and Sir? Haply they are now blundering; but after an
hour they will know me and say, This fellow is a beggar; and
will take their fill of cuffing me on the neck." Presently, feeling
hot, he opened the door, whereupon it seemed to him that a little
white slave and an eunuch came in to him carrying a parcel.
Then the slave opened it and brought out three kerchiefs of silk,
one of which he threw over his head, a second over his
shoulders, and a third he tied round his waist. Moreover, the
eunuch gave him a pair of bath-clogs, and he put them on; after
which in came white slaves and eunuchs and supported him (and
he laughing the while) to the outer hall, which he found hung
and spread with magnificent furniture, such as beseemeth none
but kings; and the pages hastened up to him and seated him on
the divan. Then they fell to kneading him till sleep overcame
him; and he dreamt that he had a girl in his arms. So he kissed
her and set her between his thighs; then, sitting to her as a man
sitteth to a woman, he took yard in hand and drew her towards
him and weighed down upon her and lo! he heard one saying to
him, "Awake, thou ne'er-do-well! The noon-hour is come and
thou art still asleep." He opened his eyes and found himself
lying on the marge of the cold-water tank, amongst a crowd of
people all laughing at him; for his prickle was at point and the
napkin had slipped from his middle. So he knew that all this
was but a confusion of dreams and an illusion of the Hashish
and he was vexed and said to him who had aroused him,
"Would thou hadst waited till I had put it in!" Then said the
folk, "Art thou not ashamed, O Hashish-eater, to be sleeping
stark naked with stiff-standing tool?" And they cuffed him till
his neck was red. Now he was starving, yet forsooth he
savoured the flavour of pleasure in his dream.
him by the hand and girt his middle with a waist-cloth of black
silk, after which the two slaves followed him with the bowls and
gear; and they ceased not escorting him till they brought him into
a cabinet, wherein they set incense and perfumes a-burning. He
found the place full of various kinds of fruits and sweet-scented
flowers, and they sliced him a water-melon and seated him on a
stool of ebony, whilst the bathman stood to wash him and the
slaves poured water on him; after which they rubbed him down
well and said, "O our lord, Sir Wazir, health to thee forever!"
Then they went out and shut the door on him; and in the vanity
of phantasy he arose and removed the waist-cloth from his
middle, and laughed till he well nigh fainted. He gave not over
laughing for some time and at last quoth he to himself, "What
aileth them to address me as if I were a Minister and style me
Master, and Sir? Haply they are now blundering; but after an
hour they will know me and say, This fellow is a beggar; and
will take their fill of cuffing me on the neck." Presently, feeling
hot, he opened the door, whereupon it seemed to him that a little
white slave and an eunuch came in to him carrying a parcel.
Then the slave opened it and brought out three kerchiefs of silk,
one of which he threw over his head, a second over his
shoulders, and a third he tied round his waist. Moreover, the
eunuch gave him a pair of bath-clogs, and he put them on; after
which in came white slaves and eunuchs and supported him (and
he laughing the while) to the outer hall, which he found hung
and spread with magnificent furniture, such as beseemeth none
but kings; and the pages hastened up to him and seated him on
the divan. Then they fell to kneading him till sleep overcame
him; and he dreamt that he had a girl in his arms. So he kissed
her and set her between his thighs; then, sitting to her as a man
sitteth to a woman, he took yard in hand and drew her towards
him and weighed down upon her and lo! he heard one saying to
him, "Awake, thou ne'er-do-well! The noon-hour is come and
thou art still asleep." He opened his eyes and found himself
lying on the marge of the cold-water tank, amongst a crowd of
people all laughing at him; for his prickle was at point and the
napkin had slipped from his middle. So he knew that all this
was but a confusion of dreams and an illusion of the Hashish
and he was vexed and said to him who had aroused him,
"Would thou hadst waited till I had put it in!" Then said the
folk, "Art thou not ashamed, O Hashish-eater, to be sleeping
stark naked with stiff-standing tool?" And they cuffed him till
his neck was red. Now he was starving, yet forsooth he
savoured the flavour of pleasure in his dream.
Sounds like he had a pretty good time. 
