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ADHD by Anonymous: A 20 Year Old's Story

Julie Gardener

New Member
ADHD by Anonymous

I am currently 20 years old, I am female, and I have had ADHD forever. I was a VERY active kid, and once I started kindergarten I could not sit still or stop talking and was always bored. My father is a psychologist and realized I had all the symptoms of an ADHD child. They had my pediatrician prescribe me a sample trial of Ritalin. It only took one dose for my parents to realize Ritalin is not a healthy drug. I turned from a happy, bubbly, and loving child into an aggressive angry one. Needless to say I was not given any more Ritalin.

School was a constant struggle for me, although I was often one of the brighter students. My desk was always moved right next to the teacher's desk, I suppose to prevent me from talking to the other kids. I think I talked a lot because I got bored quickly. Fortunately I loved reading despite my ADHD, but only if the book interested me.

All of middle school and half of high school were horrible, and I was always in trouble for talking. The school had a system for rating behavior. The good kids got to take a fun field trip and the bad ones had to stay at school and do work. To me it seems this only reaffirms in a child mind that she is just a bad person, when maybe it's just a bad method of education for hyperactive kids. I mellowed out a little bit in high school, but it was still VERY hard for me to sit still or be quiet.

I ended up skipping a lot of school. I would slack off and then do all the makeup work the last week of class. Another reason I missed so much school was that I couldn't fall asleep at night. Looking back through my journal, I see that when I was 12 years old I wouldn't be asleep until 2 or 3 am. That seems extremely late for a 12 year old.

Well I barely graduated from high school, and it was an all-round bad experience for me. A few months after high school I had some friends who smoked pot and I eventually tried it. At first because of religion I felt guilty, but I really liked the sense of peace I felt. I eventually became a full time user and my whole life changed. I had felt bad in social situations, because I had always been told I talk too much. Smoking marijuana helped me to realize that silence is golden, and I became more in tune with how others were feeling. I quickly got the point when I would realize when somebody became bored with a conversation.

My insomnia disappeared after the first few months of daily use. I noticed it was more effective when I smoked throughout the entire day, not just at night. For the first time ever, I held steady jobs; I didn't sleep in and miss work any more. In fact I spent a summer doing sales working 12 hour days and was stoned the whole time.

Besides the beneficial mental impacts, it has helped with physical issues as well. I have scoliosis with a 27 degree curvature, which has resulted in muscle tightness and pressure and pain throughout my back. I also have severe knee pain from being an avid skier. When I smoke marijuana, the pain seems more like a slight sensation of heat or warmth, which is much more tolerable.

I was recently arrested for marijuana and cannot smoke due to probation. My insomnia has returned. Even when I am tired, the pain is so bad I still can't sleep. I usually just stay up till I am so exhausted that I fall asleep regardless of pain. Because of this, it's sometimes 5:00 am when I fall asleep. My job performance has gone down because I am sleep-deprived. When I am talking or reading, my foot is always tapping at a mile a minute. I have noticed that even though I can't smoke, some of the benefits have been residual. When I was smoking I realized what being relaxed felt like, and I liked it. I don't want to be excessively hyper the next year and a half, so I am trying really hard to remain relaxed the way I like to be.

All in all I think MJ has helped my life immensely. I even discuss with my Dad the psychologist how MJ has affected my mind, and even though he is conservative he agrees that it sounds like MJ could be a cure for ADHD. He has heard this from clients of his as well as me. I have also asked many diagnosed ADHD friends of mine how MJ has affected them, and it all seems to sound like my story. I have yet to try school while smoking marijuana, but it can't get much worse than it was before. At least I will be able to sit still when I do go to college.

Source: Comments and Observations
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