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Bipolar Disorder by Merv Barrett

Julie Gardener

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Bipolar Disorder by Merv Barrett​

I am a 30-year-old white male college student from Chattanooga Tn. Beginning in October of 1999, I was within one year of graduating from college with a degree in secondary education. When the semester started in September, I was eager to go and get one step closer to my goal. However, by the time October rolled around I was in a state of pure depression. I eventually abandoned my studies because it was just too much to handle. I struggled against my self for several weeks but to no avail. I began seeing a shrink at the school and taking Celexa prescribed by my General Practitioner. I continued, and still continue, to see my shrink even though I am no longer an active student. I tried 2 or 3 other anti-depressants before Christmas and nothing really worked. My shrink made a diagnosis of a form of Bipolar disorder, Hypomanic is the term he used, and it seemed to encompass my feelings and the symptoms that I was having.

Sometime in early January 2000 I began to have an almost uncontrollable urge to get high. I had quit smoking pot almost 8 years before but I think I was subconsciously recalling the calming effects and began to crave it. Most of my friends smoke and acquiring some was no problem. I began smoking and it brought me to a level of peace and tranquility I had not known for several months. It is now June 2000 as I write this and I still smoke pot frequently. If I don't, I get frustratingly agitated and unbearable. I'm a rage of pure anger. I am taking lithium and haven't noticed a real difference yet. Although, I have only been on it for a month. I have faith in the medical science. Marihuana sure makes a big difference in my life and I would like to live without it. But circumstances prevent that. I don't plan to be on weed for a long time but until I can find a better treatment through conventional medicine, I will continue with what works. My doctors don't want me smoking pot while on Lithium but I just can't stand the long bouts of suicidal angst and despair (these can last for days at a time). You feel like your living at the rock bottom of life's gutter. Everything sucks: friends, family, work, favorite TV shows, etc. It's so awful being that way and you have no idea how long it's going to last. Marihuana fixes that problem and makes life enjoyable and livable.

I hope someone who reads this and is suffering from a bipolar illness will consider the benefits of marihuana smoking; yes, there are benefits. Never mind the stigma that lawmakers and other societal propagandists want you to think about the destructive nature of pot use. It is not necessarily true. It has helped me and many like me. I honestly believe it has saved my life on many occasions from suicide. Please seek help and don't be afraid to see if marihuana might be good for you too. Just because it is illegal doesn't make it any less effective.

For more information, please the our original article, The Use of Cannabis as a Mood Stabilizer in Bipolar Disorder.



Source: Comments and Observations
 
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