Early onset dementia and PTSD

[Newfun]

It's like the whole area is adjusting.
I used to have a serious tight neck. Did cortisone etc.for arthritis. Nothing ever helped my neck like this though. I have mobility I haven't had for years.
Now my sinuses feel like they work better. The tight muscles (like eyestrain feeling) around my eyes is better. My ears don't feel stuffed up.

 

[Newfun]

It may seem tough to understand. As wonderful and nice as this is, it scares the crap out of me. It is like hitting the reset button on your muscles but your brain is so used to the old way.
I am on uncharteted water here. I swear my brain is like lashing out saying don't change. It's not safe or something. It's scary.

 

[Newfun]

Chopped down my pathetic last indoor lady.
Back at the beginning of this year when I started growing I knew so little. I made the worst mistake of the wrong soil to start. This poor lady was in the wrong soil and when I uprooted the plant her roots showed the difficulty she had in the soil. I am glad I chopped her down. I need to work out where and when I can start a new grow. The downstairs reconstruction is stagnant.
It is difficult dealing with my husband that can normally do most home repairs etc himself and now is having trouble with the logic of moving a non-weightbaring wall. We can't even discuss it because he flips because I try to help him grasp the simple steps to do it. By the time we get done my mind is so boggled from the illogical manner his mind is working that I can't function. It's not funny. It's sad. It's hard to do this. I am losing him right before my eyes. I try not to get angry because there is no one to be angry at. Sometimes I want to take a fit and scream and yell that this s*cks. Well I digress. This just makes it tough to redo the downstairs on a shoestring budget. I want to do a CBD grow along with THC because the CBD helps his OCD. That being said it helps me help him too.
If anyone has good tips for me to use my puny blurle light to grow maybe 4 or so plants indoors over the winter, please share. I got not bucks to spend on stuff so it's low low low budget. Lol
Thanks so much. You all have helped keep me going.

 

[Carcass]

You could locate a refrigerator box, apx 3x3x6',and rig it up with
stuff from the dollar store- I grow 2 in a 2x2- 4 sq.ft....a 3x3 would give you 9 sq.ft,which would be tight,but room enough for 4 plants @ 2.25 sq.ft. per plant...just a suggestion-you may not want to grow in a cardboard box- nothing fancy, but it does work...

My mom's dementia took her logic process a few years ago-the "cause and effect" thing is impossible for her to relate to...and it's hard to not get angry with her,but I've just got to remind myself that she's doing the best she can do...but the best she can do makes absolutely no sense to me...
I don't really know what to say,other than I'm very sorry you (or anyone) has to go through something like this- seeing someone disappear a little more every day is a terrible thing to have to face.

 

[Newfun]

Thank you carcass. You are giving me a great idea. I think we can put together something with what we have around the house.
Our light is a 1200 W small rectangular light. I forget it projection range.
As long as we LST or something I think the light will do much better than I did
this time around.
I am so sorry you are going through this with your Mom. This disease is so difficult to deal with. Blessing to you, your Mom and family.
I worked with geriatric patients for a few years. I love caring for those that have been afflicted with these horrible degenerative diseases. I don't get angry at him for his state if mind, I get angry with myself for allowing it to affect me negatively. I know to embrace each moment. I know that avoiding stressful conversations is best. Sometimes just natural conversation progression allows me to forget for a moment. Unfortunately the PTSD clicks in when he gets agitated. He does not get physical (that was a problem a year ago though) but he does get verbally nasty.
I just wanted to disconnect a few wires, move the wall and drop the wires down into the moved wall. Then I could just build a grow room.
Well at least with a small portable grow area I can at least get some new babies.
Thank you. I appreciate that I can vent some and get great answers to weed questions.

 

[Carcass]

If you need any more hints on how to save a few bucks,let me know-I'm all about cheap inexpensive and easy.
There's really nothing about it that you can't do by yourself-cardboard and packing tape
are just about as easy as it gets when it comes to building materials.

I am so sorry you are going through this with your Mom.

I'm pretty used to it, she's 96,and has been declining since she was about 80...it does get easier to handle over time-it's not going to go away, so dealing with it without getting upset is just what you have to do to maintain your own sanity.
As you probably know,sometimes this is easier said than done...

 

[John Wick]

It's like the whole area is adjusting.
I used to have a serious tight neck. Did cortisone etc.for arthritis. Nothing ever helped my neck like this though. I have mobility I haven't had for years.
Now my sinuses feel like they work better. The tight muscles (like eyestrain feeling) around my eyes is better. My ears don't feel stuffed up.

That's great, it's doing it's magic on you.

 

[Newfun]

Happy Friday. Glad the rain will be winding down. Our outdoor ladies have had a big agitating bath. The winds have been pretty hefty but not major. I'll take some window pictures tomorrow.
Our last trimmed buds are getting jarred tonight. Now we have a little break until we harvest some more.

 

[Newfun]

If I was a downer, my apologies. Some times are more difficult than others. My thanks for putting up with me. The fact that I can reach out for growing help and vent a bit helps me pull myself out of a bad space. The 420 community has been so kind.

 

[Newfun]

I am down to my last few jars. What are some of the best alternative long term storage ideas?

 

[Carcass]

What are some of the best alternative long term storage ideas?

Hi,Newfun
Turkey bags (oven bags) work well for curing and long term storage,and you can decarb in them too...
They will also fit in places jars won't,and they don't break if you drop 'em-
Do a search on here for "turkey bags" and you can read some more about it...

 

[Newfun]

Thanks Carcass. I did buy some. I will use them for long term. That reduces weight too.
Have a great weekend

 

[John Wick]

If I was a downer, my apologies. Some times are more difficult than others. My thanks for putting up with me. The fact that I can reach out for growing help and vent a bit helps me pull myself out of a bad space. The 420 community has been so kind.

Hang in there Ms. N, I haven't been though what you're going through, so for once I was speachless, so I couldn't comment on your post.
Much love to you.

 

[Alafornia]

Hey, @Newfun . It seems you are both feeling better physically and struggling with some things at the same time. I am happy for the good and hope the bad gets better and/or you are better able to cope.

Why are you scared? I could posit that any change is scary. Freedom is scary. Letting go of guilt is scary. Realizing that things will never be the same is scary. You are going through scary things in a scary time. It's normal and it's OK. The most scary of all is the uncertainty. Will the good last? How quickly will some things get worse? Allow yourself to appreciate the good in the moment. Remind yourself in the bad moments that they are transient and that whatever you are feeling - good or bad - is nothing you need to feel guilt about. Allow you to be you. Your feelings are your feelings and you aren't supposed to feel a certain way. Everyone's journey through this crapfest of dementia is different. We love you and are praying for you.

 

[Newfun]

Thank Alafornia. Your words are so true and comforting.
It is scary to let go off all this tension that I built up to protect me. It doesn't actually protect anything it just feels like it does.
The way this disease has run and ruined my family for years. Sometimes I just want to scream, but I would probably scream so loud I'd bust the windows. Lol
Our renter, is now no longer living here because Mr. N forgot something a had been taken care of 2 weeks before. He all of a sudden got flipped out like it just happened. When he started to yell at the guy I told him it was settled 2 weeks before. Then he turned his words on me. Needless to say PTSD symptoms clicked right in. Now our renter is gone.
Mr. N is at a soccer tournament. I am home with cat. I think the weekend alone may be just what I need.
I pray you all have a great weekend.

 

[Newfun]

Thank you, John. We all have our burdens. I know each of us are given what we are supposed to be able to handle. Sometimes I feel like I was dealt a hand but somehow my cards don't match the game being played. Hoping that someone has an answer that I am missing. Lol
I should stick to board games and ditch the cards. Lol
You have a great weekend, John. Let me know if you get snow.
,

 

[Alafornia]

Thank Alafornia. Your words are so true and comforting.
It is scary to let go off all this tension that I built up to protect me. It doesn't actually protect anything it just feels like it does.
The way this disease has run and ruined my family for years. Sometimes I just want to scream, but I would probably scream so loud I'd bust the windows. Lol
Our renter, is now no longer living here because Mr. N forgot something a had been taken care of 2 weeks before. He all of a sudden got flipped out like it just happened. When he started to yell at the guy I told him it was settled 2 weeks before. Then he turned his words on me. Needless to say PTSD symptoms clicked right in. Now our renter is gone.
Mr. N is at a soccer tournament. I am home with cat. I think the weekend alone may be just what I need.
I pray you all have a great weekend.

Unfortunate that the renter is gone. Since you're alone today feel free to scream!

Thank you, John. We all have our burdens. I know each of us are given what we are supposed to be able to handle. Sometimes I feel like I was dealt a hand but somehow my cards don't match the game being played. Hoping that someone has an answer that I am missing. Lol
I should stick to board games and ditch the cards. Lol
You have a great weekend, John. Let me know if you get snow.
,

Sometimes we get more than we can handle. We either become better jugglers or drop something.

 

[Newfun]

Thanks I think I will get those screams out. Lol
The Footprints in the Sand poem comes to mind. I think I have been on a long one set of footprints. Good thing I lost some weight. Easier for God to carry me. Lol. I was always a small person. God wouldn't like those extra few pounds the meds put on me. Lol
Our renter was/is having (maybe schizophrenia) problems. He was definitely misdiagnosed. So he just took some of his things. I need to clear out his room now. They said anxiety but there was/is much more going on. I was going to bring him for help the day after the argument but he left before we got up.
I was really trying to do the right thing to help the kid but it's not my plan that matters. At least we now where he is, not a great plan but he's safe.
I tell ya, only in my life does stuff like this happen.

 

[Newfun]

Now look at the flexibility of the ladies. The N'oreaster really had them dancing. Lol

 

[Newfun]

Oops forgot to post the picture lol