Grow To Heal Me - Perpetual Journal - Lady Growing Ladies - Never Giving Up

I am so happy that you can know you are NOT alone, and you can retrain your brain to work well again. Your husband is a gem for staying by your side and making light of your confusion or off topic responses. MY WIFE WAS A CRITICAL PART OF MY RECOVERY! ........

This resonates so much with me. I've been with my wife for 15 years. Without her I wouldn't be tip tap typing away ;) Sounds like we're a lucky bunch if there ever was one :thumb:
 
This resonates so much with me. I've been with my wife for 15 years. Without her I wouldn't be tip tap typing away ;) Sounds like we're a lucky bunch if there ever was one :thumb:

Even though I'm going through a traumatic time in my brain, I am so lucky to be loved unconditionally. We are fortunate indeed my friends. This forum has changed my outlook for the better more in the last couple months, than all the dr's I've seen since last Sept. Again, feeling like my luck has brought me some genuine friends & laughs here too. It's all good in the growing neighbourhood!
:high-five:
 
Okay folks and fanatics, very happy to report that CLONEPATRA - Afghan Kush has freed the slaves and decided to plant some roots instead. She was cut and replanted in my mini germ-kit on May 14, now 9 days later, she is gracing me with royal presence. She is safely planted in her own reserved seating for the ONE....lol.

Now if my memory serves me right she could potentially flower in 60 days. I'll have to keep reading everyone's journal as it helps to retain information when it's written in conversation. I can't understand the naked facts yet, it makes my brain swell. After all is said and done, I think I can call this a minor success for my brain. I researched, asked questions, cut from my girls, and presto, I have cloned! hahahaha
Now just to keep her alive and ask the sun to SHINE down on my girls. Been kinda cloudy like the fog of my brain.

After she grew some roots the bottom leaves turned yellow, therefore, I trimmed off the leaf and kept the upper two. I watched Growlow's video and read his stuff, and decided the yellow leaf had to go. So now, it has the required green leaves needed to continue revegging. OR I could be totally off and my brain is tricking me again.

Sometimes I feel like I'm Penny in the cartoon Inspector Gadget because I'm always talking to my "brain" which was the name of her dog.
Calling out to my brain, scolding my brain and sometimes just ignoring it because of its' behaviour...lol Wow that sounds crazier than I thought. Be the change G2HM, BE THE CHANGE, let go of the fake fear...big sigh. :love:

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What's on the forecast for medical and health appointments?

1st brain attack - Sept 5, 2015 - fyi
2nd brain attack - April 25, 2016 - fyi

Family Dr
Neurologist
Psychotherapist
Counsellor
*have seen Neurologists from New York & California to seek clinical advice

June Schedule - subject to change cause the medical peoplez do that.

June 6 - Biannual biopsy for precancer.

June 9 - Family doctor to check vitals.

June 16 - The al-mighty MRI looking for more possible blood clots.

June 23 - Family doctor to check vitals.

June 30 - Language Therapy
 
Awesome update mate! In the future to ensure the plant grows at a healthy rate wait for the roots to be a little more dense before transplanting. She'll do fine the way you've done it. Just may take her a little longer to get goin than if you had waited maybe another couple of days. Gorgeous cut there though mate ;)
 
Awesome update mate! In the future to ensure the plant grows at a healthy rate wait for the roots to be a little more dense before transplanting. She'll do fine the way you've done it. Just may take her a little longer to get goin than if you had waited maybe another couple of days. Gorgeous cut there though mate ;)

Thank you, I will remember that next time...write that one down for sure.:thanks:
 
*This is my outlet and personal test to write out experiences while not speaking 90% of the time. Sorry for the long read...:Namaste:

How did I come about my strategy to use growing for brain retraining? I'm not that smart...lol

My love affair with Purple Kush (PK) started it all and I’m happy to report we are still going strong. It was 2008 and it was a touch n go year for my health. I was ending up in the hospital once a month from the most painful diverticulitis attacks described as phantom child-birth pain, but no cute baby as a reward. Just the embedded finger prints on my husbands arms as I gripped him tighter than before. After trying all the doctors’ advice, I was only getting worse. It was taking its’ toll on everything.

I had been smoking the ganja for 10 years when I wasn’t feeling well, which back then was every day. Then my husband and I finally had the nerve to start taking me off the heavy doses of chemicals that stole my sparkle. We went to compassion club, got an application, faxed it to my dr, sent in my medical records, GOT APPROVED! It was now my way to heal myself on my terms because my health was completely out of control. I felt like too many chemicals were poisoning me, almost. My body was begging for change.

Purple Kush and I first met when I walked into the darkened dispensary of medicinal cannabis for the first time. She winked at me from across the room, the chalkboard, or tv, can’t remember, but I will never forget her curvacious physique that caught my wanting eyes. I pulled the ticket system to get my number, and sat down until my number was called. I stared down that PK lady strain like she was the last Indica strain on this planet. My number got called and I was next.

I placed my order and dared Purple Kush to evade me now. The lovely disperser handed me THE GOODS! I placed her in my pocket above my left breast and patted it, letting the girls know they are in good hands now. I took her home and we had hot and smoky times, it was the affair that woke my eyes up to a lifestyle I could see myself living. I never looked back. In 2011, I went to my family dr at that time and asked her to start weaning me off these super strong meds. She asked why, I said I can heal myself without meds, so we started the detox method. Since then, I have been smoking PK and been praising her graces and mysterious powers over my medical conditions. I can’t imagine my life without her.

Now our affair was not brief, 7 years later and I was ready to make the commitment she always begged me for. It was to grow her! She pleaded with me, “how can you smoke me if you don’t even know who I am.” LOL So I smoked her some more, contemplated while blowing smoke boats in the air. OK I said, let’s take the plunge. But whatever you do, don’t lead me astray.”

Last July of 2015 I took my last cheque and blew it on whatever immediate stuff I needed to grow my own medicine. Within a week, I ordered seeds but could not find the PK I longed for. Hindsight – it was right in from of my face on the CKS site. Duuuh! Regardless I started my outdoor grow that was supposed to be on my balcony. Within a week the wind was blowing my set up apart just to send me in a tailspin trying to rethink my entire set up. I tried to reinforce and build a sturdier setup, but the wind laughed in my face and ripped it apart like previously soiled tissue. Then I went into miss-guyver mode and decided to build an indoor growing setup. After much research on the essentials, I had enough inspiration to build the vision I had.

In the meantime, while I put the outdoor seedlings on the shelf right up to the window; I started constructing my own grow contraption. Luckily I had a wide array of amazing leathers, vinyls, materials to sew with. I chose my best vinyls and draped them on my wired cube, portable, easy to extend up, new 4-seater. bottom for veg & top for flowering and cubed so I can run my wires properly. Wow, was that ever fun! My husband was so curious because he never knows what projects I’m taking on to change my life for the better. When he walked in I blew him away. He said, you built that just by looking at pics? And I said, “it was easier than reading a page in a book at this point.” He looked at me and said, “you’re ready for this?” And I replied, “this is what I need to do.” He smiled and offered complete support and anything we needed to complete my vision.

Remember the seedlings on the windowsill? I failed them because they were the wrong seeds then my life took a turn for the complicated. As soon as I built my new tent, I got online again and searched for PK on the internet. Found out they were being sold at the new dispensary close to us. How did I miss that? My husband WALKed over to the green store and comes back within 30 mins with my first PK package of seeds and the heavens parted above. It was like seeing her naked for the first time. Why did I not find her the first time?! Geez where is my brain going with this…lol

I cleaned everything up and put my mini-grow together and started my first PK Lady grown by a lady too. My mini-tent was thriving with potential. I was sure to use a weight-baring pole in the front. I used a large heavy tile to allow me to dissipate heat from the bottom in hopes not impact the flowering-grow above it. It seemed to be the one piece bringing it all together, and the ladies were off to grow in their home. So what started as just a love affair with Miss PK, ended with a well built mini vertical grow-tent. Then the unspeakable happens, brain attack #1 hits me on Sept 5, 2015. Do I let the thriving tent die, or do I get myself out of bed and move on? What happened to me?

Before the attack I didn’t understand the grow process but I wanted to. Since the first brain attack I feel like I’m wearing spectacles and a lab coat viewing gardening as process to learn from and pay homage to. Now it’s weird, I feel connected and more observant then ever before. Subtle changes in my plants are milestones of success for me. My plants were giving me a purpose to get out of bed, AND I DID!

That was when I thanked my lucky stars that I was alive and had the best medicine for me. There is no cure I’m okay with that, I will work hard and earn my place in the world again. Now every day I learn an incredible amount of information about growing and excitedly give daily reports to my husband. When I get out of bed every day I choose to get better, by the simple act of growing my garden.

When I speak about memories that happened before my attack, my brain hurts. But when I talk about my green ladies and give my husband the stream-of-counsciousness version of my daily update; I am able to talk with confidence, facts and positive updates. When my husband looks at my plants and starts to ask questions, I just light up with information and can’t wait to answer his question. Whereas, everything else we discuss is really a blur. How can my brain pick up so much information about growing and yet I can’t remember what I ate today? This is a great measurement of how growing can give the right person the ability to speak, write, smile and achieve. All things I love to do, even before my beautiful brain broke.

Back to growing, I’m exploring the industry from a different perspective now. Always making sure I say my please and thank you’s to the generous people that care. As much as I hate asking for help, it’s a lot easier to ask when your happiness and recovery depends on it. At least that’s how I currently feel. People have been generous and it gives me hope that the world is not such a foggy place for me now.

So that brings me to why I looked to 420 Magazine forums for information. I was searching for information to improve my garden and in turn, improve my life. I didn’t know it would empower me so quickly, complete surprise. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be supported immediately, of course after I proved myself to be serious. The growing process was there at the right time and I latched onto it as a full time project now, to balance all the poking and prodding I’m going through in the medical system. I feel like a lab rat and I want to feel good about myself. Sometimes when I get triggered by people, I just go sit by my plants and be vulnerable in a safe place. They give me the peace and silence I so crave in my brain.

I’m happy to report that I feel like my original hunch was right. Everything happens for a reason. Would I have been able to predict a life-changing brain injury when I originally bought my supplies, absolutely not. But I sure am counting my lucky stars that I followed my instinct, now and then. I can breathe now that I have a new project to bring peace and happiness as I walk the plank of unknowns. I can’t ask for anything else while I try not to focus of the gravity of the situation I’m in. And now you know about my passionate love affair for PK ladies and how I sought the refuge of my new home, 420 Magazine! I hope to get to know every inch of your organic beauty… stop it BRAIN! I hugs my 420 friends and motivators that are helping me recover. Eternal gratitude my green gardners’ of hope!

How is my brain writing all of this? I assure you this is a new trait or symptom. Long-winded stories make my brain hurt, so stop writing them BRAIN!

Okay that was a marathon, but totally worth it. Yours in peace and reflection, G2HM, :circle-of-love:
 
*This is my outlet and personal test to write out experiences while not speaking 90% of the time. Sorry for the long read...:Namaste:
How did I come about my strategy to use growing for brain retraining? I'm not that smart...lol
Yaddy yaddy yadda, and...
Okay that was a marathon, but totally worth it. Yours in peace and reflection, G2HM, :circle-of-love:

I'm amazed by your passion for growing. I was actually tearing up reading your long winded post. I feel like you need a great big hug... Get your hubby to give you one for me. :hug:
You have my support and you may pick at my brain while it's still functional for the time being. I am going to help as best I can to get you your fresh:circle-of-love: Purple Kush :circle-of-love:

A truly inspiring post G2heal, you're a wonderful person. Keep up the brain training and as always...

KiG :green_heart:Cheers
 
I don't know you. But I just want to hug you. :hug: Support is a hell of a healer. There is a shitload of support on this site. Stick around and you will find out that this journal will be a great therapy tool for you. Can't wait to watch this grow happen for you.

Thank you for your kindness, your words made me smile. The hug, I rec'd through your supportive message. This site is changing my life for the better, glad that you had hugs left to spare. I really think I'm gonna grow as I grow...lol. You are most welcome here...:thanks:
 
Check out these fantabulous light sources ready for space saving growing. The GS300 & GS600 could help any modest grower end with professional results. Brand new cutting edge technology that does all the guessing work for you. With handy Veg & Bloom buttons you will save valuable time and resources in either model. Making lights more accessible and more affordable for multi-skill growers. Make your grow work for you...buy the GS300 or the GS600 today...or like my post for effort...lol

Data of GS300 and GS600
Model No.:GS-300
Power (Wattage):300w(60x5w)
Size(mm):310X210X65mm
Power consume (watt):160w
HPS/HID replace:500w
Max coverage at 40” Height:45”x35”
Core coverage at 40” Height:36”x24”
PPFD@18”(umol):925.3Umol
Controlling: Veg and Bloom Switch
Input voltage(V):AC85~260V
LED Brand:5w Epiled and Epistar
LED Quantity:60pcs
Secondary Lens:90 degree
Lifespan(hrs):50,000 Hours
Regular spectrum ratio: Full spectrum

Model No.:GS-600
Power (Wattage):600w(120x5w)
Size(mm):412X268X65mm
Power consume (watt):260w
HPS/HID replace:700w
Max coverage at 40” Height:60”x54”
Core coverage at 40” Height:45”X36”
PPFD@18”(umol):1746.5Umol
Controlling: Veg and Bloom Switch
GW(KG):5.6KG
Input voltage(V): AC85~260V
LED Brand:5w Epiled and Epistar
LED Quantity:120pcs
Secondary Lens:90 degree
Working environment:(-20~40°C)
Regular spectrum ratio: Full spectrum

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What are you currently using for lighting? I really hope we can help you out G2heal, I'll keep a special place in my wishes tonight for you. It's great to be acquainted. Goodluck my dear,

KIG :green_heart:cheers

I am kinda embarrassed of my set up, after looking at everyone's grow tent and pro lights. But it's saving me now, it's something that my vision created. But now I know I need to upgrade if I'm going to take this as serious as my healing depends on it. I'm sure I'll get there I just don't know how yet, and that is okay...lol. Not bad for a person with a broken brain...lol

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Week 3 - Clonepatra - Afghan Kush - May 14 cut - Planted May 22 -

She's had one light feeding because she will drag a bit. I planted her a bit early, should have waited until the root was thriving but I'll know for next tiiiiiime. Now my question to my teachers, should I fim or top this plant now? or later? or at all? to bondage her to my DIY scrog. I love not knowing what's going to happen next. I'm doing this blindly, but with my eyes wide open...lol :high-five:

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Thank you to everyone who helps me, it's an investment, and I recognize the time and energy you give freely. You guys mega rock!:circle-of-love:
 
I would go with a FIM attempt, that way you can use the scrog and fill it with the many new beaches that will form at the top of you plant. The lower branches will catch up eventually and you can feed them through the scrog around the outer edge. I have never scrogged before and I am just forming my own idea of what would be best. Let's wait to see if a scrog expert can weigh in. What you can do for now is ponytail the top growth to help the lower branches grow faster. As for when to do it, take a side shot of the main stem. Show me your nodes!

And is that t8s or t5's type lights? You have enough light for veg stage and you'll get some decent buds if you can keep them close enough to the foliage. You never know my dear, the 420 gods are very karmatic (is that a word), if not I'm trademarking lol... Full of karma, hope you are a believer too. Opportunity will come knocking you just have to answer...

KiG :green_heart:cheers
 
Hi G2,

Thanks for sharing your story. You are a strong person. I'm glad you found so much wonderful support on this site and in your garden. Your plants look great. Love the scrogs, they look perfect! If I can provide any help I certainly will but it'll more likely be the other way around since I've only been doing this for less than 2 months. Thanks for stopping by my journal, I had already read yours but your post encouraged me to post here. Keep up the good work.
 
Hi G2,

Thanks for sharing your story. You are a strong person. I'm glad you found so much wonderful support on this site and in your garden. Your plants look great. Love the scrogs, they look perfect! If I can provide any help I certainly will but it'll more likely be the other way around since I've only been doing this for less than 2 months. Thanks for stopping by my journal, I had already read yours but your post encouraged me to post here. Keep up the good work.

Well then I get to be there for you! :cheer:
Thank you for posting, your name is something I care about. How important is it to choose what medicine we take for healing?! We are connected now, and I certainly will be watching you grow too. Welcome to my journal, I don't know how it's going to turn out, but we are committed nonetheless. :thumb:
 
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