Help! nursing drug test on the 7th - Need Advice

[smokinnurse]

Ok today is the 26th, I will have been clean for 1 week and 5 days by the time of my test (the 7th)... I'm female, 5'8, 250 lbs, recently started exercising ... I'm wondering if I follow the tips of metamucil, exercise, niacin, fluids and then 3 days before the test stop exercising and start the high fat red meat diet and drink the 36oz of gatorade the day of the test ... in everyone's opinion ... will I be clean by then or should I fake an unexpected death in the family??! I'm unemployed currently and neeeeed this job. I didn't think they'd hire me that fast... they never hired me that fast before!! (as in they never called me back before >.<)
thanks for the help, it's appreciated
*facepalms self for being an idiot*

 

[smokinnurse]

Re: HALP! nursing drug test on the 7th... NEED ADVICE

AND also, with the required specific gravity ... how would they know that i don't just drink that much water all the time?? I mean I've had a recorded hyponatremia (low sodium) before because I drank SOOO much crystal light flavored water *shrug*

 

[Weed420]

Re: HALP! nursing drug test on the 7th... NEED ADVICE

Doubtful you will be clean by then. I would still try to get clean as a backup plan but I would sub with synthetic or someone elses clean urine if I were you.

 

[smokinnurse]

well crap. What do you suppose my best option is? I don't know any females that don't smoke. I have guy friends but i'm guessing there are gender specific tests they could run? maybe. As of right now, I'm thinking I'll drink A TON of water and gatorade and when the test inevitably comes back invalid, they can call me back in but I'll say I'm out of town for a week .... sound plausible? Otherwise ... not sure what to do. Damn these laws are RETARDED as long as it's not in my system actively NOW who cares if I smoke pot in my own time? I think all drugs should be decriminalized. If someone wants to be dumb enough to do the hard stuff? Let em. It's their own fault/their own choice. I hate that the government thinks it ok for women to regulate their rights for pregnancy and a LIFE inside them but OH NO can't regulate my rights to smoke a non harmful substance. PFFT

 

[Weed420]

You can use either sex for substitution. Its illegal for the labs to test for it. You can always sub with synthetic or there are a couple outfits that sell real powdered urine. One of those are going to be your best bet. I would still stay clean and do dilution the morning of the test just as a backup plan.

 

[CauseNEffect]

I also work in healthcare.

Being a female you are in a better position to substitute with clean natural male urine. You had better know this person extremely well though to avoid the possibility of any pharmaceuticals that they may take from causing a positive for something other than THC... Unless you are also prescribed something in the same drug class and able to verify (that is more complicated when it comes to opiods).

As a male, I am NOT in as good of a position to substitute with natural female urine. This usually only comes into play at or immediately following menstruation. In your case, during a drug screen collection they will not ask your last menstrual period. However, if I were to substitute with natural female urine which was collected at or around that time it would be highly unusual to detect that level of blood in male urine - especially when you can differentiate between hemolyzed and non-hemolyzed blood. They also do not ask your gender on the chain-of-custody form, but it is easy to determine gender based on name unless you have an unusual or foreign name. An example is that my girlfriend currently has her period - not a good idea to use her urine right now... Also my sister-in-law is currently pregnant mid-term. Her urine is totally clean. However, being that I am male it would also be unwise to use a pregnant female's urine which it would be possible to detect beta-hCG in.

So yes - substituting for a male's natural urine which you know to be totally clean is a possibility. Now you just have to figure out who, and also figure out your method of delivery (remember - nothing in your pockets. Crotch it somehow) as well as how to guarantee the temperature range by the time you hand the specimen cup over. Needs to be 92-98 F. If it reads 100 F you can always quietly blow on the specimen to cool it slightly before opening the door. Remember in an unobserved drug screen you typically have a maximum of 5 minutes to do what you have to do and produce the sample.

I should also add that as part of my job I have conducted drug screens (as a collector) for several years. I have conducted observed screens (ex: physicians for state med. board), DOT screens and collection protocols, and your run-of-the-mill non-DOT unobserved screens. Yours will be non-DOT, and I'm sure an unobserved collection for pre-employment (THC cutoff 50ng). Keep in mind many hospital systems have also started testing for nicotine in urine drug screen collections (this may affect your insurance, or even them hiring you). Keep this in mind if trying to find suitable urine to substitute. Nowadays for healthcare purposes this person should also be a non-smoker/non-vaper to avoid nicotine detection...

Anyway I hope this helps!

 

[CauseNEffect]

Well Smokinnurse today is the day right?

I wish you the best of luck in whichever method you decided on.

I hope you check this thread again, and hopefully provide us details and updates about which route you took.

I have to be prepared for mine on Wednesday morning. Hopefully it does not come this soon, but I have to be prepared if it does... I ordered QuickFix Canadian (w/ uric acid) 5.7-1, which will be here tomorrow. However, I also have asked someone closer than a three hour round trip if they would be willing to provide me a sample. I still have yet to get a concrete answer... If this person agrees I would prefer to use natural clean urine.

I've already decided if that is the case, and I still have the QuickFix left over I will have my own 'personal' drug screen performed through LapCorp or Quest in the area using the QuickFix (Canadian) method - just to test it. This way the results can only be released to me. Yeah it will cost money, but it will also put my mind to ease if the strictest labs return normal negative results. If that is the case, I will probably always have to keep a bottle on me in case of the surprise random notification somewhere down the line... And of course if I have to go to such great lengths, I will happily share the results with the 420Mag community!

But for now good luck Smokinnurse! Please share your experience with us when it is all said and done.