Introduce my significant other to cannabis?

[420Friendly]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

hey guys,

i got a decision to make and i want to consult the wisdom of 420 members.

My girlfriend knows i smoke weed (perhaps not as regularly as i do), and she's totally fine with it. She knows the growing issues as well and i think she's cool with it too.
Clap on her back for accepting all that and my past because she is nearly a 100% law-abiding citizen (aside from underage drinking years back).

my dilemma is whether to introduce her to the wonderful herb/drug/substance of marijuana...


sometimes when i see her, i sneak a joint beforehand or a couple bowls on my pipe. and im sick of hiding it from her in this way.
and i also wish that i could get high with her. this sounds stupid if i was talking about any drugs, but i have never cuddled while high on weed.
sometimes when i'm sitting at home alone, high and shit, i would just miss her and wish that she was there with me.....high as well LOL.


but the issue thats stopping me is her innocence. she's not young anymore but she listens to nearly everything her mum tells her to do. she stays home alot to take care of her 3 younger sisters and do the house cleaning while her parents go out or are at work. she's never done any drugs or anything illegal aside from drinking underage a long time ago...which nowadays im sure doesn't even count...
what i dont want to take away from her is this innocence.
i feel that if i introduce her to cannabis or any other "illicit" drug (no matter that we consider it unreasonable to make cannabis illegal), that i would rob her of this purity.

ok i might be exaggerating it a bit. we fuck and shit. but i mean one thing that i love about her is that she's so different from the world i'm used to. that while everything else seems dark and shady, she seems like a bright light at the end of the tunnel.

i'm afraid that by introducing her to cannabis that i would lose the light...


what should i do?

what would you do?



HELP<---for the context, this is begging, not adoration

I think you know your answer before you asked the question. You don't want her to smoke based on your request. I tried writing several of my thoughts down, but everytime, it gets complicated. You seem to have several emotions going on all at once. You need to decide if you are intent on marrying her, what you want to do with marijuana regarding your own lifestyle, how much of an honest person you are with, not just her, but yourself. You posted something very complex. You must answer your own question.

 

[JMo15]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

I think you know your answer before you asked the question. You don't want her to smoke based on your request. I tried writing several of my thoughts down, but everytime, it gets complicated. You seem to have several emotions going on all at once. You need to decide if you are intent on marrying her, what you want to do with marijuana regarding your own lifestyle, how much of an honest person you are with, not just her, but yourself. You posted something very complex. You must answer your own question.

A woman does not stop being attractive simply because she smokes pot. I don't know why he wouldn't want to share in being high with her. I absolutely love being high while my boyfriend is high because we laugh a lot more and we don't make a big deal out of things. It's different than being with cool friends in a good way.

 

[ThickSkinned]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

I think I got it. I think she wants to smoke, which is why she was dropping the hint. But I think that, as cool as smoking with her sounds and you want to share it with her, you think it'll destroy the thing you love most about her, the way she completes you.

Listen to 420Friendly, man. That is some sage advice. You need to figure out how important this relationship is, and where is it going? If it goes on permanently, you may have to ask what risks and compromises you might make to try to keep it. Deep thinking, you have to do.

 

[onwi]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

I think you know your answer before you asked the question. You don't want her to smoke based on your request. I tried writing several of my thoughts down, but everytime, it gets complicated. You seem to have several emotions going on all at once. You need to decide if you are intent on marrying her, what you want to do with marijuana regarding your own lifestyle, how much of an honest person you are with, not just her, but yourself. You posted something very complex. You must answer your own question.

LOL this was quite like...WABAAM to read. im not quite sure how honest i am to myself? i mean, i dont really know how to gauge that. i dont lie to myself. but im interpreting what you mean by that as in: to be honest with myself with what i really want and the direction in which things are going in regards to her.

and i guess that is something extremely complicated to figure out by myself. my current situation is really confusing. and its not that i already knew my answer and i was asking for the hell of it; i gess what i tried to accomplish with this post is to do what this community of posters does so well, to absorb different opinions by different individuals, and make sure i cover all basis and all ways in which my dilemma could be perceived before i go ahead and make a definite decision.

the situation with me and my "gf" is weird. we actually broke up a while ago, but i dont noe whether to put "broke up" in brackets or not because we essentially act the same towards each other and ahve the same obligation and commitment to each other as before...the only difference is whiel she wants all these things, she refuses to admit that we're together.
if you asked me i would definitely marry her. but i think she and me have to really sort things out and learn to communicate and be more mutually understanding before we can even consider that 'phase' of a relationship...

and you are definitely correct that i have mixed and conflicting emotions about this issue. and you coudl say the same for my attitude towards the relationship as well.
and as of right now we're in th eprocess of 'patching up' all those things that we normally would just fight and sweep under the carpet the next day...


but good job on reading into what i wrote. u were right in a vast majority of what you said impressive




ANYHOW

for the big revelation...

(drum roll)

(and again)



ok. so last friday was her belated birthday celebration at some club. and because im not really an alcohol sorta person, i brought along a joint with me. and while i was stealth toking at the back on some sofas she came along and said she wanted some. so she took 2 drags.
this is the weird part. because she also had like 3 shots and some random drinks nearly straight after, im not too sure whether the 'high' she experienced was from the weed or from the alcohol. she goes its the alcohol, but seeing her eyebags i'd say the weed...

so im not sure whether to actually count that as her trying it or not...

but anyhow i've made the decision that i want to share this aspect of my life with her in a greater way (like more than just her knowing that im a pothead). i havn't asked her if she wanted to try more...because to her that time at the club was 'trying', but im thinking of bringing some next time we have time and an opportunity to relax and be alone....

pray that her dad doesn't catch me...



i'll let you all know how high she gets...
or if she refuses to do it again

updates soon

 

[onwi]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

A woman does not stop being attractive simply because she smokes pot. I don't know why he wouldn't want to share in being high with her. I absolutely love being high while my boyfriend is high because we laugh a lot more and we don't make a big deal out of things. It's different than being with cool friends in a good way.

Its not that a woman stops being attractive. if i was single, i'd opt for a pothead gf just so we could get high and have possibly deeper and more in-depth or in-psyche experiences...

the issue i was on about, is that with her, one of the reasons i was attracted to her is that she was so different to my lifestyle. basically my friends, drugs and other crap.
regardless of whether we believe that cannabis should be legalised or not, as of right now, it is illegal in my country (and yours).
and not just cannabis, but all illegal substances and all things associated with it, to me, represents a counter-culture, flipside and nemesis to the general social structure of abiding the law and siding with the majority on issues of morality and right and wrong.
and in alot of ways, as much as i love cannabis, i'm sometimes sick of the dirty bad things that get associated with this counter-culture ie. drug dealers, gangs etc. (maybe more prominent by belonging to an asian community over here) and the way that it used to make my life seem all grey and dreary...

thats what i meant by the whole "pure" thing. like she's untouched by all this and basically spent her entire teenage years taking care of her younger sisters, going to school and maybe the occasional party...


and its not that she becomes 'unattractive' in my eyes. its just im afraid of the way my feelings MIGHT change towards her if she became overly involved in the above mentioned social groupings and behaviour...




maybe i'll put it like this:

if she smokes occasionally or regularly with me, or with friends at her or their house or soemthing, and we chill, relax and watch movies etc. etc.
to me thats cool

but if she starts smoking and becomes a gigantic pothead like me, and cant deal without having pot in their house, or goes out to go visit some drug house to get her own weed and/or goes and tries other substances...im not too sure about what my feelings towards her would become...


the problem is im not sure which way she'll go; and thats why im hesitant in introing her to it...
call that hypocrisy, but woteva. its the same thing as some parent who swears/cusses/curses all the time, but doesn't want their own kids to swear...


-end of rant-

thanks for reply tho jmo

 

[onwi]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

I think I got it. I think she wants to smoke, which is why she was dropping the hint. But I think that, as cool as smoking with her sounds and you want to share it with her, you think it'll destroy the thing you love most about her, the way she completes you.

Listen to 420Friendly, man. That is some sage advice. You need to figure out how important this relationship is, and where is it going? If it goes on permanently, you may have to ask what risks and compromises you might make to try to keep it. Deep thinking, you have to do.

Yeah. you definitely got along to what i was talking about...

and thanks for the care buddy. its well appreciated

thanks for the advice and the fact you bothered to post

 

[julianne]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

Way back when, the guys would introduce their GFs to it by taking a hit and then transfering the smoke to GF via a nice kiss. She might like it that way. No booze please.
P.S. Shouldn't a gf also be friend? Would you worry about the loss of innocence if it were a guy friend?

 

[onwi]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

Way back when, the guys would introduce their GFs to it by taking a hit and then transfering the smoke to GF via a nice kiss. She might like it that way. No booze please.
P.S. Shouldn't a gf also be friend? Would you worry about the loss of innocence if it were a guy friend?

HAHa thats a great idea. hehehe thanks for the tip

hmmm. i think if it were a guy, and one of the things i became friends with him was because of the reasons i listed above...
my attitude towards the friendship and him as a friend would most likely change as well...

i mean again the same thing:

if he just chilled with it and dusn't go off the deep end, then it'd be fine...

but if he became a totally different person, hanging out with drug dealers etc. etc. then yeah definitely i would find this an issue...

so rest assured its not a sexist thing .



thanks for the post julianne

 

[420Friendly]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

but good job on reading into what i wrote. u were right in a vast majority of what you said impressive




Thank you. (I am just one of those invisible members around here, prowling the chats for a few years, in case anyone was wondering.)

 

[420Friendly]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

Way back when, the guys would introduce their GFs to it by taking a hit and then transfering the smoke to GF via a nice kiss. She might like it that way. No booze please.
P.S. Shouldn't a gf also be friend? Would you worry about the loss of innocence if it were a guy friend?

In his case, he might. One of his points is that the sleezy side of the pot world goes along with the fun part. If you have a good friend, someone you trust, would you want to expose that person to people who may be under surveillance, involved in gangs, or are for some other reason having to deal drugs so as to make money off the books? Isn't it that "innocence" which may have attracted you to that person in the first place (and I am not meaning in the gay sense, just in the buddy sense)? Conversely, that "innocent" person may have found the other person "attractive" partly because of that wilder edge. Maybe each wants to live vicariously through the other without being like the other? Opposites are also known to attract. This happens to people of both the same and opposite sexes. It is just very complicated and personal to the people involved and how deep their emotional entanglement becomes.

 

[JMo15]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

Its not that a woman stops being attractive. if i was single, i'd opt for a pothead gf just so we could get high and have possibly deeper and more in-depth or in-psyche experiences...

the issue i was on about, is that with her, one of the reasons i was attracted to her is that she was so different to my lifestyle. basically my friends, drugs and other crap.
regardless of whether we believe that cannabis should be legalised or not, as of right now, it is illegal in my country (and yours).
and not just cannabis, but all illegal substances and all things associated with it, to me, represents a counter-culture, flipside and nemesis to the general social structure of abiding the law and siding with the majority on issues of morality and right and wrong.
and in alot of ways, as much as i love cannabis, i'm sometimes sick of the dirty bad things that get associated with this counter-culture ie. drug dealers, gangs etc. (maybe more prominent by belonging to an asian community over here) and the way that it used to make my life seem all grey and dreary...

thats what i meant by the whole "pure" thing. like she's untouched by all this and basically spent her entire teenage years taking care of her younger sisters, going to school and maybe the occasional party...


and its not that she becomes 'unattractive' in my eyes. its just im afraid of the way my feelings MIGHT change towards her if she became overly involved in the above mentioned social groupings and behaviour...




maybe i'll put it like this:

if she smokes occasionally or regularly with me, or with friends at her or their house or soemthing, and we chill, relax and watch movies etc. etc.
to me thats cool

but if she starts smoking and becomes a gigantic pothead like me, and cant deal without having pot in their house, or goes out to go visit some drug house to get her own weed and/or goes and tries other substances...im not too sure about what my feelings towards her would become...


the problem is im not sure which way she'll go; and thats why im hesitant in introing her to it...
call that hypocrisy, but woteva. its the same thing as some parent who swears/cusses/curses all the time, but doesn't want their own kids to swear...


-end of rant-

thanks for reply tho jmo

I'm a nursing student that makes straight A's in high school and in college. I was a Christian for 18 years. My friends typically are not into drugs, they are more into alcohol and that college party scene. And I smoke. What I'm trying to say is that she won't change her entire personality just because she starts smoking.

 

[onwi]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

In his case, he might. One of his points is that the sleezy side of the pot world goes along with the fun part. If you have a good friend, someone you trust, would you want to expose that person to people who may be under surveillance, involved in gangs, or are for some other reason having to deal drugs so as to make money off the books? Isn't it that "innocence" which may have attracted you to that person in the first place (and I am not meaning in the gay sense, just in the buddy sense)? Conversely, that "innocent" person may have found the other person "attractive" partly because of that wilder edge. Maybe each wants to live vicariously through the other without being like the other? Opposites are also known to attract. This happens to people of both the same and opposite sexes. It is just very complicated and personal to the people involved and how deep their emotional entanglement becomes.

yet again true.

right on.

 

[onwi]

Re: Introduce my significant other to cannabis???

I'm a nursing student that makes straight A's in high school and in college. I was a Christian for 18 years. My friends typically are not into drugs, they are more into alcohol and that college party scene. And I smoke. What I'm trying to say is that she won't change her entire personality just because she starts smoking.

ahaha. i got straight A's in highschool, 2nd in my course for university, been a chrisitan since i was a kid, but i somehow still end up getting involved into the crap im talking about...
i gess only difference is, nearly all my friends do drugs or has done drugs and are into the more unnattractive aspects of drugs/crime etc.


i gess alot of how it turns out depends on where you are, who you hang out with and different circumstances...

my entire problem was that i was afraid of which she might become...


but hopefully she can become a smoker like you


thanks for the reply jmo