I need some help. I have a whole crap load of health issues: Bipolar2, PTSD, general anxiety disorder, diabetes, cornery artery diease, chronic back pain (sciatica) and possibly chronic regional pain syndrome (from the heart attack I had, in my thigh) etc...
Anyhow, when I get hypo, I tend to become extremely irritable and go into fits of rage. I can't control it. I will be aware I am doing it, that I need to stop, I will try to meditate etc... but the second there is stimulous, BAM. Total raving asshole.
I am not violent, but I say terrible things, have horrible trains of thought etc...
Now, I smoked when I was a kid and enjoyed it a lot. But, when I tried it as an adult, I found the anxiety was horrible. It felt like I was on the edge of a heart attack for several hours. My eyes felt lagged out, tracers etc.. It wasn't pleasurable in any sense. I realize now both times I smoked it came from the same guy who grew his own stuff. He was a lifetime smoker, but I have no idea of the strain, but I do know he went for maximum thc. It might have been called blue-something... I imagine both times the stuff was w/e he liked and I don't think he switched strains much after a lifetime of smoking.
I understand sativa's can bring on mania, and give a mental high? But I don't know what a mental high is vs. a body high. Would the anxiety and feeling lagged be indicia or sativa? Is there something that combines the best of both? Or, if I smoke, should I focus on mental states/relaxation or body pain?
I am totally lost. Any help would be appreciated.
edit > Oh, I have access to xanax which I largely don't use because it causes me to become depressed and lethargic although it handles a lot of the anxiety I experience due to PTSD. I have no idea if xanax in combination with X would help or should be avoided. AND, I should say, w/e my friend was smoking, he stopped at some point during his cancer treatment because the anxiety it started to produce was too much to handle for him.
Anyhow, when I get hypo, I tend to become extremely irritable and go into fits of rage. I can't control it. I will be aware I am doing it, that I need to stop, I will try to meditate etc... but the second there is stimulous, BAM. Total raving asshole.
I am not violent, but I say terrible things, have horrible trains of thought etc...
Now, I smoked when I was a kid and enjoyed it a lot. But, when I tried it as an adult, I found the anxiety was horrible. It felt like I was on the edge of a heart attack for several hours. My eyes felt lagged out, tracers etc.. It wasn't pleasurable in any sense. I realize now both times I smoked it came from the same guy who grew his own stuff. He was a lifetime smoker, but I have no idea of the strain, but I do know he went for maximum thc. It might have been called blue-something... I imagine both times the stuff was w/e he liked and I don't think he switched strains much after a lifetime of smoking.
I understand sativa's can bring on mania, and give a mental high? But I don't know what a mental high is vs. a body high. Would the anxiety and feeling lagged be indicia or sativa? Is there something that combines the best of both? Or, if I smoke, should I focus on mental states/relaxation or body pain?
I am totally lost. Any help would be appreciated.
edit > Oh, I have access to xanax which I largely don't use because it causes me to become depressed and lethargic although it handles a lot of the anxiety I experience due to PTSD. I have no idea if xanax in combination with X would help or should be avoided. AND, I should say, w/e my friend was smoking, he stopped at some point during his cancer treatment because the anxiety it started to produce was too much to handle for him.