Should I or Shouldn't I?

Re: Should i or shouldnt i?

i happen to have never been caught smoking weed. i got a mild scare this one time when my cousin was rolling some j's for me in his car, some chick wanted the parking spot and knocked on the passenger side window (my side), i was like OH SHIT, in my mind hehe.

well im not full on schizo, just sayin, but i have schizo affective disorder, affective meaning that to be diagnosed with this you need to have a mood disorder too, each being depression and i think the other is um bi polar i think, man, im not sure about the second. i forgot. oh duh! the second is actully schizophrenia..i think. eh its been awhile sinced ive looked into my diagnosis. its some mood disorder and depression.

i am on meds though. 2 major ones and 2 "helpers". im pretty excited, today is when my dealer and i exchange. hope i get some exotics. ima get a 20 sack or 20 "bag". thanx for the comment organic!
 
Re: Should i or shouldnt i?

np bro. I forget the extent my brother was diagnosed, but he was on various meds over the years, and while he was with me and smoked daily, he was able to come off the meds completely and enjoyed a consistent stable mood. Cannabis is some powerful stuff, good luck on the grab, hope you get something really chronic
 
Re: Should i or shouldnt i?

hey wingman, thats real cool, thanx! um. i private messaged vince about my departure from 420times and weed but um, i think its this place im in, in general, like my home, my neighborhood, my life, i got lots of growing to do. by the way i missed most of my adolecent years due to depression and arguments and etc. i did get to enjoy marijuana for a few years, like full on, good times.

i wish there was some cure to this conflict with weed that i have that when i smoke it, if i dont feel safe and comfortable i bug out. i have this old memory of being called a crack head indirectly, but if u look at my profile picture, youll see that im just this young dude. now, when i smoked recently i had to pick up my nephew while still buzzed and man did that suck. i wasnt ready for that, i pleaded to my sister that i couldnt go that way. man i already feel that im being guided through life, imagine thinking that mostly every thought, the mild and harmless ones, and the ones you would want to keep privte for someone your can confide in, which i rarely have too. anyway thats some of my paranoia but um, thats how it felt when i went to do my errand. it jusrt sucked, i actuallt felt like a crack head, its like im so expressive that shit just comes out by itself. i wasnt talking to myself or singing in the street or some shit but like i said i get really physcially expressive, if its not a glance its this common sense stigma thing that i got where i think people are like might as well in my mind with me, at times.

see, i have paranoia, low self esteem due to this connecting minds i get when im being influenced by a mood or thought, specifclly. now, when that influence is a toxic (in a good way) substance like weed. it used to be nuttin to me to be outside high, i dont know.

im describing mad shit here about myself but thats cuz i dont really mind doing that here. like, if i cant have physical friends except for a select few, i atleast wanna leave a mark on someone out there that is not gonna stalk or follow me or some shit, namean.

i got mad shit to say sometimes but then again there are the silent times but thats cool. anyway, hey vince, just cuz im not smokin, id still like to post at times.

peace yall!

btw- sorry for the order of my thoughts, some of this might need to be read intuitively = /.
 
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