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What's your crazy story?

DooberDogger

New Member
How have you other stoners dealt with drug tests for work etc??

Here's my story:
As a heavy guy and a heavy toker I didn't have the time to wait for my system to cleanse and used U-pass Synthetic Urine to fake it. I crotched the fake piss bottle in my boxers and kept it warm with the little hand warmer it came with. I'm not gonna lie, i've never had adrenaline pounding so hard as i did in the testing place lobby. It sounds silly but I almost felt like I was in a spy movie, and after I pulled it off felt strangely exhilarated. I just got the job and still kinda buzzin on my little heist.

Do you have any crazy storiess???
 

Gadfly

Well-Known Member
You know how everyone hates a one upper? Well, I’m about to raise ya one.

A long time ago, in a galaxy I’ve never knowingly left, a much younger Gadfly, barely out of the maggot stage applied for a shitty job with a buddy and was given instructions to drive to X and do a piss test. Excited about the potential job but perplexed because there was no way I was going to pass and we had to get the test done fast. This was years before medical Mj was commonplace, and way before reliable information could easily be found, not that we would’ve read it anyways. Thinking with all the intensity of a math major during finals, we came up with a brilliant plan. I had a buddy that didn’t smoke piss in a couple containers. I taped one to my thigh and my other testing friend did the same. No nervousness. Gadfly was a very free spirited youth and no stranger drug tests. The kind where I dude stands in front of you and watches the pee pee come out of the wiener, so an employer piss test seemed like easy street. Had taken and passed/tricked many tests so confidence was in abundance. We check in, take our seats, and wait for show time. All of a sudden, Mr. Gadfly notices a wet feeling trickling down his leg. That’s odd...oh no, please no. Regardless, the Gadfly maintains an epic Kenny Rogers style poker face and never lets on that another human’s urine, is slowly trickling down his leg. Mercifully, he gets called back and the leakage was minimal. As you can imagine, Gadfly rushed to empty the container into the test cup and cleaned up his leg as best as he could. Hands the test to the tech who then slaps a sticker on the cup and makes a Hmmm face. That’s not good. Then the tech holds the cup up and really looks at the sticker. That’s definitely not good. Faking sweet adolescent innocence, “is everything ok?” The tech replies, “well, either you’re dead or this isn’t your urine.” Mostly sure I was still with the living, I inquired as to why he would ask. This is the precise moment your humble Gadfly learned that testing facilities like this paid attention to liquid temps. Asked if I’d like to retest, I politely declined. Never got a call back from that job. :hmmmm:
 

Bilbobudkin420

Well-Known Member
You know how everyone hates a one upper? Well, I’m about to raise ya one.

A long time ago, in a galaxy I’ve never knowingly left, a much younger Gadfly, barely out of the maggot stage applied for a shitty job with a buddy and was given instructions to drive to X and do a piss test. Excited about the potential job but perplexed because there was no way I was going to pass and we had to get the test done fast. This was years before medical Mj was commonplace, and way before reliable information could easily be found, not that we would’ve read it anyways. Thinking with all the intensity of a math major during finals, we came up with a brilliant plan. I had a buddy that didn’t smoke piss in a couple containers. I taped one to my thigh and my other testing friend did the same. No nervousness. Gadfly was a very free spirited youth and no stranger drug tests. The kind where I dude stands in front of you and watches the pee pee come out of the wiener, so an employer piss test seemed like easy street. Had taken and passed/tricked many tests so confidence was in abundance. We check in, take our seats, and wait for show time. All of a sudden, Mr. Gadfly notices a wet feeling trickling down his leg. That’s odd...oh no, please no. Regardless, the Gadfly maintains an epic Kenny Rogers style poker face and never lets on that another human’s urine, is slowly trickling down his leg. Mercifully, he gets called back and the leakage was minimal. As you can imagine, Gadfly rushed to empty the container into the test cup and cleaned up his leg as best as he could. Hands the test to the tech who then slaps a sticker on the cup and makes a Hmmm face. That’s not good. Then the tech holds the cup up and really looks at the sticker. That’s definitely not good. Faking sweet adolescent innocence, “is everything ok?” The tech replies, “well, either you’re dead or this isn’t your urine.” Mostly sure I was still with the living, I inquired as to why he would ask. This is the precise moment your humble Gadfly learned that testing facilities like this paid attention to liquid temps. Asked if I’d like to retest, I politely declined. Never got a call back from that job. :hmmmm:
You like one upping huh? Lol
I got one.

Worked the railways for years so was also no stranger to piss tests, also the people we worked for werent dumb we knew a week or 2 minimum before we had to piss... unless you fuck up and nearly kill someone then ya pissing on the spot lol. Anyway.
Told my Boss at company A to poke his job up his ass so i knew i would have to piss soon to go to another company. Cool not a problem, usual routine. Looots of water and cranberry juice. Boxing style runs (fully clothed with a plastic bag or cling film under your clothes to make ya sweat even more) and general gym work. (Cannabis stores in your fat cells which is why it hangs around so long). This method does work provided you have ATLEAST a week even then its risky though lol. Then it gets to friday... 2 days before i gotta piss Bilbo goes out with the boys... swiftly got out of hand. Wake up next morning sore nose, half a spliff in the ashtray and no fucking idea what happened to me.
So i went and grabbed a detox thing that is supposed to clear you in 24h. Next day did my usual water, run, bag, water then went for the detox kit. It was 2 massive pills and a bottle. Turns out you had to swallow the pills and down the bottle in one. Like a 500ml bottle. So i began to chug it off. but bilbos hungover, bloated and overheated from the run i just had. Half way through the bottle with 0 warning.
Projectile illumonous red liquid sprang forth from my mouth like a fountain allll across the back of the sink splashed up the walls everything. The 2 pills however landed neatly in the plug hole just looking at me like "....you better put me back in ya mouth" so i did and continued to drink the last half of the bottle. I had to finish it cos the half a bottle i put in me before shot out with about a litre n half of water that had been sloshing about inside me aswell.
Pissed. The person at the place even commented on how watery my urine was. Still failed lol
 

Gadfly

Well-Known Member
You like one upping huh? Lol
I got one.

Projectile illumonous red liquid sprang forth from my mouth like a fountain allll across the back of the sink splashed up the walls everything. The 2 pills however landed neatly in the plug hole just looking at me like "....you better put me back in ya mouth" so i did...
Rock N Roll baby! Or Thug Life, depending on music preference I guess. Awesome.
:48:
 

Bilbobudkin420

Well-Known Member
Rock N Roll baby! Or Thug Life, depending on music preference I guess. Awesome.
:48:
Haahha this was a whiiiile ago by the way. I aint the same guy anymore... unless the occasion calls for it. Wedding, Big bday bash, Funeral, Thursday.
 

420 Warrior

Well-Known Member
Not a crazy story but still kinda cool

I once passed a test with nothing more than drinking a ton of water and making sure I was peeing clear before peeing in the cup. That was after smoking a fatty the very morning of the test too. Believe me I was scared as hell but after passing it I was in shock that I actually pulled it off
 

George Mc

Well-Known Member
How have you other stoners dealt with drug tests for work etc??

Here's my story:
As a heavy guy and a heavy toker I didn't have the time to wait for my system to cleanse and used U-pass Synthetic Urine to fake it. I crotched the fake piss bottle in my boxers and kept it warm with the little hand warmer it came with. I'm not gonna lie, i've never had adrenaline pounding so hard as i did in the testing place lobby. It sounds silly but I almost felt like I was in a spy movie, and after I pulled it off felt strangely exhilarated. I just got the job and still kinda buzzin on my little heist.

Do you have any crazy storiess???
sticking it to the Man
 

Marzbadrock

Plant of the Month: Sept 2015 - Nug of the Month: Jan 2016, May 2018
Not a drug test story but a crazy story....got thrown in jail for a Marijuana charge. I bitched n moaned that my shoulder was fucked up from the way the officer cuffed me, after a few days they decided they better bring me to hospital for a xray. The officer brought me in n waited til the nurse came n got us, brought me back to the xray room n the nurse told the officer ( huge fat bastard) that I couldn't be cuffed while getting xray. The officer removed my cuffs n as soon as it clicked off I ran like I never ran before, through the hospital til I found a fire exit n out I went! I was gone 3 days then turned myself in.....craziest thing is that no charges were filed!
 
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