Where do I stand?


New Member
. . in the war on drugs? IDK, and have always struggled with this. MJ has been with me for many years, and thru those have helped me through the toughest times, shown me things about myself, and shown me some of the best times in my life. . . Never hurt anyone while smoking, or by obtaining MJ. Hence it easy to say that I don't think it's fair for pot smokers and growers to goto jail for it. . . if it was legal, would probably remove most crime related too it. . . But, I am also a recovering addict. Well, sort of. . . In my early 20's I went beyond "stoner" into some hard "partying". This lasted almost 2 years, as I saw myself spiraling and I had LOTS of friends to help reel me back. No real damage, except to myself. . It really hadn't gotten that intense, but it left something with me I could never describe. . .

Finally, I'm back to being a stoner and in a much happier place, met a girl, fell in love, and a few years roll by. . Something happend, at that relationship went south, and she left me. I was really having a difficult time dealing with this, alienated myself from my friends, which of course thinned out over the years. I found myself hanging out with the wrong crowd again. . . and the "partying" got real HARD. Everything started to slip from my fingers, my apartment, lived in a hotel for a month before finding a room to rent in Manyunk, then lost 80% of my possesions because I didn't pay storage fees. My good friends disappeared, and then finally I lost my job, just couldn't keep what should have been important to me, in front of me. . . My vision of whats important just kept getting shorter and shorter. . And that room I rented turned out to almost be the end of me. I got involved with manufacturing, and using more and more. . . and then BOOM, my father is diagnosed with stomache cancer, and its real aggresive. BOOM, the girl I was seeing on and off thru my stay in Manyaunk is preggo. . . BOOM, I have an amazing realization, I'm an addict, and I can't be anymore.

To know me through the years in between the "partying" you wouldn't have guessed that I would even be involved with that. I am a big guy, but gentle and compassionate stoner. I'm buddhist, open minded, and now a loving father of a 1 1/2 yo daughter. Its been about 2 years since I last used anything other than natural, and its always been MJ. I somehow managed to pull up rigt before I hit the ground at mach 1. I don't know really how, wish I did, I might be able to pass it on. But what would the war on drugs done for me? Throw me in Jail? That seems like a sin. .I have a product life now, and a very happy daughter who is my heart. Yes I added to the compound problem of drugs in this country. But to me, there's something else wrong, and I never could put my finger on it. . .it can't be just in me, the problem. But the war, seems to create just as many problems as the drugs in the war. I can't argue that hard drugs are a real problem in this world, but I can't seem to take a stance in the war either, I can't stand behind something that imprisons Mj users of all peeps. . .come on.

IDk, was really high this morning cause there was no work, and this was on my mind. . . .lol!:peace:
Interesting tale man, glad you were able to turn things around for yourself before you crashed and burned. It's cool to see someone who is able to quit the hard stuff but have marijuana stick around. Anybody that I know who's pulled themselves out of an addiction like that has had to quit everything all together. No hard stuff, no weed, no alcohol, nothing. So it's cool to see that you are able to keep the benefits of marijuana while ditching the shit that was dragging you done. Keep it up dude.
Yeah, I keep reminding myself that anything can happen down the road. . . and it only takes THAT one bad decsion and boom, your back down the long downward spirl. So I will always be an "addict" of sorts. It's linked with my depression. . . when I forget myself, is when I tend to slip up. I smoke MJ for a million reasons. . .including, but not limited to, (like my disclaimer) Socially, spiritually, and for maintenance. LOL!

I never linked all drugs together, each has stood on its own with me, in their own time. . .MJ was never included, and is 1 of 3 things in my life that had changed me for the better. Just for some reason that particular substance just has this enchantment, only way I could describe it, for me. I can never seem to fully rid it from my mind, and thats why I'll always be on my gaurd.

It's this story and the many people like me, lucky and not so lucky, why I am so torn on the war. . . (on drugs) Sure it would be nice and clean for there to be a way to keep these things from never reaching peeps. . . but thats not gonna work, where there's a will ya know? and on the same token, some of those things saved my life, MJ being one of them. . . There's always 2 sides to a story, and it something else to be stuck between the 2. . .:peace:
If it were legal then it would remove all crimes related to it, hence it being legal.
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