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Your stoner quotes


Nug of the Month 2nd and Plant of the Month 3rd Pl
Re: Your stoner quotes.

my wife says to me the other day "Hey turn the TV up, I cant hear it over my thinking.....LOL and the funny part was , she wasnt even stoned hehehehe :cool027:


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

my wife says to me the other day "Hey turn the TV up, I cant hear it over my thinking.....LOL and the funny part was , she wasnt even stoned hehehehe :cool027:

Aha, thats pretty funny.

"did you guys chop up with out me?
"you fucking assholes."
"because i wanted to chop up you dick!"
"you didn't even pay for the weed.."
"so stop complaining.."
"pack us up then.."
"aight man, just stop crying."

The person who is cut is my mates brother, who is pretty cool, but is the "scavenger" smoker.


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

My roommate and I often talk about eating people, people that have been stuffed with beer-battered kittens.

I once told my roommate (jokingly, of course) that I was going to strangle him in his sleep, when he asked why, I replied "Because that's the best time."


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

"Dude, i feel enlightened or something"
"Whys that?"
"I was having all these deep thoughts and now i can't feel the top of my head."
"Haha, what were they dude?"
"I can't remember.."

And to this day, i still cannot honestly remember what i was thinking about.

"I'll ask brodo.."
"Wait.. did you just get brodie and frodo mixed up?"
"Haha, yea"
"I seriously have no idea, i must have been thinking about lord of the rings or something.."


420 Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

heres 1 ill never forget, we were all young once right.

local town cop "u feelin ok? ur eyes look a little red.
my good friend "its not mine!"


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

There is unrest in the forest
There is trouble with the trees
For the maples want more sunligh
And the oaks ignore their pleas

The trouble with the maples
(and theyre quite convinced theyre right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light
But the oaks cant help their feelings
If they like the way theyre made
And they wonder why the maples
Cant be happy in their shade?

There is trouble in the forest
And the creatures all have fled
As the maples scream `oppression!`
And the oaks, just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights
the oaks are just too greedy
We will make them give us light
Now theres no more oak oppression
For they passed a noble law
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet,
And saw ...


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

"Dude, if all else fails we will just pretend we're from lord of the rings, pick up sticks, and beat the shit out of the bear."


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

First time i smoked and got high.It was messed up. Lets just say it was a buddies birthday and we wanted to smoke him out. Well took to long he passed out and his cousin brought back two blunts and we went to smoke at like 3 in the morning.Well were outside next to a dumpster(they were building a whole bunch of houses his was the first one done.the judge lived across the street)well my one buddy(a so called stoner) hit the blunt once(2 were goin around) ran in the middle of the road screamin "what are we doin out here" then walked back like nothin happened and told us how to keep the smoke from smelling.lol well a couple hits later he got scared. One of the street lights flicked on then a dog immediatley barked so he ran down the road but he was squated low to the ground runnin slow motion my buddy walked up to him and asked what he was doin.He ran in the wrong yard and wrong house.lol. My buddy who walked up to him came and said "carps, you got horns man. your the f uc kin devil. you got a tail man your the fu c kin devil" and ran away.
then we went inside to raid the fridge and the birthday boys house had one of those displays that show the time and temp of the fridge.well we thought the thing was locked and no one could open it so we woke the bday boy up to unlock his fridge.lol.then we asked for the code in case we got hungry again. and he said"your not gettin the code to my fridge"
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Herb Fellow

New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

On my last job everyone thought a few of us were on a bowling team because we would always say we are going bowling after work.;)


Re: Your stoner quotes.

Good topic.
OKay here is my favorite quote said high.
So me and one of my friends were smoking and talking, and then he said something that made me laugh soo hard! This was June 2009

"Dude what if the Orlando Magic played the Denver Nugs in the NBA finals. Dude Magic Nugs!"


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

I was with a friend and we just got done doing a burnie. We were driving around listening to "Tangerine Sky" by Kottonmouth Kings. Whether you know the lyrics or not, it goes: "Say goodbye to a tangerine sky, Say hello say hello to tomorrow." Anyways, when this song started out I was singing, "Say hello to a tangerine sky" and my friend said, "It's goodbye..." I responded with, "No asshole! We just F'ing got here and we're not leaving yet!"
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New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

my friend and i got baked one night and he goes into my basement to grab a beer from the fridge, and he comes up with a toilet seat infront of his face and he was like "who is it?" then he flipped the lid open and was like " its just me!" i dont know why but it was soo fucking funny and random...i still dont know where he found the toilet seat....


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

Hi V-shell, give us one bit of advice to help anyone go about their daily lives...

"If in doubt......."
"Roll a spliff"


Nug of the Month 3rd Place Winner (Nov 09')
Re: Your stoner quotes.

first time i made hash oil....

"dude *cough* yo..*cough* hey man..*cough* i..*cough cough* cant stop coughing..*cough cough* ouch *cough* . . . wow thats good"


Member of the Month: May 2009, Oct 2010, Sept 2017
Re: Your stoner quotes.

...and with snot hanging off your chin, "And smooth too!"

Or was that just me?


New Member
Re: Your stoner quotes.

To the young man sporting fresh dreadlocks and the colors of the Jamaican flag at the street festival this weekend:
"Dude, your Rastafar-eyes are super red and glassy!"
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