Herbies May Competition - Win Free Seeds

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Its competition time again!

To win a a 10 pack of seeds just follow these steps!

1. Link to your favorite seeds on any of our three sites, www.herbiesheadshop.com, www.autofloweringseeds.com or www.herbiespicknmixseeds.com. If you win, you'll get a pack of 10 of your chosen seeds

2. Tell us a joke.

Thats it.... good luck

Limited to 3 entries per person please.

Winner will be the one with the joke that makes us laugh the most :)

Competition ends 31st May 2015 winner to be announced 1st June.
 
went to the doctors the other day
said to him doctor every time me and the girl friend have sex her toes curl up and down
Doctor said did you try taking her tights off ... harr harrr harrrrr lol


wet to doctors the other day
he said to me " Nutty do you smoke after sex "
I said " I dont know ive never looked "


went to doctor yesterday
I said doctor i feel like im a pair of curtains
he said " pull your self together man "
but when i do that i feel like a £10 note
he said go to the shop the change will do you good :) :) :)
But every one ignores me
NEXT PLEASE :rofl::rofl::)

boom boom

the end !!


yeahhh i was first

Delicious Sugar Black Rose Auto Autoflowering Feminised Seeds - Herbies Seeds
 
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the night before the last round of the Asian open, well known golfer can't get to sleep. His helpers find him some company to spend the night and help him relax. During the naked wrestle she starts yelling "maling butas, maling butas", golfer thinking she's having time of her life, but she just kept repeating these words.... Next day feeling good, he beats the competition in record score.. As he putts the last and it sinks he jumps in excitement and yells first thing that comes to him in ecstasy "maling butas...maling butas" an official quickly runs up to him and says " excuse me mr woods, what do you mean, wrong hole?"
 
Before going any further, :bigtoke:

IMG-20141230-WA0001_1_.jpg


79c.jpg


! Pick and Mix Dutch Passion Durban Poison Feminised Seeds - Dutch Passion Durban Poison Feminised Seeds - Updated:18th May 2015
 
Hey guys, a fav of mine i have tried but im yet to grow.
! Pick and Mix Barneys Tangerine Dream Feminised Seeds - Barneys Tangerine Dream Feminised Seeds - Updated:18th May 2015

1. Ted and his wife were working in their garden one day when Ted looks over at his wife and says: "Your butt is getting really big, I mean really big! I bet your butt is bigger than the barbecue."
With that he proceeded to get a measuring tape and measure the grill and then went over to where his wife was working and measured his wife's bottom.
"Yes, I was right, your butt is two inches wider than the barbecue!!!!"
The wife chooses to ignore her husband. Later that night in bed, Ted is feeling a little frisky. He makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off.
"What's wrong?" he asks.
She answers: "Do you really think I'm going to fire up this big-ass grill for one little weenie?"


2. How do you keep an idiot in suspense?















:slide:
 
! Barneys Pineapple Chunk Feminised Seeds - Herbies Seeds

1:
A stoner and drunk were walking down a hill.
The drunk said, "Fuck This, I'm gonna pretend I'm a bottle and just roll down the hill!"
So he did it. The stoner thought for a minute then rolled down the hill.
When he got to the bottom the drunk was in pieces on the ground.
So the stoner walked over to him and the drunk looks up and says "How did you make it without getting hurt?"
The stoner said I pretended I was a joint!

2:
Two Hippies are walking down a railroad track stoned.
One Hippie says "This is a really long fucking staircase!"
The other Hippie says "I don't mind the stairs......................
it's this low fucking handrail that's killing me."

3:
A stoner walks into an appliance store and asks the owner, "How much for that TV set in the window?"
The owner looks at the TV set, then looks at the stoner, and says, "I don't sell stuff to potheads."
So the stoner tells the owner that he'll quit smoking pot and will come back the next week to buy the TV.
A week later, the stoner comes back and says, "I quit smoking pot. Now, how much for that TV set in the window?"
And the store owner says, "I told you I don't sell to potheads!"
So the stoner leaves again.
He comes back a week later and says, "How much for that TV?"
The owner says, "I'm not going to tell you again, I don't sell to potheads!"
The giggling stoner looks back at the owner and says, "How can you tell I'm a pothead?"
The owner looks back and says, "Because that's a microwave."
 
Barney's Pineapple Chunk Feminized Seeds

A public school teacher was arrested today at John F Kennedy International Airport this morning as he attempted to board a flight while in the possession of a ruler, a protractor, slide rule, and a calculator. At the press conference just before noon today, attorney general Loretta Lynch said she believes the man is a member of the notorious Al-Gebra movement. Although she did not identify the man she confirmed the man has been charged by the FBI with carrying weapons of math instruction.

Al-Gebra is a problem for us the Attorney General said. They derive solutions by mean and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values. They use secret names like x and y, and refer to themselves as unknowns. But, we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of medieval with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say “There are three sides to every triangle”. The Attorney General went on to say “Teaching our children sentient thought processes and equipping them to solve problems is dangerous and puts our government at risk".
 
Barney's Pineapple Chunk Feminized Seeds

With a very seductive voice a wife asked her husband "Have you ever seen twenty dollars all crumpled up?"

"No" said her husband.

She gave him a sexy little smile, unbuttoned the top three buttons of her blouse and slowly reached down in her cleavage created by a soft, silky push-up bra and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill. He took the crumpled twenty dollar bill from her and smiled approvingly.

She then asked "Have you ever seen fifty dollars all crumpled up?"

"No I haven't" he said with an anxious tone in his voice.

She gave him another sexy little smile pulled up her skirt, seductively reached into her tight sheer panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill. He took the crumpled fifty dollar bill and started breathing a little quicker with anticipation.

"Now" she said "Have you ever seen fifty thousand dollars all crumpled up?"

"No way" he said becoming even more aroused and excited to which she replied:

"Go look in the garage."
 
Barney's Pineapple Chunk Feminized Seeds

Last week, Ethel checked into a motel on her 60th birthday and decided she was a bit lonely. She thought, "I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual massages."

She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy calling himself Tender Tony – a very handsome man with assorted physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a sixpence off his well oiled butt....She figured, "What the heck, nobody will ever know. I'll give him a call."

"Good evening, ma'am, how may I help you?”

Ethel was taken aback by how sexy the man sounded on the phone and her heart rate quickened.

Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed right in, "Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I'd like you to come to my motel room and give me one."

"No, wait, I should be straight with you," Ethel explained. "I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hot, and I want it now. Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night - tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything, I'm ready!! Now how does that sound?"

The man said, "That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9 for an outside line.”
 
! Barneys L.S.D Feminised Seeds - Herbies Seeds

Ok... proper joke this time:

A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day, the wife asked her husband, "Honey, one of the bathroom pipes is leaking. Could you fix it?"

The husband looked at his wife and said, "What do I look like -- Mr. Plumber?"

A few days went by, and his wife asked for a favor. "Honey, the car won't start. I think it needs a new battery. Could you change it for me?"

"What do I look like -- Mr. Autoshop?"

A couple weeks later, the wife found a leak in the roof. "Honey, there's a leak on the roof. Can you please fix it?"

"What do I look like -- Tim "The Toolman" Taylor?" He sat down with a beer and watched a game on TV.

One rainy weekend, the husband realized the leak on the roof was gone. He went to the bathroom and found that the pipe behind the sink wasn't leaking anymore either.

When his wife returned home, the husband asked, "Honey, how come there aren't any more leaks and the car's running?"

She replied nonchalantly, "Oh, the other day I ran into one of our new neighbors, Jon. What a nice man. He came over and fixed everything.

"Wow, did he charge us anything?"

"No, he said he'd do it for free if I either baked him a cake or had sex with him."

"Cool. What kind of cake did you make?"

"Cake? What the hell do I look like -- Betty F#$king Crocker?"
 
How about a lymeric?

In days of old when Knights were bold
And condoms weren't invented.
They stuck a sock upon their cock
And babies were prevented.


Q. How many waffles does it take to build a dog house?

A. None. Alligators can't fly.

:tokin:
! Barneys Cookies Kush Feminised Seeds - Herbies Seeds
 
A boy goes to spend the summer with his grandparents.
After a day of helping his grandpa around the farm he notices his old grandpappy enjoying a cold beer. The boy asks "can I have one of those?" The old timer replied "does your pecker touch you butt?"
"No" answered the boy. "Well your to young" said the old timer.
the very next day the old man is having a cigar. "Gee grandpa can I have one of those" the old man replied "can your pecker touch your butt" "no" said the boy "well then your still to young.
A few days pass and the boys grandma makes him some chocolate chip cookies. The boy happily sits on the front porch munching away. The grandpa approaches and ask "can I have a cookie" the boy says "does your pecker touch your but?" "why yes it does " replied. The grandpa. The boy then responds with "good then you can go feck yourself."
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If this one doesn't win for funniest, it should at least make the "most inappropriate".

A man comes home and finds his girlfriend packing her bags. He says "Honey! What's wrong?"

She replies " I have heard some REALLY awful things about you and I can't stay here!!

He say's "Honey. What could you possibly have heard that would make you so upset?"

She says "I can't even look at you."

He says "Honey!! PLEASE!!! Tell me what you have heard. Let's talk about this."

She says "I heard you were a pedophile!"

He says " A pedophile? That's an awfully big word coming from a 9 year old don't you think?

! Dr Krippling Incredible Bulk Feminised Seeds - Herbies Seeds

I did warn you at the top. :)
 

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