too high?

[slntchttrbx]

ok getting high makes my mind wander, and the gears churn.
i have a question about the word love.
it is a feeling, an emotion correct?
and feelings and emotions have no boundaries.
so why does this one? it is the only one. it has a definition, a guidline, and boundaries. as well as expectations.
simple rules.
is there a rule on how many tears one can cry, or a rule on how big a smile should b?
i do not know " love " as society demands it.
a big example. i am " dating" this guy, and this girl. both know of eachother, both quite ok actually. we all hook up often. i tell him i love him, because i feel i do. he says i cannot. he is single with a few girls on the side. im perfectly ok with this. he spends more of his time with me, and my son. he helps me when i need help. he is there when i need him. he rubs my neck when i want to peel away the skin and call it quits. he treats me Physically well, and emotionally.
he states he cannot tell me he loves me back, because i do not know the meaning of love
he says that if i do "love" him i would not be ok with the fact he has other women. i do not understand this. why does a feeling/word HAVE to be associated with commitment and rules?
am i just that friggn high???

 

[HeadMed]

People seem naturally place boundaries on them selves. Ask for his definition of love... ask your friends... and question them about it.. make them explain it, I bet you get a bunch of different answers. Love to me isn't that warm fuzzy feeling, or the lust that so many confuse for love. Love is trust... it's not having boundaries, because they don't exist. When you love someone you have given them the power to hurt you in the worse ways possible, and done so freely, because of trust... ultimate trust. Our preconceived notions of normal are what set limits to what we can be... nothing else

 

[D.T.Hams]

you think too much for me.

 

[Smokin Moose]

Love is unconditional.

 

[girlnextdoor]

Love is giving someon the power to destroy your world in the blink of an eye, and trusting them 100% not to.

It's thinking about that person, no matter what your doing, who your with, or how much fun you're having.

It's falling asleep safe and warm and laying close together.

It's waking up every day and smiling because you are in their arms.




Love means different things to different people.

 

[girlnextdoor]

There are also different kinds of love. I love my boyfriend. I also love my best female friend. We always end every phone conversation with an "I love you". But they are completely different kinds of love. I love her becase she has been there for me through hell and back and saved my life quite a few times. I love my boyfriend because of the way he makes me feel, how happy he makes me, and the way he makes me a better person.

 

[Paladin]

Love is a rose, but you better not pick it .......It only grows when it's on the vine .........A hand full of thorns , and you know you've missed it .......You'll lose your love , when you say the word MINE.

 

[slntchttrbx]

People seem naturally place boundaries on them selves. Ask for his definition of love... ask your friends... and question them about it.. make them explain it, I bet you get a bunch of different answers. Love to me isn't that warm fuzzy feeling, or the lust that so many confuse for love. Love is trust... it's not having boundaries, because they don't exist. When you love someone you have given them the power to hurt you in the worse ways possible, and done so freely, because of trust... ultimate trust. Our preconceived notions of normal are what set limits to what we can be... nothing else

i like your logic. yours makes sence. i was starting to wonder if im just losing what lil of my brain i have left. its reassuring to know that someone views it as a feeling/emotion rather than a word created by society.

 

[slntchttrbx]

Love is unconditional.

what is unconditional?

 

[JMo15]

The feeling of "love" is a chemical reaction in the brain. It's basically a surplus release of endorphins and seratonin, the "feel-good" enzyme.

As a female, when you have sex with someone, after orgasm your body releases oxytocin, which is basically the "cuddle" hormone So for ladies, most of us will feel a sense of love and commitment to a partner after sex.

I don't even know how to approach the topic of "love" in an abstract manner. It's many different things to many different people, but for me, there are 4 different types of "love".

1. Familial love - the kind of love that you have with those that share a blood or family tie
2. Friend love - similar to love for a family member, but directed towards an individual not related to you
3. Puppy love - the initial feelings of excitement and attraction at either the beginning of a relationship, during a crush or any other love interest. Typical of "love at first sight"
4. Romantic love - love for another which includes feelings of mutual commitment and understanding. Includes a desire for physical in addition to emotional intimacy.

 

[JMo15]

Also, I don't buy that love is ever unconditional. Loving someone does mean that the amount of shit you're willing to take is increased, but I don't think it means that no matter what someone does to you, you will love them anyway.

If my boyfriend beat me, it doesn't matter how much I love him, I'm leaving him and I would cut him out of my life completely.

And there are plenty of things that my parents and friends could do that would make it entirely possible for me to cut them out of my life and quit caring about them as well.

I don't take a lot of shit from people to begin with. It upsets me more than anything to take even more shit than usual from people who are supposed to care about me and be in my corner.

 

[Strive4Wisdom]

Love is the foundation for life. Everything else is an extension due to the lack of understanding of the one love, the singularity of all things. And in turn, that is how we all learn from love, or lack-there-of.

 

[slntchttrbx]

very insightful, all of you.

 

[Big dog]

I believe that, at its core, love is commitment. Commitment by the one person to care for the other, over all others and even over himself. When two people love each other each will be committed to the other in just that way. And, together, they will be committed to common goals, aspirations and dreams.

 

[Smokin Moose]

Great thread!

 

[Boss]

Emotion is over-rated hehe

 

[TMoney21]

"All you need is love"
-The Beatles

 

[HeadMed]

If my boyfriend beat me, it doesn't matter how much I love him, I'm leaving him and I would cut him out of my life completely.

At that point, they've stepped so far outside what you have established as norm, added what may be a completely new (to you) aspect of their personality. That they are no longer the person you love...

Which is not to say that you stop caring or loving the person you knew, that is also a part of what is now a more close representation of their full self.


Damn i'm high,

*pass* someone else take the talking stick.....

 

[Smokin Moose]

I have never hit a woman and never will. I don't understand men who do. It is a cowardly act. I am no stranger to violence, having represented my Country on the international sporting arena in what is a blood sport, but there is a time and place for violence. I don't see how a man can hit a woman he loves. That is an action of hate. but enough said on that.

 

[JMo15]

For some men, violence is a way to garner control over their SO. I don't think that it's a healthy outlook on life whatsoever, but most of these individuals come from abusive homes and witnessed domestic violence between their own parents. Much the same way that battered women believe that they "deserve" it or think that it's normal behavior because they've seen it their entire life or are participating in a co-dependent relationship.

Maybe I've just cut myself off emotionally from most people because it's much better for my mental health to keep everyone at a safe distance. So it's very easy for me to cut people out of my life and just stop caring about them.