Hello,
I'm seeking advice on a condition I might have. Doctors in my country lack behind medical research and haven't been able to give me a diagnosis. I'm seeking for advice how to better my condition because this has an affect on my everyday life. Below are some of the symptoms:
- My imagination does not follow through — for example when I try to imagine every step single step how I play through a hole in a golf course (from reaching out to my tee and ball, from choosing an iron and hitting the ball until picking it out from the hole) — it can't be done because once I start thinking about it something else comes to mind. Also I can't control my golf swing, it is always messed up, even though in real life I have a golf handicap below 10 which is considered to be above average.
- I get anxiety working behind the computer.
- My body is tense (only until I acknowledge it and relax for some time until it becomes stressful again) - i feel this from my neck, shoulders and back. Even my genitals are tense, with cannabis they hang loose.
- I have constant worry and stress
- I am very sudden or hasty in my movements — becomes better when I smoke.
- When someone talks I drift away into my own thoughts.
- I am constantly battling between positive & negative thoughts — which at this moment my negative thoughts are taking over. Sometimes I notice the negative at first and then realize it's wrong. It takes effort to notice beauty. Life has become grey.
- I feel that I am constantly battling with depression, I am worried even though most of the things in my life are good.
A lot of this goes away when I either have a couple of glasses of wine or smoke cannabis. It doesn't always help but sometimes it feels good to have a vivid imagination and be stress free. If these symptoms are familiar to you what condition do they refer to?
I wish to reach a point where I don't depend on any substances and can control my body and mind once I wake up.
I appreciate your time and feedback!
A.
I'm seeking advice on a condition I might have. Doctors in my country lack behind medical research and haven't been able to give me a diagnosis. I'm seeking for advice how to better my condition because this has an affect on my everyday life. Below are some of the symptoms:
- My imagination does not follow through — for example when I try to imagine every step single step how I play through a hole in a golf course (from reaching out to my tee and ball, from choosing an iron and hitting the ball until picking it out from the hole) — it can't be done because once I start thinking about it something else comes to mind. Also I can't control my golf swing, it is always messed up, even though in real life I have a golf handicap below 10 which is considered to be above average.
- I get anxiety working behind the computer.
- My body is tense (only until I acknowledge it and relax for some time until it becomes stressful again) - i feel this from my neck, shoulders and back. Even my genitals are tense, with cannabis they hang loose.
- I have constant worry and stress
- I am very sudden or hasty in my movements — becomes better when I smoke.
- When someone talks I drift away into my own thoughts.
- I am constantly battling between positive & negative thoughts — which at this moment my negative thoughts are taking over. Sometimes I notice the negative at first and then realize it's wrong. It takes effort to notice beauty. Life has become grey.
- I feel that I am constantly battling with depression, I am worried even though most of the things in my life are good.
A lot of this goes away when I either have a couple of glasses of wine or smoke cannabis. It doesn't always help but sometimes it feels good to have a vivid imagination and be stress free. If these symptoms are familiar to you what condition do they refer to?
I wish to reach a point where I don't depend on any substances and can control my body and mind once I wake up.
I appreciate your time and feedback!
A.