I get drug tested every 2-3 weeks and haven't smoked in 3 months
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OlderStoner
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Life in the age of cheap UA has made it difficult for us stoners. I smoked 3-5 joints a day every day for years. And then I took a job which required me to pass a UA before being brought onto the payroll. After smoking daily for that long, of course my body was what is known as saturated. I was lucky that one of the VP's at this place was a good friend of mine and while he frowned on weed smokers he understood that this was a personal choice I had made and he fixed it so I didn't have to take the UA right away.
So I started to detox and thought okay this should take 2 maybe 3 weeks. Was I ever wrong. I quit smoking cold turkey and after a month I bought one of those home test kits and I was off the scale. A month later I was still off the scale. Ten weeks later I was still pissing hot so I investigated those drug test masks and found out right away that the labs will pick that up in a flash. And a lot of the labs will actually watch you as you piss to make sure you don't cheat. I became desperate because they wanted me to take a UA before my 90 days were up. Even though I had not smoked jack for almost 3 months I was still pissing hot. So I contacted some place I found on the web and they sent me a kit which they said would clean me up in 1 week. It consisted of two test tubes of this yucky tasting stuff which I assumed was some kind of laxative because is gave me the runs for 24 hours. Then there was these two bags of pills which they called cleansers but I think they were just the same herbs you find in those OTC detox kits. The plan also included directions to drink water, lots of water. And they also recommended to drink Cranberry juice. The regime called for 1 gallon of distilled water and 1 gallon of cranberry juice each day. Now I don't know if you've ever done this but trying to consume 2 gallons of liquid in day while you're awake, or in about 16 hours is not an easy thing to do. Forget that you could slam a bunch of it down at once, the plan called for distributing the 256 oz evenly over those 16 hours. And this means you're going to be pissing, and pissing a lot. 7 or 8 times an hour was what I ended up doing in that week. And while you're on the job working, that's not an easy thing. I again was lucky because being in management I had a desk job. I can only imagine what someone working in a factory would have had to deal with. And I was also lucky in that I worked up stairs away from most of the people who didn't notice me going to bathroom so often. And again, I was lucky in that I had access to two different bathrooms, one upstairs and one downstairs so again as to not attract unwanted attention to my behavior. After an entire week of consuming no less than 2 gallons per day I finally hit the point where I felt that I could test again. I went to the local head shop and tried to purchase one of their home testing kits. The clerk told me they were out of them and said there was some guy who'd been coming in regularly and bought up all they had. Little did he know that guy was probably me. I found another supplier for the test kit and the first test I did was finally clean. But mind you this was 90 days after I had stopped smoking cold turkey. I kept taking the fluids for one more day and tested again that weekend and was clean again. That following Monday I got the call and had to take a trip to the test lab and pee in the proverbial cup. I passed. Once I knew I had passed I went home and rolled up a big fat one and finally got the buzz I had been missing for the past 3 months. In the end, I think it was this crash course of consuming 2 gallons of fluids each day for 8 days which finally flushed my system out. I don't think the pills or the laxatives they gave me really helped much, more placebo than real effective treatment.
I've heard lots of people talk about how they can just smoke a little and it won't show up. Or others will say their vitamins keep them flushed out. I think that's all hog wash. THC is a fat soluble compound and your body stores it in your fat cells which means it hangs around for a very long time. While I may be no expert on it here is what I've learned over the years about keeping clean.
So I started to detox and thought okay this should take 2 maybe 3 weeks. Was I ever wrong. I quit smoking cold turkey and after a month I bought one of those home test kits and I was off the scale. A month later I was still off the scale. Ten weeks later I was still pissing hot so I investigated those drug test masks and found out right away that the labs will pick that up in a flash. And a lot of the labs will actually watch you as you piss to make sure you don't cheat. I became desperate because they wanted me to take a UA before my 90 days were up. Even though I had not smoked jack for almost 3 months I was still pissing hot. So I contacted some place I found on the web and they sent me a kit which they said would clean me up in 1 week. It consisted of two test tubes of this yucky tasting stuff which I assumed was some kind of laxative because is gave me the runs for 24 hours. Then there was these two bags of pills which they called cleansers but I think they were just the same herbs you find in those OTC detox kits. The plan also included directions to drink water, lots of water. And they also recommended to drink Cranberry juice. The regime called for 1 gallon of distilled water and 1 gallon of cranberry juice each day. Now I don't know if you've ever done this but trying to consume 2 gallons of liquid in day while you're awake, or in about 16 hours is not an easy thing to do. Forget that you could slam a bunch of it down at once, the plan called for distributing the 256 oz evenly over those 16 hours. And this means you're going to be pissing, and pissing a lot. 7 or 8 times an hour was what I ended up doing in that week. And while you're on the job working, that's not an easy thing. I again was lucky because being in management I had a desk job. I can only imagine what someone working in a factory would have had to deal with. And I was also lucky in that I worked up stairs away from most of the people who didn't notice me going to bathroom so often. And again, I was lucky in that I had access to two different bathrooms, one upstairs and one downstairs so again as to not attract unwanted attention to my behavior. After an entire week of consuming no less than 2 gallons per day I finally hit the point where I felt that I could test again. I went to the local head shop and tried to purchase one of their home testing kits. The clerk told me they were out of them and said there was some guy who'd been coming in regularly and bought up all they had. Little did he know that guy was probably me. I found another supplier for the test kit and the first test I did was finally clean. But mind you this was 90 days after I had stopped smoking cold turkey. I kept taking the fluids for one more day and tested again that weekend and was clean again. That following Monday I got the call and had to take a trip to the test lab and pee in the proverbial cup. I passed. Once I knew I had passed I went home and rolled up a big fat one and finally got the buzz I had been missing for the past 3 months. In the end, I think it was this crash course of consuming 2 gallons of fluids each day for 8 days which finally flushed my system out. I don't think the pills or the laxatives they gave me really helped much, more placebo than real effective treatment.
I've heard lots of people talk about how they can just smoke a little and it won't show up. Or others will say their vitamins keep them flushed out. I think that's all hog wash. THC is a fat soluble compound and your body stores it in your fat cells which means it hangs around for a very long time. While I may be no expert on it here is what I've learned over the years about keeping clean.
- If you're ever in a job when you can be tested randomly at anytime, then you must either give up smoking weed or give up your job. There is no way you can get cleaned in 24, 48 or even 72 hours if you've been smoking even lightly on a regular basis.
- If you have not smoked in a long time, like I often do, and then you take one, maybe two hits of some good smoke you will probably be alright if you are tested very shortly after that. If however, you take that 3rd or 4th hit you will almost certainly go over the limit and you'll piss hot for about the next week, maybe 2. And if you smoke several joints over the weekend with your friends, then you're going to piss hot for the next 3 weeks maybe even a month. You can of course do the crash thing with 2 gallons of fluids each day for a week and probably clean up.
- If you've been smoking, even lightly for an extended period of time, the fat cells in your body will store that THC for a very long time. And no amount of cleansing will get it all out unless you take the time to really flush your body out. Don't think this is a myth because it can cost you your job.
Fat cells generally die in 30 days but it depends on liver, kidney function and metabolism. There is no cleaner that will clean fat cells. You either wait for them to die off or you exercise to burn them off. This is also why its important to eat a high fiber diet while trying to get clean. 80% of your thc metabolites are secreted through the colon and if you don't keep thing moving the body can reabsorb these metabolites back into your blood stream and back into your fat cells where the process starts all over again.
