Into The West

Mercury Trismagistus

Active Member
The Existentialists were still clutching their bottles tightly as they lay in the doorways and gutters all up and down the boulevard. And the Nihilists were still roaming the savage streets of dawn looking for an angry fix. The Counselor tried to shake the sleep from his eyes. He stepped over a couple of Neo-Platonists who's Rave had burned out just before sunrise, the hallucinogens in their bloodstreams finally breaking up into their constituent elements. They had blast craters for eyes. It was pure cause and effect today, he thought. Classical Determinism all the way. He took the heater out of his shoulder holster and checked the power level. It was full up.

Glider was pretty handy at the controls of the Bell Jet Ranger. He had gotten a lot of practice in the war. Nobody could accuse him of being a Non-Conformist, that was for sure. The Counselor looked over the map and tried to figure out the best vector in. Because of all the blast debris, it was going to be a tricky business. He remained Stoic as he calculated the probabilities. There must be a method to this irrationality, he thought. He refused to give in to Pessimism.

"Set us down right in the middle of the Quad, Mr. G."

"Very good sir."

The Counselor jumped out of the helicopter and ran towards the Science Building, It had apparently been hit by some kind of heavy ordinance during the so-called "Proof of Good Faith" contest between the major world powers. The upper floors had totally collapsed, but he thought he could still make it in through the front entrance to get to the Chemistry Lab in the basement. As he got closer he thought he could detect a faint smell of Acetone. It looked like his hunch had paid off.

The Lab was an absolute wreck. Boxes of plant material were strewn randomly about, and the croaking from the Buffo Alvarius Toads was overwhelming. There were a number of dubious extraction processes going on and a man in a Lab Coat was slumped over in a chair at the far end. The Counselor personally felt that it was taking Relativism a bit too far.

"Long time no see, Mr. E."

The man in the Lab Coat jerked up with a start.

"Oh wow, man! I didn't see you there! How about a little Tempodex Mr. T.? It's just what the doctor ordered."

"Remember Seattle, Mr E.?"

"That wasn't my fault...man...the precursors were all messed up! Is it my fault if those damn Fundamentalists are jumping all over every shipment that comes across the border?"

"Denialism isn't going to cut it this time, Mr. E."

"Well I suppose you Rationalists can come up with something better?"

He saw the Heater in the Counselor's hand and they both started laughing,
The Counselor burned him down and collected the ashes in a small plastic bag.
He made his way back out to the waiting helicopter and Glider flung it back into the sky.
Yet, as he mixed Mr. E. in with the last of the Nepalese, he became thoughtful.

"Do you think we've taken Objective Realism too far Mr. G.?"

"That's a Value Theory sir."

Mr. G. was right of course the Counselor thought, as he rolled up a hefty number and passed it on over.

"How do you feel about Transcendentalism?"

Glider coughed and held the joint up in front of his eyes.

"It tastes like Strawberries!"

The Counselor grinned a big grin. Mr. G's Personalism got to him every time.

"Oh, and Mr. G....."

"Sir?"

"Thanks for flying."

Glider just smiled as he turned her into the West and chased the rays of the setting sun.

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