Pinch
Well-Known Member
Ever since I was three years old, I wanted to be inducted into the Countercultural Hall of Fame. It finally happened at this year's Cannabis Cup in Amsterdam, where I joined such luminaries as Bob Marley, Louis Armstrong, Mezz Mezzrow, Jack Kerouac, Neal Cassady, Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs and Ina May Gaskin, founder of the modern midwife movement.
The previous year's emcee was San Francisco stand-up comic Ngaio Bealum, whose parents were both in the Black Panther Party. "You know," he said, "when we were kids, we didn't have bongs. We just had to fill our mouths with water and suck real slowly." He described smoking pot while drinking coffee as "the poor man's speedball."
This year the emcee was stand-up comic Watermelon, who lives in Vancouver, where she sells marijuana-laced gingersnap cookies at a nude beach. She describes herself as "the only nudist, pot-dealing comedienne in the world." She presented me with a silver cup, a framed plaque and a three-foot-long bud of marijuana.
"That's for you to tickle your wife with," she said.
"Y'know, Watermelon, you have very nice pits," I said. "Somebody had to say that. Well, let's see, this cup will be great for keeping my stash in. This plaque will be great for rolling joints on. And this big giant bud, I'm sure that will get me through Customs without any problem."
Watermelon has just been acquitted of all charges relating to her arrest for selling gingersnap cookies laced with cannabis resin at, yes, Wreck Beach. The judge admitted having "reasonable doubt" due to the unquantifiable traces of cannabis in the cookies. Watermelon's attorney had argued that resin wasn't found in the cookies when examined by forensic experts–just cannabinoids–and she wasn't charged with possession of cannabinoids.
"I thought my cookies tasted good," Watermelon told me, "but victory tastes sweeter."
She plans to focus on extending her cookie brand and newfound legal expertise to the medical-marijuana market for patients who'd rather ingest than smoke.
Meanwhile, the Associated Press reports: "Treatment rates for marijuana nearly tripled between 1992 and 2002, the government says, attributing the increase to greater use and potency. 'This report is a wake-up call for parents that marijuana is not a soft drug,' said Tom Riley, a spokesman for the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.
'It's a much bigger part of the addiction problem than is generally understood.'"
He forgot to mention the reason so many young "addicts" have sought treatment for marijuana dependency: It's their only alternative to prison.
Source: New York Press
Copyright: ©2005 New York Press. All rights reserved.
Contact: Paul Krassner, NYPress 212-244-2282
Website: https://www.nypress.com/18/22/news&columns/paulkrassner2.cfm
The previous year's emcee was San Francisco stand-up comic Ngaio Bealum, whose parents were both in the Black Panther Party. "You know," he said, "when we were kids, we didn't have bongs. We just had to fill our mouths with water and suck real slowly." He described smoking pot while drinking coffee as "the poor man's speedball."
This year the emcee was stand-up comic Watermelon, who lives in Vancouver, where she sells marijuana-laced gingersnap cookies at a nude beach. She describes herself as "the only nudist, pot-dealing comedienne in the world." She presented me with a silver cup, a framed plaque and a three-foot-long bud of marijuana.
"That's for you to tickle your wife with," she said.
"Y'know, Watermelon, you have very nice pits," I said. "Somebody had to say that. Well, let's see, this cup will be great for keeping my stash in. This plaque will be great for rolling joints on. And this big giant bud, I'm sure that will get me through Customs without any problem."
Watermelon has just been acquitted of all charges relating to her arrest for selling gingersnap cookies laced with cannabis resin at, yes, Wreck Beach. The judge admitted having "reasonable doubt" due to the unquantifiable traces of cannabis in the cookies. Watermelon's attorney had argued that resin wasn't found in the cookies when examined by forensic experts–just cannabinoids–and she wasn't charged with possession of cannabinoids.
"I thought my cookies tasted good," Watermelon told me, "but victory tastes sweeter."
She plans to focus on extending her cookie brand and newfound legal expertise to the medical-marijuana market for patients who'd rather ingest than smoke.
Meanwhile, the Associated Press reports: "Treatment rates for marijuana nearly tripled between 1992 and 2002, the government says, attributing the increase to greater use and potency. 'This report is a wake-up call for parents that marijuana is not a soft drug,' said Tom Riley, a spokesman for the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy.
'It's a much bigger part of the addiction problem than is generally understood.'"
He forgot to mention the reason so many young "addicts" have sought treatment for marijuana dependency: It's their only alternative to prison.
Source: New York Press
Copyright: ©2005 New York Press. All rights reserved.
Contact: Paul Krassner, NYPress 212-244-2282
Website: https://www.nypress.com/18/22/news&columns/paulkrassner2.cfm
