Drug Test (Trip Report)

gmskunk

New Member
Just got offered a new job at a nice large, safe, profitable company (pretty much the exact opposite of my current job)...upon accepting, I was given 48 hrs to go get my pre-employment drug tes...even though I won't be starting for another 2 months. Luckily I'm black-market boy scout and conservative by nature and made preparations the day after the interview (just in case). So I ordered the "Micro Transporter Kit - Powdered" from UreaSample.com (a site sponsor) and it promptly arrived within 48 hrs in very discreet packaging.

mini-kit-freeze-dried-urine.gif

The instructions recommend (for males) attaching on your side up near the armpit area. But I did a bit of research and saw where some ppl noted that they had to lift their shirts (after emptying their pockets of course) before going into the bathroom to fill the cup. I just had a drug test 2 yrs ago and couldn't, for the life of me, remember if they made me lift my shirt...but better safe than sorry. So I jumped in the shower, shaved the top half of my right quad and proceeded with a trial run (using water).

The kit comes with 2 samples of powdered urine to which you add about 60ml (2oz or 1/4 cup) of water (per sample). This seemed like not enough and had me worried. So before going to sleep, I had decided I would just mix up both samples and fill the pouch just to be sure. The last thing I wanted to deal was the person telling me I hadn't produced enough urine and that I'd have to try again.

The next morning (day of the test) I awoke in a panic thinking that maybe there would be problems if each sample included was from a different donor. So I decided to mix a single serving and just add 10 extra ml's of water...figuring I had passed before with very diluted piss and this would be negligible. So I locked and loaded (wore jeans btw...highly recommended).

On the way to the testing facility, I stopped at a gas station to pee and check the temperature of the pee. There is a small strip that sticks to the bladder and gives a color coded reading...perfect 98 F!

When I arrive at the facility, it is empty and I don't have to wait. Good and bad. Good, because I didn't really want to wait around (not that sitting down was a problem), but I'd rather just get it over with. Bad, because of less background noise. When you think of the logistics, typically you pee a little in the toilet, pause, adjust your aim, and filler up, pause back to the toilet, finito. But this bladder barely holds enough for the fill line so there's really none to waste with the pee, stop, pee, stop, pee, finish. Whatever...she didn't seem to interested in listening to the noises coming from the bathroom...I really can't see how anyone could take this job that seriously unless you are talking about collegiate/pro sports.

So, after emptying my pockets, I'm told I can put everything back in except the chapstick. I enter the bathroom, turn, lock, pull both my weiner and the tip of the tube out. I pee out of my weiner into the toilet a bit, and pause. Next, I unclip the tube, and squeeze the bladder with my thighs (and then my left hand once the stream slows). I filled the cup past the temp strip just barely (god bless that extra 10ml). I then pee more into the toilet, put everything up, and exit the bathroom.

The technician takes the sample, fills a much smaller container with ~2/3rds of my entire sample. I initial, am handed some forms, and exit on cloud nine.

I took a picture of the rig when I got home...
ureasample.JPG

And now we wait...
:popcorn:
 
I passed!


This marks the end of me ever considering "getting clean"...at least until the testing rules change.
:theband:
 
good news dude, and awesome writeup, im sure this will be very beneficial for others needing to pass a test..

Who knows, i might be in the same boat soon as I'm going to be looking for a new job in a bit.
 
Yeah Weedpipe..... i think I would use staples before putting any duct tape that close to my groin.
 
side note: i would try using an ace bandage or at worst some blue painters tape ... :peace:
Yeah Weedpipe..... i think I would use staples before putting any duct tape that close to my groin.

one of the top fears was having the "device" come loose and start to slide down my leg. I'd use super glue before painters tape. Though, ace bandage isn't a bad idea at all.



in hindsight, attaching the bladder up near my arm pit would have been ideal...but I was really worried about having to lift my shirt. Having it that high would make dispensing wayyyy easier.
 
bottom line, you passed, i really dont care how u did it, you did it, and im very happy for you ...this thread is going to help out alot of people ... :peace:
 
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