I am always torn at this time of year. I like the holidays well enough I guess. It is a great time to spend with the family and I love the snow. When you have kids, you don't need an excuse to build a snowman or fort. We usually build a fort every year. When there is enough snow and room anyways. A couple of years we've even had wars with the neighbors, but we tend to move a lot, so it's not like a yearly thing.
This year we have about 1/2 acre to work with and all open space. Hopefully we get a good amount and can go crazy this year. Last year we made tunnels through the piles and had a whole network of caves. Benefit of living in the mountains is there's never a shortage of snow. Wish we would have had pics, but we didn't. We'll get some this year for sure though.
This will be the baby's first Christmas so that's always fun. He's the last and he's gonna be doted on something fierce. I have 4 girls and 3 boys now, so it's an expensive time in our house. Last year we were in a situation where we could spend more so they had a grand experience last year. Ended up being about $400 per kid by the end of it all.
This year we are scaling back considerably. It's funny how the wife still manages to get that little bit xtra. I tell her $100 per, no more cause I know full and well she'll work it up to like $110 - $115. Then that turns into $125 anyways, so I have to aim low just to make up for her crazy Christmas math.
It's not that I don't want to give them gifts or anything. I love to give gifts. I HATE to receive gifts and that goes back to things when I was younger. It was never freely given, their was always a price. And it was always used as a tool to manipulate, and I just never got rid of that feeling I guess. I just want them to understand that Christmas is not about the presents and Santa.
I am not an overly religious person. I don't go to church, I don't read my Bible daily, and I seldom even pray. I am very firm in my faith however. I also have a hard time lying or being dishonest. Yeah, right, you're an ex-con!!! Well, prison forces to do one of 2 things. Either embrace the life that put you there or get out and never look back. I chose the latter.
So, here's where I have issue. I do not lie to my kids. If they ask me something, I tell them the truth. I may gentle it up a bit, but otherwise they get truth, no matter how harsh. Lead by example and all that. The younger ones still occasionally lie about little stuff, but the older ones know better than to lie to me. It's way better to come clean, than to have to maintain the lie. I am usually fairly lenient if they tell the truth. They may get in trouble, but it's over and done with when the punishment is. I've been known to make punishments last months if they lie. And the longer it takes them to come clean, the more I turn the screws. The video games were locked up for almost a year because the oldest thought he would try to outsmart me. By the time he got it back, all the games were old and new versions were out. Not my problem.
Okay, so back to the Christmas thing. I don't like lying to my kids. And every year,we do the whole Santa thing. Same with Easter and the Tooth Fairy. I just don't feel the need to lie about some fake being to justify the celebrating of a holiday. The truth works just as well. We celebrate Easter to honor and remember the death of Jesus. The gifts are our way of saying thank you for your sacrifice. Same for Christmas, we give gifts to celebrate his birth just like you would any time a baby is born. You don't have to go all Bible thumper, Baptist revival or anything, but give due respect to the right character. I don't want them to have that entitlement mentality that I see in a lot of kids.
The wife will tell me about Christmas growing up in her house and I am in shock. $1000 Christmases and birthdays. I would have crapped myself if I ever woke up to that on Christmas morning. Not that I wouldn't love to shower my kids with gifts, but it's just stuff in the end. Even had I the money, I would never be so indulgent. Last year was a fluke only because we had been homeless and a bit of a tough year for the kids, so we tried to make it up with material things. Still not completely forgiven myself on that one, but the looks on their faces was worth it.
Maybe it's cause I never had big Christmases growing up. After 14, I didn't celebrate really. Sure the foster families would try, but how many pairs of gloves can you use in a year, really? I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I could always tell when I was the third wheel or not really wanted. Always been able to read people very fast. One of the reasons I have few friends I guess. I hate fake. Even a little.
The wife and I debate this heavily every year, and every year I concede. I don't want them to suffer like I did, but am I punishing them for something that is mine to deal with? I don't know. The wife says she understands, but I don't think she really does. Not sure I do. I love the giving part. I just wish we could translate into all year long. The goodwill and fellowship is so amazing during the holidays. And then January 3rd hits and people turn into selfish dicks. I want my kids to understand and really appreciate the meanings of what we do and why we do it.
Maybe I'm just a hard ass. Maybe I'm totally cuckoo. Wouldn't be the first time and not likely to be the last. I guess the biggest thing is worrying you're raising responsible little humans instead of ungrateful little shitheads. I'm sure all parents feel the same way. Well, maybe not all, but the good ones do. Having been alone the majority of my life, I guess I feel the bond of family more now and cherish it wholeheartedly. I never want to disappoint my kids and I feel when the time comes for them to learn the truth, they are going to hate and call me a hypocrite. The oldest is past the myth and he already has called me on it. "So you lied to me, huh Dad? I thought you said you never lie?" How do you respond to that? I did it so you could enjoy Christmas more? Or so you knew where that dollar for your tooth came form? I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking it.
This year we have about 1/2 acre to work with and all open space. Hopefully we get a good amount and can go crazy this year. Last year we made tunnels through the piles and had a whole network of caves. Benefit of living in the mountains is there's never a shortage of snow. Wish we would have had pics, but we didn't. We'll get some this year for sure though.
This will be the baby's first Christmas so that's always fun. He's the last and he's gonna be doted on something fierce. I have 4 girls and 3 boys now, so it's an expensive time in our house. Last year we were in a situation where we could spend more so they had a grand experience last year. Ended up being about $400 per kid by the end of it all.
This year we are scaling back considerably. It's funny how the wife still manages to get that little bit xtra. I tell her $100 per, no more cause I know full and well she'll work it up to like $110 - $115. Then that turns into $125 anyways, so I have to aim low just to make up for her crazy Christmas math.
It's not that I don't want to give them gifts or anything. I love to give gifts. I HATE to receive gifts and that goes back to things when I was younger. It was never freely given, their was always a price. And it was always used as a tool to manipulate, and I just never got rid of that feeling I guess. I just want them to understand that Christmas is not about the presents and Santa.
I am not an overly religious person. I don't go to church, I don't read my Bible daily, and I seldom even pray. I am very firm in my faith however. I also have a hard time lying or being dishonest. Yeah, right, you're an ex-con!!! Well, prison forces to do one of 2 things. Either embrace the life that put you there or get out and never look back. I chose the latter.
So, here's where I have issue. I do not lie to my kids. If they ask me something, I tell them the truth. I may gentle it up a bit, but otherwise they get truth, no matter how harsh. Lead by example and all that. The younger ones still occasionally lie about little stuff, but the older ones know better than to lie to me. It's way better to come clean, than to have to maintain the lie. I am usually fairly lenient if they tell the truth. They may get in trouble, but it's over and done with when the punishment is. I've been known to make punishments last months if they lie. And the longer it takes them to come clean, the more I turn the screws. The video games were locked up for almost a year because the oldest thought he would try to outsmart me. By the time he got it back, all the games were old and new versions were out. Not my problem.
Okay, so back to the Christmas thing. I don't like lying to my kids. And every year,we do the whole Santa thing. Same with Easter and the Tooth Fairy. I just don't feel the need to lie about some fake being to justify the celebrating of a holiday. The truth works just as well. We celebrate Easter to honor and remember the death of Jesus. The gifts are our way of saying thank you for your sacrifice. Same for Christmas, we give gifts to celebrate his birth just like you would any time a baby is born. You don't have to go all Bible thumper, Baptist revival or anything, but give due respect to the right character. I don't want them to have that entitlement mentality that I see in a lot of kids.
The wife will tell me about Christmas growing up in her house and I am in shock. $1000 Christmases and birthdays. I would have crapped myself if I ever woke up to that on Christmas morning. Not that I wouldn't love to shower my kids with gifts, but it's just stuff in the end. Even had I the money, I would never be so indulgent. Last year was a fluke only because we had been homeless and a bit of a tough year for the kids, so we tried to make it up with material things. Still not completely forgiven myself on that one, but the looks on their faces was worth it.
Maybe it's cause I never had big Christmases growing up. After 14, I didn't celebrate really. Sure the foster families would try, but how many pairs of gloves can you use in a year, really? I don't want to sound ungrateful, but I could always tell when I was the third wheel or not really wanted. Always been able to read people very fast. One of the reasons I have few friends I guess. I hate fake. Even a little.
The wife and I debate this heavily every year, and every year I concede. I don't want them to suffer like I did, but am I punishing them for something that is mine to deal with? I don't know. The wife says she understands, but I don't think she really does. Not sure I do. I love the giving part. I just wish we could translate into all year long. The goodwill and fellowship is so amazing during the holidays. And then January 3rd hits and people turn into selfish dicks. I want my kids to understand and really appreciate the meanings of what we do and why we do it.
Maybe I'm just a hard ass. Maybe I'm totally cuckoo. Wouldn't be the first time and not likely to be the last. I guess the biggest thing is worrying you're raising responsible little humans instead of ungrateful little shitheads. I'm sure all parents feel the same way. Well, maybe not all, but the good ones do. Having been alone the majority of my life, I guess I feel the bond of family more now and cherish it wholeheartedly. I never want to disappoint my kids and I feel when the time comes for them to learn the truth, they are going to hate and call me a hypocrite. The oldest is past the myth and he already has called me on it. "So you lied to me, huh Dad? I thought you said you never lie?" How do you respond to that? I did it so you could enjoy Christmas more? Or so you knew where that dollar for your tooth came form? I don't know, maybe I'm over thinking it.
