So I guess I'm gonna try the blog thing again? Have tried in the past and never really seem to keep it going. Usually get bored after the second or third post, but let's see what happens, huh?
So I guess I should have an overall theme to it. Not really sure what so i'll just use it as a place to share more about myself and my interests. I see some journals that are more personal info and stories than actual relevant growing info. Not that those journals are any less entertaining or informative, it's just the Virgo in me. Tends to make me
Yeah, I'm one of those guys. Not super into it anymore, but I still find instances where it parallels my life. Besides, we studied the stars long before we did much anything else, and it harkens back to a simpler time. At least for me anyways.
I am probably what you would call a very eclectic person. I like all kinds of kinds. I am up for trying anything once. Usually the things I like, I excel at. The things that don't interest me, just haven't gotten their turn yet I guess. I like to be well rounded and knowledgeable in a lot of things. It tends to serve me well on most occasions. Especially the common sense aspect of most things that can apply to most other things. That probably made no sense and if I tried to explain it I would probably make it worse. Let's just say I like what I like and the rest is not my concern.
I don't want this to turn into just a rant about how awesome I think I am or anything like that. I don't want it to be just a place for me to piss and moan or make grand political statements. I do have strong feelings about a lot of things like most people, but I never try to make my opinion someone else's. And I sure as hell never let anyone else's opinion be mine. To much anymore, I think it's just about showing this false front so you can get to 100,000 likes or more views for your Youtube channel. I say this knowing full well, I have my own Youtube, Twitch, FB, Twitter and the list goes on. I just think too many people have forgotten, or worse never learned, what physical interaction is really about. I see this going off topic too far so I'll stop there, but you will not find cookie cutter bullshit here.
So what else? I wish I was interesting or something...lol. I have a bunch of kids and am married. I hardly leave the house and don't really talk to a lot of people. I have 100's of friends on FB and shit, but I haven't physically spoken to 99% of them in years if ever. I really don't get along with people. I'm a nice enough guy and I can talk to anyone, but I just don't really have that much in common with most people. I'm a weird hodgepodge of awesomeness if I'm anything.
I grew up in a small town in the middle of the woods on a river. I spent a lot of my childhood outdoors and was always into doing whatever. Didn't look for trouble, but I didn't exactly avoid it either. Did very well in school and was always top of the class. Until later, I just kind of quit going. Had some issues at home and it was hard for a long few years. Ended up leaving home around 13 initially and then at 14 left for good. Stayed with friends and some foster families, but never really found my place.
Ended up making some bad decisions as expected and ended up in prison for 2 years just after turning 18. I paid for that mistake a thousand times over and still do to this day. Haven't been back and only an arrest or for being too drunk once which was dropped anyways. i'm not criminally minded or out to steal peoples daughters, but it's funny watching people react when they find out. I thought my first wife's mother was going to have a heart attack when she found out. I've been married 3 times btw. I insisted on telling her family before we got married and I almost ended up single over it. Well, she was 1 of 3 so I moved on, but not before having 2 kids with her. I still see them and talk, but not near as much as I should.
So, for the second wife, we kept it a secret and I think it was a big reason for her being 2 of 3. That and the meth and the drinking. Secrets are never good and especially when ur married. My parents have been together for 30+ years now and are still not married. He's not my biological father, but that asshole never showed up, so his loss. I consider him my dad no matter what. Although we don't talk a lot anymore. One of the bad things about sobriety isn't how you change, but how others can't accept that change. But once again, his loss. I tend to have a thick skin when it comes to family I guess. Except my kids and wife.
I don't know if it's the same for other parents, but all I have to do is think about my kids and I lose it. I can go from mad to happy, sad to ecstatic in an instant with just a single thought. They have brought so much joy into my life. I know I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for wife #3. She has dealt with more of my shit than I even remember. No really!!! Back when I was drinking, there are literally weeks I don't remember. Trips we took, people we met. Gone, not a fucking clue!! Not proud of myself, but she held shit together when I was a complete failure at life. She was there to pick me back up time and time again. She never saw the meth years, but she endured. She still endures.
Most recently has been my back issues. Not really sure what exactly the problem is, but it degenerative and it's not getting better with treatment or surgery. In fact it seems to be picking up speed. And I say recently, but in actuality, it's been about a 12 year process. Lately though it goes out at about once a month to where I'm bedridden for a few days even with pain meds. Last images show the degeneration had moved from the L4/S1(tailbone) to the T1/C7 area. It's already fused from L4 to S1 and if it is as bad as the image suggests, it could be very immobilizing if they have to fuse it up higher. Generally, they would have to fuse the entire area from the tailbone up because of the stress it would put on the remaining areas. Or some shit like that. After the last failure, I'm not too keen on another surgery.
So, it's a lot of doing very little or having help with almost everything. And for someone who has been independent since they were 13, that's a very hard thing to process. I use a 3/4 crutch to get around on most outings, which are few and far between. The hardest part is being a 35 yr. old dad and not being able to play with my kids like the other dads. I did get to coach one of my daughters in soccer this past summer, but it required me to take more meds so I was actually glad when it ended, but torn because I had so much fun with her. At least I got to do one year and give her some really great memories. Maybe next year we'll see, but with me going completely no meds, I doubt that. I hung plastic on the windows the other day and it took 2 days to feel my right leg again. One of the bad sides of meds is you don't feel the pain, but you also don't feel when you've pushed to hard.
So I don't even know how long this is getting, but I feel it's time to end it for now. I will not be always talking about myself. I will be sharing a lot of the things I find relaxing or entertaining. I am a nerd through and through. Wouldn't know it to look at me, but yeah, such a geek. I look more like neanderthal man, but I love comics, gaming, collecting, Star Trek, Star Wars, and anything else having anything to do with that subculture. Dungeons and Dragons? Yep? Hell, I even used to L.A.R.P. For those of you that don't know what that is Google it. It's so much fun!! Think CosPlay, but quests and real life encounters...mind=BLOWN!!!!
Alright, on that note, I'm out and will catch you all the flip side. Peace out and keep smokin'!!!
~K~
So I guess I should have an overall theme to it. Not really sure what so i'll just use it as a place to share more about myself and my interests. I see some journals that are more personal info and stories than actual relevant growing info. Not that those journals are any less entertaining or informative, it's just the Virgo in me. Tends to make me
Yeah, I'm one of those guys. Not super into it anymore, but I still find instances where it parallels my life. Besides, we studied the stars long before we did much anything else, and it harkens back to a simpler time. At least for me anyways.
I am probably what you would call a very eclectic person. I like all kinds of kinds. I am up for trying anything once. Usually the things I like, I excel at. The things that don't interest me, just haven't gotten their turn yet I guess. I like to be well rounded and knowledgeable in a lot of things. It tends to serve me well on most occasions. Especially the common sense aspect of most things that can apply to most other things. That probably made no sense and if I tried to explain it I would probably make it worse. Let's just say I like what I like and the rest is not my concern.
I don't want this to turn into just a rant about how awesome I think I am or anything like that. I don't want it to be just a place for me to piss and moan or make grand political statements. I do have strong feelings about a lot of things like most people, but I never try to make my opinion someone else's. And I sure as hell never let anyone else's opinion be mine. To much anymore, I think it's just about showing this false front so you can get to 100,000 likes or more views for your Youtube channel. I say this knowing full well, I have my own Youtube, Twitch, FB, Twitter and the list goes on. I just think too many people have forgotten, or worse never learned, what physical interaction is really about. I see this going off topic too far so I'll stop there, but you will not find cookie cutter bullshit here.
So what else? I wish I was interesting or something...lol. I have a bunch of kids and am married. I hardly leave the house and don't really talk to a lot of people. I have 100's of friends on FB and shit, but I haven't physically spoken to 99% of them in years if ever. I really don't get along with people. I'm a nice enough guy and I can talk to anyone, but I just don't really have that much in common with most people. I'm a weird hodgepodge of awesomeness if I'm anything.
I grew up in a small town in the middle of the woods on a river. I spent a lot of my childhood outdoors and was always into doing whatever. Didn't look for trouble, but I didn't exactly avoid it either. Did very well in school and was always top of the class. Until later, I just kind of quit going. Had some issues at home and it was hard for a long few years. Ended up leaving home around 13 initially and then at 14 left for good. Stayed with friends and some foster families, but never really found my place.
Ended up making some bad decisions as expected and ended up in prison for 2 years just after turning 18. I paid for that mistake a thousand times over and still do to this day. Haven't been back and only an arrest or for being too drunk once which was dropped anyways. i'm not criminally minded or out to steal peoples daughters, but it's funny watching people react when they find out. I thought my first wife's mother was going to have a heart attack when she found out. I've been married 3 times btw. I insisted on telling her family before we got married and I almost ended up single over it. Well, she was 1 of 3 so I moved on, but not before having 2 kids with her. I still see them and talk, but not near as much as I should.
So, for the second wife, we kept it a secret and I think it was a big reason for her being 2 of 3. That and the meth and the drinking. Secrets are never good and especially when ur married. My parents have been together for 30+ years now and are still not married. He's not my biological father, but that asshole never showed up, so his loss. I consider him my dad no matter what. Although we don't talk a lot anymore. One of the bad things about sobriety isn't how you change, but how others can't accept that change. But once again, his loss. I tend to have a thick skin when it comes to family I guess. Except my kids and wife.
I don't know if it's the same for other parents, but all I have to do is think about my kids and I lose it. I can go from mad to happy, sad to ecstatic in an instant with just a single thought. They have brought so much joy into my life. I know I wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for wife #3. She has dealt with more of my shit than I even remember. No really!!! Back when I was drinking, there are literally weeks I don't remember. Trips we took, people we met. Gone, not a fucking clue!! Not proud of myself, but she held shit together when I was a complete failure at life. She was there to pick me back up time and time again. She never saw the meth years, but she endured. She still endures.
Most recently has been my back issues. Not really sure what exactly the problem is, but it degenerative and it's not getting better with treatment or surgery. In fact it seems to be picking up speed. And I say recently, but in actuality, it's been about a 12 year process. Lately though it goes out at about once a month to where I'm bedridden for a few days even with pain meds. Last images show the degeneration had moved from the L4/S1(tailbone) to the T1/C7 area. It's already fused from L4 to S1 and if it is as bad as the image suggests, it could be very immobilizing if they have to fuse it up higher. Generally, they would have to fuse the entire area from the tailbone up because of the stress it would put on the remaining areas. Or some shit like that. After the last failure, I'm not too keen on another surgery.
So, it's a lot of doing very little or having help with almost everything. And for someone who has been independent since they were 13, that's a very hard thing to process. I use a 3/4 crutch to get around on most outings, which are few and far between. The hardest part is being a 35 yr. old dad and not being able to play with my kids like the other dads. I did get to coach one of my daughters in soccer this past summer, but it required me to take more meds so I was actually glad when it ended, but torn because I had so much fun with her. At least I got to do one year and give her some really great memories. Maybe next year we'll see, but with me going completely no meds, I doubt that. I hung plastic on the windows the other day and it took 2 days to feel my right leg again. One of the bad sides of meds is you don't feel the pain, but you also don't feel when you've pushed to hard.
So I don't even know how long this is getting, but I feel it's time to end it for now. I will not be always talking about myself. I will be sharing a lot of the things I find relaxing or entertaining. I am a nerd through and through. Wouldn't know it to look at me, but yeah, such a geek. I look more like neanderthal man, but I love comics, gaming, collecting, Star Trek, Star Wars, and anything else having anything to do with that subculture. Dungeons and Dragons? Yep? Hell, I even used to L.A.R.P. For those of you that don't know what that is Google it. It's so much fun!! Think CosPlay, but quests and real life encounters...mind=BLOWN!!!!
Alright, on that note, I'm out and will catch you all the flip side. Peace out and keep smokin'!!!
~K~
