The Best Tip Ever

Spimp;1877326 said:

AfricanGrower;1876682 said:

What's up Bruncle

I had to bring up a previous post two pages back...too funny



...and so the story began...

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AfricanGrower;1876701 said:

2 PICTURES ARE WORTH...29 WORDS

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Ricorico;1876842 said:

and reps! surely a rep is worth 971 words, dear bruncle?

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The Best Tip Ever
a short story by Spimp


When I was younger I delivered pizza while in hgih school during the summers. I lived in a Resort type area with lots of water and boating so Vacation homes were common. I often delivered to people who were so hammered drunk that the Tip was quite nice. 8 beers in ten bucks doesnt seem like much.
One holiday weekend I was called to deliver to a Vacation home area and in normal fashion, picked up the pizza and whatnot and started on my way. This was a typical order, 2 pizzas, soda, whatever.
When I got to the house I already had a bad attitude because my poor ass was delivering to the 'rich prick' with a private beach. Not a mansion but a 2500 sq ft nice place.
I rang the door bell and a really normal middle looking middl aged man answered. He was drunk off his azz. He stumbled around looking for his wallet, counted out the money, had this friend count out the money, then came over to me.
"Do you Smoke?"
"Um... ya."
"Well I dont have any cash for a tip. Here's a couple J's. When you get off work you should bring some friends out and drink with us".
"..ok cool..."

And I turned and left.
I never really thought about his offer when he asked. I was too excited about the free Buzz I just got for a tip. Kids prorities.
When I got back to work I showed my buddy the J's and he instantly focused on the 'going out there' part of the story. We made a few calls and got the Brain Trust to meet up at 10 when we closed.
The first thing we decided was theat ths kind of descion must be made after smoking said two joints. It was pretty good and we all got pretty baked and motivated. We jumped in the Spimp-mobile and we where off. By now its 1130 by the way. Five seven-teen year olds looking to storm in on a rich dudes party and smoke his grass and take his ladies. Amazing how bullproof we can feel at times.
Surprisingly when we arrived all the lights were on and the music was blaring. It looked as though a few other cars were there now as well.
Its Party time. I attempted to Knock but rich guy opened and gave me the full "Long Lost Friend Hug" while bursting into laughter. He pulls me into the house with my friends in tow, and slams the door behind us. There must have been 30 people there. It was hard to tell because now the aroma and smoke where thick enough to encompass you. I felt like I was in a Chong Movie. Unreal.
Every person was either passing, toking or rolling the chron. My buddies had the craziest Perma Grin you have ever seen. Im laughing right now thinking of it. We basically 'scrambled' and all fell into the rotation and joined into the biggest indoor circle smoke ive ever been a part of. Then right in the middle the Host (graduated from rich prick by now) starts pouring the Shots. Aftershock and Avalanche. Ill never forget. We all matched him 5 shots to 5 shots. I dotn know how he was upright. But he was still the life ofthe party.
By now some people had left but still twenty or so were throwing down.
All of a sudden the Host decides the best idea of his life is to Take out his houseboat at 3:45am. As High as I was, I knew this was a horrible idea. But being a teenager, I also know there was no way he would listen to me. All the drunk ladies basically started getting excited and people started filtering out the back towards the beach. I called a meeting of the Brain Trust. We didnt have all night parental imunity. We were seventeen. I decided it was best to go.
Mr Host was one of the last people in the home and he came to speak to us.
"Listen, Here's some pot to smoke til we get back. Im trying to go get naked out here with these b$tches and Im pretty sure you arent 18"
He hands me a ounce and stumbles out the door.
We sat down and twisted one up to smoke on the way home and divided up the sack. We were the only people in the house. It was sureal. As I was walking out I could hear the party out on the beach behind the home. I left and Never talked to that guy again. He never ordered from us while I was there, and when i drove by the house it was empty and desolate.
I imagine him as an unkown rocker or sports star I wasnt familiar with. Or I caught a normal guy on his bes day ever.

The story hasnt been told my me in a long time. And my friends from then have long parted company and it has been a decade since Ive seen one of them.
But we will always have that memory and story. Ill never forget The Best Tip Ever.


Maybe not 971 words but close enough. +reps to African Grower for the Art. +reps to Rico for the inspiration.

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