Why Does my life suck some times?

Well you know what. I use my grow journal to talk about weed, so unless 420, soniq 420girl or any of the other Cali admins (who are tottaly rad thank you for doing the jobs you do) Say It isn't cool and delete this, then I would like to use this place to vent. Expecially like a day like today. I mean Im not too sure but the impression I have of a blog is a place where people come to rant get off topic and just go on chain-Tangent-binges? Maybe Im getting close? Well if im not who cares I guess thats what i'll use it for. So yeah in like the last week i've gotten ALOT of people pissed at me like..ALL AT ONCE! LIKE A GOOD 25 PEOPLE HATE ME NOW! But they are all people I hate..But thats fucked up. see I have so much hate in my life...STILL..TO THIS DAY..I always say or write shit like "oh I better work on that or IM GOING TO START WORKING ON THAT TODAY dahhh-dun dun dahhh! NOTT!!!!! Its the same exact sick little spiral mind game my mind plays when I attempt to quit smoking it goes something like this "Lungs start to get gunky feel sick and gross its time to quit smoking! I have a strong resolution I throw away ash trays half packs of cigarettes anything that I feel will silitify this pact to myself I WILL DO! So I get what a day, maybe 2 with the patch or gum without a smoke if im lucky and by that 2nd day im hurting and im like fuck dude my lungs feel good and all i need after that awesome meal is one cigarette! I got this" and of coarse you have to buy a pack you can never buy one cigarette, atleast not legally in this country and btw people don't bum cigs like they used to because no one smokes anymore.except me. fuck.
Anyways so yeah One smoke turns into a pack and the next thing you know its like that little resolve never happened I re buy the ash trays the cigarettes the whatever. And the gross cycle restarts. And thats how It works whenever I try to change my life style weather its being more hygenic, more physical, friendlier funnier better whatever, I always do the loup and swoop and give up. But ya know what atleast I keep trying?

Ok so yeah about these people that hate me. It all started like 4 nights ago Iwaws hgh and yeah.

hydro out.
:Namaste:

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Hydrologist
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