...I am a 36 yr old female, married for 15 yrs this year. My dear hubby decided that life sucks (he was a business owner) so started smoking up summer of 2005. He told me it was because of the situation so we closed business, moved into a nice house with our 8 yr old son and started a new life. Guess what? Pot is still prevalent in my house. He told me it would be a 'rarity'. He has admitted that if he hasn't had it by the fourth day he's thinking about it every 2 hours. I love my husband. This is new to us. We didn't do it in highschool or anything. It's his "time" I guess. Anyways, it's changed the dynamics of our marriage cuase I am trying to understand it and I love him so much. I have tried to research it and by no means am I a "goody goody" girl. I smoke it on the weekends but I don't need it everyday. He needs it every day. Not a whole joint but at least a couple of puffs. Should I worry? HE's 35. He says it's a phase. How many 35 yr olds start smoking pot now? Anyhow, I know you can't die from it, I do like how it's gone after a couple of hours unlike alcohol. But because it's new in our lives, I feel I am a failure and that's why he has to smoke it. I know he loves me and he smokes probably a lot less than most people. What do you all say? I don't know enough about it to analyze it to death. I am so insecure in the first time of our 15 yr marriage because this is unchartered territory for me and for him. Any thoughts or help out there? I am not sure what I'm asking or looking for, just some thoughts I guess. It's all new to me. Thanks for anyone out there who can help put things in perspective for me.
okay, this may be weird but...
- Thread starter jubster
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stonedclown
New Member
he probaly smokes just to chill out and relax like alot of pepole do
kmthking420x
New Member
Well I doubt it cause he thinks your a failure, i mean its just extremly fun and much better than drinking alcohol like you mentioned.no hangovers or anything i would suggest you 2 join in it together and maybe try to do it onloy on weekends.peace
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- #4
yeah, I'd like to be open minded and do it on weekends but the reality is he can't go the week without having it. He says he'd like to get there - he enjoys doing it with me on the weekends and would like to do that only but I think he's addicted - he says what he wants to do but doesn't do what he says. Should I worry that he's a big addict? I don't think it's too bad but I don't know enough to judge.
I wouldnt worry too much about your husband not being able to say no to a couple puffs a day off a Joint.Everyone who smokes finds it at a differnt age and if it isnt causing legal,financial or marital trouble then just let it be and ride with it.Weed has so much to offer with very little side effect if any.I would much rather see someone smokin a joint then taking a drink and alchohol is legal.Hope it helps,take a puff and just relax
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- #7
Stoobie
New Member
hes probably just stressed out and needs a way to unwind. It may seem like he is addicted to it, but if he really wanted to he could stop and only smoke on the weekends, so dont worry about a big addiction problem. If I know i have weed on me, its hard to wait until the weekend to smoke it. I am pretty sure you are not the reason he is smoking lol, you have been married for 15 years and all of a sudden he starts smoking because of you? I dont think so. Weed is just a nice way to chill after a hard day at work or school. hope this helps a little
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- #9
yeah, I've tried it and can't say I haven't liked it. I just worry sometimes that if I start to do it as much as him I look like the hypocrite since I harp on him when I think he's doing it too much. But, the more I learn the more I see it's not the end of the world OR the worse thing to happen. I know he likes it when I smoke with him and I do like it just not all the time. It's hard because I don't smoke and it kinda burns my throat. Anyhow, thanks for your input, my mind is a bit more at ease.
Marianne
New Member
I've been married for 3 years, and have had things like this happen to me. Please don't take what he's doing personally. It'll probably stress him out more. I've had a stressful year with my mom dying and other horrible things to top it off, and went from being a weekend toker to an everyday smoker. It has nothing to do with my husband other than it took me a long time to get him to understand that. I love him and he's been very supportive and I know without him it would have been much harder to get through this difficult time. But smoking is a personal thing for me. I just like it-it brightens my day a little bit more on top of how much he already brightens it, and it sounds like your husband feels the same way about you. Relax and enjoy your new home, your beautiful son and your husband who obviously loves you very much, and please let him know you don't mind if he smokes. Let him do it without guilt, without shame, because it's nothing to be ashamed of. Good luck with everything.
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- #11
You're right, it's probably not me but if I keep letting my insecurities get the better of me it will be me. Life changes that have happened to us is that he owned a store and started smoking when it got to be too much. After a couple of years the stress was taking it's toll, the people who hung out smoked, and because the store was where we lived, there was no getting away from it - I did cause I had an outside job. But we closed it and moved and I thought things would die down which they did (he's not smoking to get high everyday) but the location was just an excuse - i guess I need to lighten up and just let go and enjoy it too - we got into a fight last night and I don't know if we're okay. I hope so. He's annoyed at the way I acted which he thinks is always mad at him for smoking cause I usually am but haven't been lately so he's paranoid. He says I love you but he's clearly pissed off - never had major fights in our entire marriage and not sure if this is good or bad. Want some stuff for tonight but not sure how to ask him to get it since "I'm usually against it"
Marianne
New Member
I'm sorry you guys had a fight. If it was me I would tell him I've been doing some serious thinking and I realized this wasn't worth fighting over and I'm going to try really hard to lighten up. That's where I would bring in wanting to smoke with him. It may shock him, but it should be a good shock. Good luck!
snugglefunked
New Member
my friend's grandfather... 83... started smoking weed just a few months ago... for the first time ever... it's never too late...
SmokinDame13
New Member
OK here goes....I'm 27 and I have smoked Marijuana for, just over a decade....I have 2 wonderfully hyper girls....AFTER all the---ma whats this and mom whats that?,whats this ma?, why ma?,fighting-yelling-tatteling...sooo MUCH it makes my head spin....AND then ON top of that I have.....my man,my sister,Mad Maxx,Falcor AND work......I have never smoked pot because I have felt that someone I love has failed me!!!! I just smoke to ease the stress' of the day....AND BELIEVE ME there are MANY.......and if you wondering how much I smoke a day......Well, my man got me this new bong for V-day....and I smoke 2 a day...............
I don't think it matters how old you are....just as long as you smoke it with good times in mind.....JUST CHILL'
I don't think it matters how old you are....just as long as you smoke it with good times in mind.....JUST CHILL'
harrydirty
New Member
15 years 1 fight...not too many can say that. you guys r obviously good together. smoking together can be nice; especially after a long day, in bed..yaknow.
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- #16
Yeah, I guess you're right. There are alot of positives in our lives. It's just because things have all of a sudden started down a different direction that I jump to conclusions about US - he likes to spend some evenings with his friends which I am learning to accept again - he's stuck in the house all day (starting up a new business) and by evening time he's stir crazy - I just came home from work so I just want to chill with him and he wants to go out - but I can't go with him because we have an 8 yr old at home. Maybe that's part of it too - maybe it's a bit of jealousy on my part of wanting to go with him - I trust him - it's not like he's going to a bar or something. He's just chilling with his pal and smoking a little.
I guess what I want to know is, does smoking it alter you're thinking in any way or just relax you? I find it just relaxes me but I want to know if he says things while smoking will he remember? It's not like booze, right? Smoking won't make him say things he doesn't mean will it? Is he just the same person only relaxed? Sorry for the 20,000 questions, thanks for all your support. I figure if anyone knows the answers it has to be those that do it. Have a great day.
I guess what I want to know is, does smoking it alter you're thinking in any way or just relax you? I find it just relaxes me but I want to know if he says things while smoking will he remember? It's not like booze, right? Smoking won't make him say things he doesn't mean will it? Is he just the same person only relaxed? Sorry for the 20,000 questions, thanks for all your support. I figure if anyone knows the answers it has to be those that do it. Have a great day.
Buds4Breakfast
New Member
if u havnt yet, both of u get high and hump like rabbits, itll be great
as to all those questions about how weed affects you, try it and find out.
unless hes ripped outta his mind he will remember what he says, and not say things he doesnt mean, but like alcohol too much will get you fucked up, which isnt necessary a bad thing, being fucked up is fun too
as to all those questions about how weed affects you, try it and find out.
unless hes ripped outta his mind he will remember what he says, and not say things he doesnt mean, but like alcohol too much will get you fucked up, which isnt necessary a bad thing, being fucked up is fun too
SmokinDame13
New Member
NOT ONCE have I gotten soooooo stoned that I didn't remember what I did the next day....with alcohol....ALL the time......I prefer to toke because I can be around my girls...Actually I think it's better 'cuz I'm able to devote 100% of myself....All the other stupid shit thats constantly running through my head on a daily basis, DOESN'T matter.......As for your man....I really wouldn't worry......keep the faith...Marijuana is NOT a bad drug.....BETTER then those fuking pills...OK anyways totally off the subject......I deffinately think that you should see if you could get a sitter once a week,month,whatever and go out with your man....have a ROCKIN time and have fun......EVERYONE needs it!!!!! GOOD LUCK and smoke the reefers.......'
J842P
New Member
Whoah, I have to hear about this. Elaborate.snugglefunked said:
Anyway, I think you should be careful if he is using it as a crutch. That can always be bad with anything. At this point though, I wouldn't worry about it.
J842P
New Member
These are tough questions, and really, most people can only answer for themselves and from personal experiance, because drugs affect different people differently.jubster said:
I know that when I'M high, I tend to become WAY more empathetic, and I try to avoid hurting other people's feelings. I can remeber everything about the experiance, (unless I smoke a LOT, and even then I still remeber for the most part).
Smoking is nothing like booze. He is still the same person, and you would be amazed of the relationship healing properties of THC.
