CityHillbilly
New Member
Hey guys - I stopped by to get some info about a bio-med company selling online but thought I'd share a funny true story with you while I wait for feedback.
Anyway - my friend Tony gives me a collect call and says he's in jail for illegally growing and selling marijuana, in his usual drunk sounding voice, that reminds me of the Mountain Man on Duck Dynasty even though he doesn't drink.
I bail his monkey ass out of jail and he fills me in on what happened - when I asked what he got himself involved with now since he's always getting caught up something even when trying to mind his own business and takes midnight aimless drives to visit people when he gets bored.
Anyway - he lived in a subsidized apartment that was a duplex and for whatever reason decided to buy some marijuana seeds online and see if he had a green thumb - even though he doesn't smoke as smoking and drinking don't do well with the meds he takes for seizures.
Everything was going well and the area meant to be a coat closet near the door was now filled with about a dozen thriving plants on a makeshift grow table and reaching for the lamps he bought at a garage sale for a couple bucks.
A friendly guy and not really the home-body type - he often gave his keys to a neighbor to stop by and water them as he traveled and stayed here and there for a few days with friends on mini weekend vacations. On a few occasions he would sit a few smaller plants outside as his apartment was in the back - so they could drink up the natural sunlight. He was proud of his achievement and bragged about them and showed the maintenance guy that asked to be able to occasionally trim them and take on a new type of maintenance project with side benefits that he didn't get unplugging toilets and fixing sinks.
Everything was dreamy for ol' Tony until one day when three things happen at the same time. Tony was out and about visiting a friend and trying to MacGyver an energy cell that he saw on YouTube that would give you better gas mileage. In the meanwhile the maintenance guy gets himself fired and is replaced with a guy with a personality that would make Hitler seem like a Care Bear in comparison. And the final straw was a report of a possible gas leak in the apartment neighboring Tony's.
Well - the new gestapo maintenance guy came to investigate and needed to enter Tony's apartment to check the lines leading to the other apartment and you can guess his reaction as he walked in and saw Tony's semi-public project and the unmistakable smell of Happy Happy Happy plants hanging out waiting for Tony to get home.The possible gas leak forgotten he calls 911 that he probably had on speed dial assigned to a key on his phone and the manager of the complex.
It's only a couple minutes later when Tony pulls up to find a crowd gathered in front of his spot and his babies being loaded into a the back of police van like trash. Now Tony being the rocket scientist that is sometimes is confronts the cops and insists that they put them back and was thanked with a face full of pepper spray, a knee on the back on his neck, and that ratcheting sound of the cuffs that he'd managed to avoid for over a two years until that point.
Full circle this brings us back to the collect call but I'll fast forward to the court date that changed everything. Tony got his court appointed attorney that insisted he take a plead as he was facing some very serious charges even though the cops chose not to add resisting to the laundry list of offenses he was facing. This was of course ridiculous to Tony since he didn't sell anything and gave people whatever they wanted without compensation, and didn't smoke himself.
Now for his day in court and the stern judge that looked like she was having a bad morning and had to settle for decaf on the way to the bench. It wasn't long before Tony got his say and the first thing on the agenda was to tell the judge he didn't like his attorney and wanted a new one to which the judge said he's SOL. Then the exclamation of innocence and a unsolicited explanation to the judge that in this great country no one should be dragged to court and charged for growing vegetables.The objections continued at the risk of contempt as Tony continued the tirade and vented at his attorney that he served this country as his father did, and his grandfather before him - and what right does some pimple-faced desk jockey attorney have to insist on a plead of guilty. It may have been a miracle but as the others sat there slack-jawed the judge again asked Tony if he understood what he was being accused of and was answered that yes he was being held for growing tomatoes and doesn't smoke weed or even drink. When asked how many tomatoes had been harvested the room erupted in laughter and he said he didn't have any yet but that he wasn't a farmer and now the cops have his crop. Even the judge was shaking her head and by now smiling as the proceeding continued. A not guilty plea was entered and a special hearing for ol' Tony to see if he was competent to stand trial.
Soon thereafter the his court appointed desk jockey arranged a test that evidenced that it was true that Tony didn't smoke and when combined with the report of the interview with the appointed head shrink doc in which he still insisted he was growing tomatoes - Tony accepted a conditional probation that included in part - no more farming. Probation completed and all charges gone - he'll be joining me in the hemp marketing thing if it all checks out and hopefully be a new direction for ol' Tony.
Anyway - my friend Tony gives me a collect call and says he's in jail for illegally growing and selling marijuana, in his usual drunk sounding voice, that reminds me of the Mountain Man on Duck Dynasty even though he doesn't drink.
I bail his monkey ass out of jail and he fills me in on what happened - when I asked what he got himself involved with now since he's always getting caught up something even when trying to mind his own business and takes midnight aimless drives to visit people when he gets bored.
Anyway - he lived in a subsidized apartment that was a duplex and for whatever reason decided to buy some marijuana seeds online and see if he had a green thumb - even though he doesn't smoke as smoking and drinking don't do well with the meds he takes for seizures.
Everything was going well and the area meant to be a coat closet near the door was now filled with about a dozen thriving plants on a makeshift grow table and reaching for the lamps he bought at a garage sale for a couple bucks.
A friendly guy and not really the home-body type - he often gave his keys to a neighbor to stop by and water them as he traveled and stayed here and there for a few days with friends on mini weekend vacations. On a few occasions he would sit a few smaller plants outside as his apartment was in the back - so they could drink up the natural sunlight. He was proud of his achievement and bragged about them and showed the maintenance guy that asked to be able to occasionally trim them and take on a new type of maintenance project with side benefits that he didn't get unplugging toilets and fixing sinks.
Everything was dreamy for ol' Tony until one day when three things happen at the same time. Tony was out and about visiting a friend and trying to MacGyver an energy cell that he saw on YouTube that would give you better gas mileage. In the meanwhile the maintenance guy gets himself fired and is replaced with a guy with a personality that would make Hitler seem like a Care Bear in comparison. And the final straw was a report of a possible gas leak in the apartment neighboring Tony's.
Well - the new gestapo maintenance guy came to investigate and needed to enter Tony's apartment to check the lines leading to the other apartment and you can guess his reaction as he walked in and saw Tony's semi-public project and the unmistakable smell of Happy Happy Happy plants hanging out waiting for Tony to get home.The possible gas leak forgotten he calls 911 that he probably had on speed dial assigned to a key on his phone and the manager of the complex.
It's only a couple minutes later when Tony pulls up to find a crowd gathered in front of his spot and his babies being loaded into a the back of police van like trash. Now Tony being the rocket scientist that is sometimes is confronts the cops and insists that they put them back and was thanked with a face full of pepper spray, a knee on the back on his neck, and that ratcheting sound of the cuffs that he'd managed to avoid for over a two years until that point.
Full circle this brings us back to the collect call but I'll fast forward to the court date that changed everything. Tony got his court appointed attorney that insisted he take a plead as he was facing some very serious charges even though the cops chose not to add resisting to the laundry list of offenses he was facing. This was of course ridiculous to Tony since he didn't sell anything and gave people whatever they wanted without compensation, and didn't smoke himself.
Now for his day in court and the stern judge that looked like she was having a bad morning and had to settle for decaf on the way to the bench. It wasn't long before Tony got his say and the first thing on the agenda was to tell the judge he didn't like his attorney and wanted a new one to which the judge said he's SOL. Then the exclamation of innocence and a unsolicited explanation to the judge that in this great country no one should be dragged to court and charged for growing vegetables.The objections continued at the risk of contempt as Tony continued the tirade and vented at his attorney that he served this country as his father did, and his grandfather before him - and what right does some pimple-faced desk jockey attorney have to insist on a plead of guilty. It may have been a miracle but as the others sat there slack-jawed the judge again asked Tony if he understood what he was being accused of and was answered that yes he was being held for growing tomatoes and doesn't smoke weed or even drink. When asked how many tomatoes had been harvested the room erupted in laughter and he said he didn't have any yet but that he wasn't a farmer and now the cops have his crop. Even the judge was shaking her head and by now smiling as the proceeding continued. A not guilty plea was entered and a special hearing for ol' Tony to see if he was competent to stand trial.
Soon thereafter the his court appointed desk jockey arranged a test that evidenced that it was true that Tony didn't smoke and when combined with the report of the interview with the appointed head shrink doc in which he still insisted he was growing tomatoes - Tony accepted a conditional probation that included in part - no more farming. Probation completed and all charges gone - he'll be joining me in the hemp marketing thing if it all checks out and hopefully be a new direction for ol' Tony.
