420 Magazine Background

Depression by Anonymous

Julie Gardener

New Member
Depression by Anonymous​

My family has a long history of depression, including some bipolar-like symptoms. I began experimenting with marijuana as a teen, as a recreational drug, and used off and on for a number of years. I am an avid writer, and have kept personal journals for about 20 years, since my mid-teens. About 3 years ago I noticed that during the years I was "using," my mood swings were relatively mild, even non-existent. I realized then that marijuana was an effective mood-controlling substance for me. I am married with three young children, and the thought of them knowing about my use of an illegal substance has always bothered me, so recently I have resolved to try and cope with my depressions w/o the use of Pot. Interestingly enough, my performance at work suffers when I don't smoke, as my ability to concentrate is lessened, and the mood swings effect my level of motivation. When I am smoking, I am able to hide it effectively from strangers, as I do not "act" high. Even so, I know I cannot hide it from my own children. I prefer living with depression to trying to explain to youngsters why it's "ok" for Daddy to do something "illegal." I almost never smoke with others, meaning, I do not use pot "recreationally" anymore. If pot were a legal treatment for depression, I would use it in moderation, privately, and without hiding. I have used Prozac, which was somewhat effective but wore off after a time. I refuse to try other antidepressants, having read about their side effects. I work in a creative field, and even Prozac seems to dull my mind, making it close to impossible to work effectively. Meanwhile, I will get by without pot - but I hope your campaign is successful and people like myself are allowed to choose.

Source: Comments and Observations
 
Top Bottom