ok im about to start explaining what this thread is all about lol and i just want to say ahead of time, this may (it sure did) end up being long, but i hope that anyone with a good amount of experience will take the time to read this and tell me what u think because sometimes i get so emotionally weird latley it feels like theres no hope of getting passed it. so to start off, i started smoking dec 05 and from about feb 06 ive smoked basically everyday to this day, and in the passed year id say ive taken about 5 days off with never more then 2 days in a row lol. im 19.
ok so im in cali and i get nothing but the dankest of herbs. i ususally buy a half oz and go through it in a week or so. and i hang out at peoples houses and stuff just shredding up the bong, smokn blunts wutever it is. and one thing that seems to happen all too often is i just get into this mental state that is just so emotionally draining i dont know what to do with myself. the high i get now is so different from what i got when i started smoking, but if im around people i always seem to start off fine, like when i show up and sober ususally im all good, i feel good and stuff, but then its as if ill have some beer smoke alot of weed and later on i feel like i cant even communicate with people haha, not like im just hell of drunk and high and im just fucked up and cant talk but its like i dont even really feel high and i dont even feel drunk, i just feel fuckn totally dull, as if my face isnt even giving any expression, its like im just a body sitting there with no thoughts or emotions haha. and then ill get so uncomfortable about it that all i do is concetrate on the way i feel so if someone talks to me ill sit there and feel like im retarded or sumthn and i cant even respond with more then a couple words that i try to push out so that people will just stop talkn to me and i can try to get my head straight. but the problem is it seems like i never get feeln better again, until i just go home and sleep it off the parties or wutever it is im doing r just done for.
i mean it gets me wondering if ive always been that way and just never really noticed and maybe it has nuthn to do with drinkn or weed, or if i smoke so much weed that i dont even really get high in a good way or sumthn, its so hard to explain, cuz i feel like everyone else could have smoked and drank just as much as me and they seem to b having the time of their lives. like when u drink beer u should b waking up and feeln good not losing all the energy and feeling shitty. and sometimes ill feel completely fine high or not high and ill just tell myself to stop worrying the next time i feel weird, but then i really cant control it, other times its just no good and i cant help it.
or i wonder if the facial expression is just from smokn so much weed that maybe i do just look high to everyone else and to myself i just feel like theres no emotion going on or sumthn.
so hard to explain haha, i feel like an idiot just tryn to explain this, but i figure if this has anything to do with weed this is the place to find out if anyone can relate to it.
when i smoke now i dont even really feel euphoric, i used to get a hell of obvious switch into the euphoric high, now its just like another mood that once i get into it i cant even distinguish from being regular. its like i just get stupid as fuck and cant think of much and get paranoid and shit. maybe i need to take some time off and see if any type of euphoric feeln comes back? i have a hard time taking 1 day off though, its like after work at the end of the day if my state of mind doesnt switch over to being high i feel like sumthn was missing that day lol.
sorry i know this is way long, but i did my best to try to say wut i wanted to say. hopefully i explained it in a somewhat understandable way.
thanks to anyone who takes the time reading this and for annnny input.
ok so im in cali and i get nothing but the dankest of herbs. i ususally buy a half oz and go through it in a week or so. and i hang out at peoples houses and stuff just shredding up the bong, smokn blunts wutever it is. and one thing that seems to happen all too often is i just get into this mental state that is just so emotionally draining i dont know what to do with myself. the high i get now is so different from what i got when i started smoking, but if im around people i always seem to start off fine, like when i show up and sober ususally im all good, i feel good and stuff, but then its as if ill have some beer smoke alot of weed and later on i feel like i cant even communicate with people haha, not like im just hell of drunk and high and im just fucked up and cant talk but its like i dont even really feel high and i dont even feel drunk, i just feel fuckn totally dull, as if my face isnt even giving any expression, its like im just a body sitting there with no thoughts or emotions haha. and then ill get so uncomfortable about it that all i do is concetrate on the way i feel so if someone talks to me ill sit there and feel like im retarded or sumthn and i cant even respond with more then a couple words that i try to push out so that people will just stop talkn to me and i can try to get my head straight. but the problem is it seems like i never get feeln better again, until i just go home and sleep it off the parties or wutever it is im doing r just done for.
i mean it gets me wondering if ive always been that way and just never really noticed and maybe it has nuthn to do with drinkn or weed, or if i smoke so much weed that i dont even really get high in a good way or sumthn, its so hard to explain, cuz i feel like everyone else could have smoked and drank just as much as me and they seem to b having the time of their lives. like when u drink beer u should b waking up and feeln good not losing all the energy and feeling shitty. and sometimes ill feel completely fine high or not high and ill just tell myself to stop worrying the next time i feel weird, but then i really cant control it, other times its just no good and i cant help it.
or i wonder if the facial expression is just from smokn so much weed that maybe i do just look high to everyone else and to myself i just feel like theres no emotion going on or sumthn.
so hard to explain haha, i feel like an idiot just tryn to explain this, but i figure if this has anything to do with weed this is the place to find out if anyone can relate to it.
when i smoke now i dont even really feel euphoric, i used to get a hell of obvious switch into the euphoric high, now its just like another mood that once i get into it i cant even distinguish from being regular. its like i just get stupid as fuck and cant think of much and get paranoid and shit. maybe i need to take some time off and see if any type of euphoric feeln comes back? i have a hard time taking 1 day off though, its like after work at the end of the day if my state of mind doesnt switch over to being high i feel like sumthn was missing that day lol.
sorry i know this is way long, but i did my best to try to say wut i wanted to say. hopefully i explained it in a somewhat understandable way.
thanks to anyone who takes the time reading this and for annnny input.