<p>
<img src="https://www.420magazine.com/gallery/data/1073/user0016.gif" align=left>People in the most poverty-stricken areas of Dundee are being offered thousands of pounds to give up sex.
Authorities are alarmed at the rising birth rate and the strain this is having on local health and social services.
</p>
Dundee Councilor Jock McTaggert said, "Poor people breed like rabbits. They can't seem to stop themselves. We need to find ways of curbing their sexual urges."
Financial bribes include cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. "We've found poor people respond well to these incentives. A bottle of whisky or a packet of cigarettes can be highly effective. Also, a Marijuana joint on a Saturday evening can send them to sleep before having sex. Putting bromide in their tap water will only be a final resort."
Participating couples in this 12-week scheme will initially be given 25 bottles of whisky, 600 cigarettes and 4 grams of cannabis by NHS Tayside. Andrew Radley, consultant in public health and founder of the scheme said, "Each one will be tested every two days, to see if they've had sex. Any who prove rumpi-pumpi positive will be kicked off."
One participating couple, Dougal and Shona Maciver, who already have eight children, are delighted with the idea. "Aye, It mae cut oot me man's podgin' and keep the wee bairns doon," Shona admitted.
Last year the Scottish Government challenged NHS Tayside to address the high birth rates in their poorest areas.
"This project seeks to deliver on that," continued Radley. "And if successful could be replicated in other impoverished areas around Scotland."
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
Source
<img src="https://www.420magazine.com/gallery/data/1073/user0016.gif" align=left>People in the most poverty-stricken areas of Dundee are being offered thousands of pounds to give up sex.
Authorities are alarmed at the rising birth rate and the strain this is having on local health and social services.
</p>
Dundee Councilor Jock McTaggert said, "Poor people breed like rabbits. They can't seem to stop themselves. We need to find ways of curbing their sexual urges."
Financial bribes include cigarettes, alcohol and drugs. "We've found poor people respond well to these incentives. A bottle of whisky or a packet of cigarettes can be highly effective. Also, a Marijuana joint on a Saturday evening can send them to sleep before having sex. Putting bromide in their tap water will only be a final resort."
Participating couples in this 12-week scheme will initially be given 25 bottles of whisky, 600 cigarettes and 4 grams of cannabis by NHS Tayside. Andrew Radley, consultant in public health and founder of the scheme said, "Each one will be tested every two days, to see if they've had sex. Any who prove rumpi-pumpi positive will be kicked off."
One participating couple, Dougal and Shona Maciver, who already have eight children, are delighted with the idea. "Aye, It mae cut oot me man's podgin' and keep the wee bairns doon," Shona admitted.
Last year the Scottish Government challenged NHS Tayside to address the high birth rates in their poorest areas.
"This project seeks to deliver on that," continued Radley. "And if successful could be replicated in other impoverished areas around Scotland."
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.
Source
