Help! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

[TheMostHigh]

So basically, I just got an offer for a job. I have NEVER taken a drug test before. I was informed I'll be taking one as a condition of employment. I don't know exactly when I'll take the drug test as I haven't formally accepted the offer yet, I'm negotiating some details of the offer, and the hiring manager won't be able to get back to me with negotiation until next Wednesday at the earliest. So I'm figuring this will give me some time to prepare adequately and to get the THC out of my system. I smoke 3-5 times a week, but haven't had any since last Saturday (today is Friday). Don't know what type of drug test I'm taking, and didn't want to ask a lot of details to avoid raising red flags, obviously.

I've browsed the forums and I've seen a ton of info about passing a drug test. Some of the info seems to contradict other info, and some just seems downright dangerous (e.g., popping multiple aspirin--I have a problem taking drugs. I have no problem smoking weed.)

Anyway, I'm 5'10," about 205lbs, athletic build, but I have a pretty average to slow metabolism, esp as I've gotten older (I'm in my late 30s).

Can someone give me some advice on what I can do to detox? I'm going to assume it's a urine test they'll give me.

Thanks!

 

[intelinside12]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

Screw the expensive detox drinks!

1. Water (8 Bottles Night Before, 6 bottles starting 3 hours before test)
2. Sports Drinks (Gatorade or Powerade, 2 bottles night before, 1 bottle 1 hour before test)
3. Creatine Monohydrate (Capsules or Powder, at least 750mg per serving, 3 servings night before, 2 servings 3 hours before test). Start the Creatine as soon as possible so it can work into your system.
4. Vitamin B Complex (3 pills day and night before, 3 pills 3 hours before test, space out)
5. NO ASPIRIN (don't load up on aspirin, you may kill yourself!!)

Pee MULTIPLE times before the test, at least 4-5 times! When you pee in the cup, make sure it is "midstream"!

 

[TheMostHigh]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

Thanks for the input!

Let me ask you--what are we talking in terms of oz in each of the water bottles and sports drinks? 16oz, 32oz, or something else?

Also, have you tried this with success?

Thanks again!

 

[Weed420]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

You are a moderate smoker so I would recommend subbing with synthetic urine. You could try the dilution method and it might work for you but I would only give it a 50/50 chance.
If you want to try dilution do this.
Nothing cleans your system of thc metabolites. They are the only drug that is not water soluble. Thc heads directly to your fat cells and stays there till you either burn them off or they die naturally in about a month depending on your metabolism rate.
A little late now but here's what you do if you want to try and get clean naturally.
Exercise and stay hydrated
Eat a high fiber diet with possibly adding some metamucil to help keep the bowels moving.
3 days before the test switch to a red meat high fat diet and quit exercising
Drink 36 ounces of gatorade the morning of the test
Pee 3 or 4 times before the test
When taking the test
Pee a little in the toilet first
Pee 2 ounces in the collection cup
Pee the rest in the toilet.

The reasons.
80% of your thc metabolites are removed through your stool. If the stool isn't evacuated the thc metabolites gets reabsorbed through your intestines and heads back to fat cells again. When you change to a red meat high fat diet it does 2 things. It raises your creatine levels to allow for more dillution so that you don't fail the test. The fat tells the body to start saving fat cells again for a few days so that the thc metabolites don't enter the kidneys and pass into the urine.

Midstream pee
The first and last of your pee is always the dirtiest. So use your midstream urine for the collection cup

 

[TheMostHigh]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

You are a moderate smoker so I would recommend subbing with synthetic urine. You could try the dilution method and it might work for you but I would only give it a 50/50 chance.
If you want to try dilution do this.
Nothing cleans your system of thc metabolites. They are the only drug that is not water soluble. Thc heads directly to your fat cells and stays there till you either burn them off or they die naturally in about a month depending on your metabolism rate.
A little late now but here's what you do if you want to try and get clean naturally.
Exercise and stay hydrated
Eat a high fiber diet with possibly adding some metamucil to help keep the bowels moving.
3 days before the test switch to a red meat high fat diet and quit exercising
Drink 36 ounces of gatorade the morning of the test
Pee 3 or 4 times before the test
When taking the test
Pee a little in the toilet first
Pee 2 ounces in the collection cup
Pee the rest in the toilet.

The reasons.
80% of your thc metabolites are removed through your stool. If the stool isn't evacuated the thc metabolites gets reabsorbed through your intestines and heads back to fat cells again. When you change to a red meat high fat diet it does 2 things. It raises your creatine levels to allow for more dillution so that you don't fail the test. The fat tells the body to start saving fat cells again for a few days so that the thc metabolites don't enter the kidneys and pass into the urine.

Midstream pee
The first and last of your pee is always the dirtiest. So use your midstream urine for the collection cup

Really? I've heard several (albeit conflicting) stories about people who have detoxed and been able to pass drug tests in less than 48 hours, and have at least 2 weeks from the time I test since the last time I toked.

But as for the synthetic route, isn't that detectable? I was thinking of using someone else's urine (my 10 year old son's...and later explain to him my thoughts on cannabis and all), but I could do synthetic if it works and isn't detectable.

 

[BudTester420]

Really? I've heard several (albeit conflicting) stories about people who have detoxed and been able to pass drug tests in less than 48 hours, and have at least 2 weeks from the time I test since the last time I toked.

But as for the synthetic route, isn't that detectable? I was thinking of using someone else's urine (my 10 year old son's...and later explain to him my thoughts on cannabis and all), but I could do synthetic if it works and isn't detectable.

I had a buddy use quick fix with no issues and got a job. As a full time smoker synthetic is the only way for me, there's no way you can get thc out your system if your a full time smoker, dilution might help but is that a chance you want to take.

 

[TheMostHigh]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

I had a buddy use quick fix with no issues and got a job. As a full time smoker synthetic is the only way for me, there's no way you can get thc out your system if your a full time smoker, dilution might help but is that a chance you want to take.

Ok, so I'm thinking I just need to use synthetic or someone else's pee at this point. It just seems like I run no risk that way, besides being caught. First, is synthetic detectable? And second, what is the best way to use urine other than my own? I've read about the whizzinator, but spending that much on a (hopefully) one-time test seems like a waste.

 

[BudTester420]

Ok, so I'm thinking I just need to use synthetic or someone else's pee at this point. It just seems like I run no risk that way, besides being caught. First, is synthetic detectable? And second, what is the best way to use urine other than my own? I've read about the whizzinator, but spending that much on a (hopefully) one-time test seems like a waste.

I've heard of some synthetic getting caught but that's either cause they were cheap or it was a counterfeit item.
Small bottle you can put a hand heat pack around, the sample needs to be between 90/100 when u hand it in.
When you go in for a job UA they are pretty easy if u can hide the pee, you are usually good. I would use the whiz for court ordered UA.

 

[TheMostHigh]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

I've heard of some synthetic getting caught but that's either cause they were cheap or it was a counterfeit item.
Small bottle you can put a hand heat pack around, the sample needs to be between 90/100 when u hand it in.
When you go in for a job UA they are pretty easy if u can hide the pee, you are usually good. I would use the whiz for court ordered UA.

This is good news because I'm craving a fat bowl (or several) over the holiday weekend.

Thanks!

 

[intelinside12]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

Thanks for the input!

what are we talking in terms of oz in each of the water bottles and sports drinks? 16oz, 32oz, or something else?

Also, have you tried this with success?

Yes! Success just 2 days ago, started new job today (first day)

Regarding oz, I used the standard 16.9oz bottles, didn't buy a case of water, just used good ole tap. I drank the 32oz powerades.

From my research, the only way you would get caught (dilution method) is if your creatinine levels are uncommonly low and or if your urine is clear. If you don't take creatine monohydrate or vitamin B, your creatinine levels will be low and your urine will be clear and if it's too clear the tech may not even give the ok to send it to the lab.

So you are comfortable with my advise, I was in the same boat as you, I hadn't smoked in 2 weeks before the test. I did all of my detoxing starting the day before the test. I did drink a bottle of 100% cranberry (disgusting) a couple of days before but that truly doesn't do much.

I would rather "take my chances" by dilution rather than doing something they can clearly tell is illegal (substitution of urine, or synthetic). Worst case scenario with dilution is that you will get another chance (another test) which gives you more time.

If you read the post that is titled "24 Hour Warning, Passed!" you will see exactly what I did. Again I think we had similar experiences, not smoking for 2 weeks.

24 hour warning, Passed! Read to see how!

 

[TheMostHigh]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

Yes! Success just 2 days ago, started new job today (first day)

Regarding oz, I used the standard 16.9oz bottles, didn't buy a case of water, just used good ole tap. I drank the 32oz powerades.

From my research, the only way you would get caught (dilution method) is if your creatinine levels are uncommonly low and or if your urine is clear. If you don't take creatine monohydrate or vitamin B, your creatinine levels will be low and your urine will be clear and if it's too clear the tech may not even give the ok to send it to the lab.

So you are comfortable with my advise, I was in the same boat as you, I hadn't smoked in 2 weeks before the test. I did all of my detoxing starting the day before the test. I did drink a bottle of 100% cranberry (disgusting) a couple of days before but that truly doesn't do much.

I would rather "take my chances" by dilution rather than doing something they can clearly tell is illegal (substitution of urine, or synthetic). Worst case scenario with dilution is that you will get another chance (another test) which gives you more time.

If you read the post that is titled "24 Hour Warning, Passed!" you will see exactly what I did. Again I think we had similar experiences, not smoking for 2 weeks.

24 hour warning, Passed! Read to see how!

Ok, so I'm a bit torn now. Decisions, decisions...

On the one hand, I'd really just like to blaze up. I'm a chronic pain sufferer, and my back is killing me. Using someone else's clean urine really simplifies things. On the other hand, I am paranoid that I might get caught. How likely would that be though? This is a senior-management job for a major retailer. Not for a high-security clearance job, or for probation or anything like that.

Goodness... Wtf does my use of marihuana have to do with my ability to perform anyway? I digress... I'm ranting.

 

[intelinside12]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

Using someone else's clean urine really simplifies things.

In the end, you are your own man, you have to make the decision that is best for your family.

 

[hydromaniac]

I used quick fix for mine and passed like a charm. i got it from local smoke shop for $20

also online if you google quick fix. pretty easy to use, I wore spandex and had it in there the whole time, but i guess you can leave it in your pocket too since they dont search you. make sure the temp is right. GL

 

[Weed420]

Re: HELP!!! Pre-employment Drug Test Coming Up

Ok, so I'm a bit torn now. Decisions, decisions...

On the one hand, I'd really just like to blaze up. I'm a chronic pain sufferer, and my back is killing me. Using someone else's clean urine really simplifies things. On the other hand, I am paranoid that I might get caught. How likely would that be though? This is a senior-management job for a major retailer. Not for a high-security clearance job, or for probation or anything like that.

Goodness... Wtf does my use of marihuana have to do with my ability to perform anyway? I digress... I'm ranting.

I've used QuickFix about 15 times and have never failed. Most local smoke shops carry synthetics. Using someone elses urine that you're absolutely sure doesn't use prescription or any other drugs will be fine. Get a small 2 ounce travel shampoo bottle and rinse it out thoroughly. Pickup a stick on strip thermometer on the side to keep the temp in range. Usually a drug store will have those. STick the temp strip on the side of the bottle and practice with water for a little bit till you have the temp range down pat.
Most of the synthetics already come with a bottle and and a temp strip. If you live in Washington or Oregon I would recommend picking up a synthetic urine that contains uric acid. Some of the smaller labs are checking for uric acid to see if its synthetic or not.

 

[TheMostHigh]

I used quick fix for mine and passed like a charm. i got it from local smoke shop for $20

also online if you google quick fix. pretty easy to use, I wore spandex and had it in there the whole time, but i guess you can leave it in your pocket too since they dont search you. make sure the temp is right. GL

What would be the advantage of using synthetic vs someone else's urine that's clean?

 

[intelinside12]

Dude just smoke and take your chances, if you haven't already :rolleyes3 If you are still 2 weeks clean you can totally pass on dilution. As much as I believe we all love "Sir Phillip McSniffson" we also have to get priorities in check. Sound like you have to go a week without, it won't kill you. Plus this is for a job so I'm guessing your funds are low already...why spend $$$$ if you can just sacrifice for a little while? Just think, that bowl or blunt once you pass will get you lifted to Juniper, maybe Uranus....

Also once you pass and have that victory session, you can listen to Grand Funk Railroad, "I'm Your Captain"...

 

[Weed420]

What would be the advantage of using synthetic vs someone else's urine that's clean?

Only that synthetic does not have to be refrigerated and that you can reheat synthetic multiple times without hurting it. Real urine you have to keep refrigerated and and use within a couple of days.

 

[TheMostHigh]

UPDATE!

Just wanted to provide an update in case this helps anyone else who has to go through the headache of a drug test...

So I didn't partake of the good stuff for about 10 days. Finally, over Memorial Day weekend, I once again became "The Most High." I figured I'd just use someone's clean pee, AND my back was killing me. I'd rather toke than pop a pill any day.

Anyway, I found out that synthetic urine is not only illegal in my state (couldn't find it any head shop), but the person whose urine I was going to use took ADHD meds! Apparently, ADHD meds could show up on a drug test.

HR called me out of the blue one morning (last Thursday), and they wanted me to go the same day for the test. Ah, no. So after telling them I could go the next day, I searched for someone whose pee I could use and did a ton of research about these "same day detoxes."

I ended up finding some clean pee. I put it in a small, 4 oz plastic bottle (think I got it from Target), wrapped one of those instant heating pad thingys around it (secured by a rubber band), and tucked it in my crotch while I wore compression shorts.

When I got to the lab, it took OVER AN HOUR before they called me back. They were crowded, and they misplaced my paperwork from the employer. So while trying to play cool (and wondering if the heating pack was scorching the pee way past 110 F), I eventually got called back.

Went into the room, poured the pee in the cup. Couldn't make heads or tales of the strip thermometer on their cup as the pee felt plenty warm enough, but the temp reading said it was less than 80. I just turned it over to them and hoped for the best.

When I signed off on their doc, it said the pee was between 90-100, so I knew I was in. Got a call today that everything was fine, and I start work next week!

It is my sincerest hope that I don't have to have a random drug screening now that I'm in. That entire process had me sweating bullets!

Thanks everybody for the feedback! And happy toking...