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There may be a healthy dose of adult weed smokers, but how many of them talk straight about it with their kids?
Marsha Rosenbaum holds a doctorate in medical sociology from UC San Francisco and has researched drug issues for 20 years. Wherever the director of the San Francisco office of the Drug Policy Alliance holds workshops about teens and drugs -- Salt Lake City, Arizona, even at a national PTA convention in Columbus, Ohio -- at least one parent sheepishly asks Rosenbaum a version of the same question:
"I smoke pot once in a while. I have a good job, my marriage is strong and I'm in decent shape. It's never been a problem for me. So what do I tell my kid if I think they're smoking?"
Or worse, what do I say if they find my stash?
These parents aren't stoners, said Rosenbaum. They're not medicinal marijuana users or legalization advocates, either. They're lawyers. Land developers. Teachers. Homeroom mothers. They smoke marijuana occasionally -- socially, "like a glass of wine" is a common comparison.
Yet privately, these parents are asking for help with a dilemma that isn't addressed publicly in many places: How do I talk to my kids about their pot smoking when I still do it -- and don't have any intention of stopping? They're finding there aren't a lot of places to go for information, especially for those who don't want to feed their children a reheated version of the federal government's "Just Say No" anti-drug campaigns of the 1980s.
Besides, many kids are tuning out the government's zero-tolerance message. Last year, the Government Accountability Office, the investigative arm of Congress, found that the federal government's $1.4 billion anti-drug campaign wasn't working and said the drop in teenage drug use in recent years could be a result of other factors.
Pot-smoking parents are everywhere in the Bay Area, say Rosenbaum and marijuana policy advocates. They take their regular turn in the carpool, and maintain their lawns and serve as lectors at their church. They're not tough to find. Getting them to talk about it is another matter.
"But I'd be surprised if any of them would give you their full name, at least the folks you're looking for," Rosenbaum said. "It is the third rail of the third rail. You just don't talk about smoking marijuana, especially if you are high-functioning person."
Indeed, few will publicly give voice to an otherwise silent minority of pot smokers: high-functioning, high-achieving adults -- many of them parents -- who still enjoy an occasional puff of the herb. Actually, nobody knows if they're a minority or a majority -- just that they're out there, they're silent and they have little desire to tell the world that, as the pot-legalization rally chant goes, "We smoke pot and we like it a lot."
Described by anti-drug advocates as "the most drug-experienced (generation of parents) on record," today's pot-smoking parents grew up in the stoner haze of the 1970s, blew smoke at Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" campaigns and roll their eyes at mentions of the DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program. Eleven percent of parents of children younger than 18 have smoked pot in the last year, according to a 2006 RoperASW survey for Partnership for a Drug Free America. Only 51 percent of parents said they'd be upset if their kids experimented with weed.
But do you tell your kids that?
The debate over how to have what the latest federal anti-drug campaign calls "these crucial conversations" about pot sounds similar to the disagreement over how to teach sex education.
On one hand are the absolutists who say abstinence is the only option. Do not have sex. Period. The other approach preaches abstinence first, but also teaches children about safe sex.
With pot, the zero-tolerance crowd says that when you talk to your kids about drugs, abstinence is the only option. Do not smoke pot. End of story. On the other side, led by activists and educators in California, is an approach called "Safety First: A Reality-Based Approach to Teens and Drugs."
They agree abstinence is the first and best option. But after parents lay out the dangers of drug and alcohol use, they encourage them to talk to their children about "responsible use." Moderation. Parents should tell their children that if they're curious, they will help them find out about the effects of certain drugs and explain how to recognize irresponsible behavior "when it comes to place, time, dose levels and frequency of use." The California state PTA has distributed more than 200,000 copies of the 26-page "Safety First" booklet since 2002.
"Sometimes saying, 'You cannot do this,' doesn't work with children. This is a fallback position," said Pat Klotz, vice president for health for the California PTA. The Anaheim grandmother and registered nurse acknowledges that some of her more conservative Orange County neighbors aren't pleased with the approach, "but we think 'Safety First' is a more realistic approach about drugs."
The federal government doesn't.
"It (Safety First) is quite defeatist," said Bertha Madras, deputy director for demand reduction at the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, the department charged with weaning America off the pipe. "It says that we can't really get a handle on this issue, so let's just accept casual use."
Granted, the feds and pot activists have long disagreed on the scientific evidence on the dangers of marijuana use. And that disagreement leads to a fundamental one over how to talk to kids about drugs.
Any discussion of "recreational" pot-smoking parents is a nonstarter for Madras. Her definition of "recreation" doesn't include mind-altering illegal substances. So don't bother equating the dope smoker's belief that a hit of pot to relax after work is no different than a glass of wine.
"A glass of wine does not intoxicate most people. A glass of wine is a relaxant," said Madras, who is on leave as a professor of psychiatry at Harvard University. "People, when they smoke marijuana, they're not just relaxing. They're laughing louder, their appetite is increased, they are hearing things differently than normal. There's a whole range of distorted perceptions and distorted behaviors that come with that.''
Parents: the Antidrug, a Web site launched by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, offers this example of how parents can explain past marijuana use. In this scenario, Chris, the son, tells his dad that he tried smoking pot:
Dad: "Thanks for being honest with me. But I have to say I'm really disappointed to hear that. There can be serious consequences when you use drugs, even marijuana. You're putting yourself in danger and you could jeopardize your future."
Chris: "Whatever, Dad. That's just way over the top. Besides, you told me before that you smoked pot in college and you turned out just fine. So what's the big deal?"
Dad: "I did use it, and now I regret it. Looking back, I can see that I was lucky that nothing bad happened to me. I've seen plenty of bad things happen to other people and I don't want that to happen to you. It's just because I love you. You're much younger than I was when I tried it. The younger you use, the more damage you could do to your brain or your body."
But that's past pot use. What's a current pot-smoking parent to do? Saying "Do as I say, not as I do" is hypocritical, Madras said.
"Children really do see things in black-and-white," Madras said. "A parent cannot say that 'I am unique, I'm special, I can get away with it, but you shouldn't.' That doesn't resonate with kids."
Hiding that bag of weed in the closet isn't a good idea, either. Madras said parents have to get over "their own guilt about their past or their current use. There is a barrier that they have to break through." She urged parents to look at their behavior and see what impact it has on their children.
In many cases, parents aren't saying anything. Fewer than one in three teens say they learned about drug risks at home, according to the Roper study.
The "Safety First" approach tries to get teens to tune back into the conversation by being less absolutist. First, parents should lay out the dangers of drug and alcohol use. Tell them that they'll be there to answer any questions and even research the effects of various drugs. And then, parents should accept that no matter what they warn their children about, risk-taking is natural to teenagers.
"Teens who do use alcohol, marijuana and/or other drugs must understand there is a huge difference between use and abuse, and between occasional and daily use," according to "Safety First."
"If young people continue, despite our admonitions to use alcohol and/or other drugs, they must control their use by practicing moderation and limiting use. It is impossible to do well academically or meet one's responsibilities at work while intoxicated."
There's a thirst for an approach that doesn't end at "Just Say No," said "Safety First" author Rosenbaum. And more information may soon be on the way.
Mitch Earleywine is an associate professor of psychology at the State University of New York in Albany and a favorite of the pro-marijuana crowd for his books like, "Understanding Marijuana: A New Look at the Scientific Evidence." The working title for his next book is, "A Parents' Guide to Marijuana," and his inspiration came from a very personal place.
Earleywine is 43 and has been smoking pot since he was 15. Now that the professor has two young children, there have been some uncomfortable situations at home. Like when his kids see him sparking up a vaporizer, a tabletop device that creates a smokeless drag of marijuana.
"When my daughter comes in and sees me vaporizing, well, I can only tell her it's a night light for so long," Earleywine said.
Yet Earleywine often has trouble finding government funding for his studies, let alone subjects to participate in them, even just to answer questions. One of his most recent published reports relied on respondents answering questions over the Internet.
Many high-achieving, occasional pot smokers are -- no stoner joke intended -- paranoid about the consequences of coming out. While studies say that 100 million Americans have tried marijuana and 11 states have some kind of medical cannabis legislation, that has done little to remove the stigma of pot smoking. Or the fear of having law enforcement knock on your door if you discuss it publicly.
The Chronicle contacted a couple of pro-marijuana advocacy organizations to try to find people who fit this profile and were willing to go on the record. One advocate e-mailed the request to like-minded souls, but included a disclaimer: "I should say, I don't know what the legal implications might be for going on record."
"It's almost easier to talk about it if you are a medicinal marijuana user, because then you have a reason that is seen as more socially acceptable," said Helen Nunberg, a Santa Cruz physician who sees hundreds of medical marijuana patients. "I would think people don't think it's secret, it's just private."
Woe to the person who tries to grab that third rail of the third rail of even talking about marijuana in a sympathetic way, especially when it comes to children. Ask Ricardo Cortes.
Two years ago, the New York resident wrote and illustrated a children's book called "It's Only a Plant: A Children's Story About Marijuana." Although not a parent himself, Cortes was inspired to write it by several high-functioning, pot-smoking friends who were wrestling with this dilemma about how to reconcile their illegal dope smoking with their parental duties. Publishers wouldn't touch it and neither would most major chain retailers, so Cortes self-published it.
In it, a young girl named Jackie woke up past her bedtime one night, opened her parents' bedroom door, and saw them smoking a joint. Her dad explains that it is a plant.
The next day, the girl's mother takes her to see a farmer -- and pot grower -- named Farmer Bob. He doesn't smoke marijuana (it makes him sleepy), but explains that "doctors, teachers, artists, actors, even mayors and presidents" smoke this "flower."
Then they visit a doctor, who explains that "marijuana is for adults who can use it responsibly." It "is definitely not for children." Jackie's mom agrees and said, "Marijuana is for grown-ups. Like driving a car or drinking a glass of wine. You can make a choice to try it or not when you are an adult."
Conservative politicians and media types couldn't have asked for a fluffier pinata to beat on for a few news cycles. It was denounced by Republican Rep. Mark Souder, R-Ind. who called it a "pro-marijuana children's book" and read excerpts into the Congressional Record.
Cortes, 33, did the rounds of the chat shows, including Fox's "The O'Reilly Factor" and took his lumps for its sympathetic portrayal of the drug (radio hosts would play trippy sitar music as he talked). But he was trying to make a point that pot smoking parents make only privately.
Sold largely online through Cortes' self-publishing company and as a kitschy offering at the Urban Outfitters chain, "It's Only a Plant" has sold 6,000 copies. He's working on translating it into five languages.
"I kind of enjoy all of those conversations," Cortes said. "That's what it takes to get something changed in this culture. More talk, talk, talk, talk."
Newshawk: CoZmO - 420Magazine.com
Source: San Francisco Chronicle (CA)
Author: Joe Garofoli
Contact: jgarofoli@sfchronicle.com
Copyright: 2007 Hearst Communications Inc.
Website: SF Gate: San Francisco Bay Area
Marsha Rosenbaum holds a doctorate in medical sociology from UC San Francisco and has researched drug issues for 20 years. Wherever the director of the San Francisco office of the Drug Policy Alliance holds workshops about teens and drugs -- Salt Lake City, Arizona, even at a national PTA convention in Columbus, Ohio -- at least one parent sheepishly asks Rosenbaum a version of the same question:
"I smoke pot once in a while. I have a good job, my marriage is strong and I'm in decent shape. It's never been a problem for me. So what do I tell my kid if I think they're smoking?"
Or worse, what do I say if they find my stash?
These parents aren't stoners, said Rosenbaum. They're not medicinal marijuana users or legalization advocates, either. They're lawyers. Land developers. Teachers. Homeroom mothers. They smoke marijuana occasionally -- socially, "like a glass of wine" is a common comparison.
Yet privately, these parents are asking for help with a dilemma that isn't addressed publicly in many places: How do I talk to my kids about their pot smoking when I still do it -- and don't have any intention of stopping? They're finding there aren't a lot of places to go for information, especially for those who don't want to feed their children a reheated version of the federal government's "Just Say No" anti-drug campaigns of the 1980s.
Besides, many kids are tuning out the government's zero-tolerance message. Last year, the Government Accountability Office, the investigative arm of Congress, found that the federal government's $1.4 billion anti-drug campaign wasn't working and said the drop in teenage drug use in recent years could be a result of other factors.
Pot-smoking parents are everywhere in the Bay Area, say Rosenbaum and marijuana policy advocates. They take their regular turn in the carpool, and maintain their lawns and serve as lectors at their church. They're not tough to find. Getting them to talk about it is another matter.
"But I'd be surprised if any of them would give you their full name, at least the folks you're looking for," Rosenbaum said. "It is the third rail of the third rail. You just don't talk about smoking marijuana, especially if you are high-functioning person."
Indeed, few will publicly give voice to an otherwise silent minority of pot smokers: high-functioning, high-achieving adults -- many of them parents -- who still enjoy an occasional puff of the herb. Actually, nobody knows if they're a minority or a majority -- just that they're out there, they're silent and they have little desire to tell the world that, as the pot-legalization rally chant goes, "We smoke pot and we like it a lot."
Described by anti-drug advocates as "the most drug-experienced (generation of parents) on record," today's pot-smoking parents grew up in the stoner haze of the 1970s, blew smoke at Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" campaigns and roll their eyes at mentions of the DARE (Drug Abuse Resistance Education) program. Eleven percent of parents of children younger than 18 have smoked pot in the last year, according to a 2006 RoperASW survey for Partnership for a Drug Free America. Only 51 percent of parents said they'd be upset if their kids experimented with weed.
But do you tell your kids that?
The debate over how to have what the latest federal anti-drug campaign calls "these crucial conversations" about pot sounds similar to the disagreement over how to teach sex education.
On one hand are the absolutists who say abstinence is the only option. Do not have sex. Period. The other approach preaches abstinence first, but also teaches children about safe sex.
With pot, the zero-tolerance crowd says that when you talk to your kids about drugs, abstinence is the only option. Do not smoke pot. End of story. On the other side, led by activists and educators in California, is an approach called "Safety First: A Reality-Based Approach to Teens and Drugs."
They agree abstinence is the first and best option. But after parents lay out the dangers of drug and alcohol use, they encourage them to talk to their children about "responsible use." Moderation. Parents should tell their children that if they're curious, they will help them find out about the effects of certain drugs and explain how to recognize irresponsible behavior "when it comes to place, time, dose levels and frequency of use." The California state PTA has distributed more than 200,000 copies of the 26-page "Safety First" booklet since 2002.
"Sometimes saying, 'You cannot do this,' doesn't work with children. This is a fallback position," said Pat Klotz, vice president for health for the California PTA. The Anaheim grandmother and registered nurse acknowledges that some of her more conservative Orange County neighbors aren't pleased with the approach, "but we think 'Safety First' is a more realistic approach about drugs."
The federal government doesn't.
"It (Safety First) is quite defeatist," said Bertha Madras, deputy director for demand reduction at the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, the department charged with weaning America off the pipe. "It says that we can't really get a handle on this issue, so let's just accept casual use."
Granted, the feds and pot activists have long disagreed on the scientific evidence on the dangers of marijuana use. And that disagreement leads to a fundamental one over how to talk to kids about drugs.
Any discussion of "recreational" pot-smoking parents is a nonstarter for Madras. Her definition of "recreation" doesn't include mind-altering illegal substances. So don't bother equating the dope smoker's belief that a hit of pot to relax after work is no different than a glass of wine.
"A glass of wine does not intoxicate most people. A glass of wine is a relaxant," said Madras, who is on leave as a professor of psychiatry at Harvard University. "People, when they smoke marijuana, they're not just relaxing. They're laughing louder, their appetite is increased, they are hearing things differently than normal. There's a whole range of distorted perceptions and distorted behaviors that come with that.''
Parents: the Antidrug, a Web site launched by the White House Office of National Drug Control Policy, offers this example of how parents can explain past marijuana use. In this scenario, Chris, the son, tells his dad that he tried smoking pot:
Dad: "Thanks for being honest with me. But I have to say I'm really disappointed to hear that. There can be serious consequences when you use drugs, even marijuana. You're putting yourself in danger and you could jeopardize your future."
Chris: "Whatever, Dad. That's just way over the top. Besides, you told me before that you smoked pot in college and you turned out just fine. So what's the big deal?"
Dad: "I did use it, and now I regret it. Looking back, I can see that I was lucky that nothing bad happened to me. I've seen plenty of bad things happen to other people and I don't want that to happen to you. It's just because I love you. You're much younger than I was when I tried it. The younger you use, the more damage you could do to your brain or your body."
But that's past pot use. What's a current pot-smoking parent to do? Saying "Do as I say, not as I do" is hypocritical, Madras said.
"Children really do see things in black-and-white," Madras said. "A parent cannot say that 'I am unique, I'm special, I can get away with it, but you shouldn't.' That doesn't resonate with kids."
Hiding that bag of weed in the closet isn't a good idea, either. Madras said parents have to get over "their own guilt about their past or their current use. There is a barrier that they have to break through." She urged parents to look at their behavior and see what impact it has on their children.
In many cases, parents aren't saying anything. Fewer than one in three teens say they learned about drug risks at home, according to the Roper study.
The "Safety First" approach tries to get teens to tune back into the conversation by being less absolutist. First, parents should lay out the dangers of drug and alcohol use. Tell them that they'll be there to answer any questions and even research the effects of various drugs. And then, parents should accept that no matter what they warn their children about, risk-taking is natural to teenagers.
"Teens who do use alcohol, marijuana and/or other drugs must understand there is a huge difference between use and abuse, and between occasional and daily use," according to "Safety First."
"If young people continue, despite our admonitions to use alcohol and/or other drugs, they must control their use by practicing moderation and limiting use. It is impossible to do well academically or meet one's responsibilities at work while intoxicated."
There's a thirst for an approach that doesn't end at "Just Say No," said "Safety First" author Rosenbaum. And more information may soon be on the way.
Mitch Earleywine is an associate professor of psychology at the State University of New York in Albany and a favorite of the pro-marijuana crowd for his books like, "Understanding Marijuana: A New Look at the Scientific Evidence." The working title for his next book is, "A Parents' Guide to Marijuana," and his inspiration came from a very personal place.
Earleywine is 43 and has been smoking pot since he was 15. Now that the professor has two young children, there have been some uncomfortable situations at home. Like when his kids see him sparking up a vaporizer, a tabletop device that creates a smokeless drag of marijuana.
"When my daughter comes in and sees me vaporizing, well, I can only tell her it's a night light for so long," Earleywine said.
Yet Earleywine often has trouble finding government funding for his studies, let alone subjects to participate in them, even just to answer questions. One of his most recent published reports relied on respondents answering questions over the Internet.
Many high-achieving, occasional pot smokers are -- no stoner joke intended -- paranoid about the consequences of coming out. While studies say that 100 million Americans have tried marijuana and 11 states have some kind of medical cannabis legislation, that has done little to remove the stigma of pot smoking. Or the fear of having law enforcement knock on your door if you discuss it publicly.
The Chronicle contacted a couple of pro-marijuana advocacy organizations to try to find people who fit this profile and were willing to go on the record. One advocate e-mailed the request to like-minded souls, but included a disclaimer: "I should say, I don't know what the legal implications might be for going on record."
"It's almost easier to talk about it if you are a medicinal marijuana user, because then you have a reason that is seen as more socially acceptable," said Helen Nunberg, a Santa Cruz physician who sees hundreds of medical marijuana patients. "I would think people don't think it's secret, it's just private."
Woe to the person who tries to grab that third rail of the third rail of even talking about marijuana in a sympathetic way, especially when it comes to children. Ask Ricardo Cortes.
Two years ago, the New York resident wrote and illustrated a children's book called "It's Only a Plant: A Children's Story About Marijuana." Although not a parent himself, Cortes was inspired to write it by several high-functioning, pot-smoking friends who were wrestling with this dilemma about how to reconcile their illegal dope smoking with their parental duties. Publishers wouldn't touch it and neither would most major chain retailers, so Cortes self-published it.
In it, a young girl named Jackie woke up past her bedtime one night, opened her parents' bedroom door, and saw them smoking a joint. Her dad explains that it is a plant.
The next day, the girl's mother takes her to see a farmer -- and pot grower -- named Farmer Bob. He doesn't smoke marijuana (it makes him sleepy), but explains that "doctors, teachers, artists, actors, even mayors and presidents" smoke this "flower."
Then they visit a doctor, who explains that "marijuana is for adults who can use it responsibly." It "is definitely not for children." Jackie's mom agrees and said, "Marijuana is for grown-ups. Like driving a car or drinking a glass of wine. You can make a choice to try it or not when you are an adult."
Conservative politicians and media types couldn't have asked for a fluffier pinata to beat on for a few news cycles. It was denounced by Republican Rep. Mark Souder, R-Ind. who called it a "pro-marijuana children's book" and read excerpts into the Congressional Record.
Cortes, 33, did the rounds of the chat shows, including Fox's "The O'Reilly Factor" and took his lumps for its sympathetic portrayal of the drug (radio hosts would play trippy sitar music as he talked). But he was trying to make a point that pot smoking parents make only privately.
Sold largely online through Cortes' self-publishing company and as a kitschy offering at the Urban Outfitters chain, "It's Only a Plant" has sold 6,000 copies. He's working on translating it into five languages.
"I kind of enjoy all of those conversations," Cortes said. "That's what it takes to get something changed in this culture. More talk, talk, talk, talk."
Newshawk: CoZmO - 420Magazine.com
Source: San Francisco Chronicle (CA)
Author: Joe Garofoli
Contact: jgarofoli@sfchronicle.com
Copyright: 2007 Hearst Communications Inc.
Website: SF Gate: San Francisco Bay Area
Good read, thanks.
