Another Drug War Victim

No, not down, but we do get frustrated. I gave them all an earfull last week (we only have 4 cops and 3 dispatchers, lol) since they were all sitting there, what I thought of their communication skills. They have been a lot nicer since then!
Thanks so much for your input. There are still caring people out there.

:smokin:
 
What a sad story! I'm not a praying man, but through misty eyes I did say a prayer on your behalf. I don't know of the betrayal you have faced, but have experienced the heartache that teenage love can cause. My daughter now says, "daddy, why didn't I listen to you?" And things are OK. There is hope for your girl. There will come a time when she really understands how much she needs her mom. Be ready with caution and forgiveness.
 
You know you should probably have the kid tested for drugs. that would pretty much blow the credibility of the kid's statement if they come back clean. The cops were kind of dumb to include that since it could be easily disproved. If she doesn't have drugs in her system then how could you have forced drugs on the lying POS.
 
The kids were tested for drugs because she told them we "forced her to do drugs" but her credibility was blown before she ever got started.....because she smoked w/bf and told everyone that he provided it to her, but of course she didn't realize that at the time.
It will all be fine we are just in the waiting part of this. The state needs to give us the rest of the evidence and then we can move to dismiss, thus we are waiting because they haven't sent it over yet. :(
Thanks for you input tho, much appreciated.

:smokin:
 
Wow. That is convoluted. Whatever you do, don't plead it out. Doesn't sound like they have much on you. You should consider filign a complaint against the boyfriend for supplying her (a minor) with drugs and then admit her to a rehab facility for her admitted use. Generally, you can't get out of a rehab facility until you submit to the program. The records form a rehab facility might provide you with some significant ammunition if you have to go to court. I'm sure the last thing a prosecutor would want to bring to court is a teenager who just got out of rehab. Who knows, it might even do her some good. Nothing betetr than spending about 6 months trapped in some far away place with real crackheads.

BTW, don't expect this to be over any time soon. In a former life, I was charged with a non-drug related misdemeanor and it took me three years and 3 different ADA's before they dismissed it. There is no such thing as a speedy trial. If anything, remember you can always benefit from delaying your trial as much as possible. This works particularly well in rural jurisdictions where judges are part time. Good luck. I wish you the best.
 
I can't believe this has happened to ya'll . I hope the kid sees the wrong in this , and never does it again . Good luck MV & Alaska Lady .
 
jeeper said:
I can't believe this has happened to ya'll . I hope the kid sees the wrong in this , and never does it again . Good luck MV & Alaska Lady .
Click to expand...

Nah, they never learn. Only thing they can do is cut the kid off. She has demonstrated herself as severe liability at this point.

If it were me, I would move, change my name, and get a new phone number. I'd just pretend she died in a fiery car crash and in six months I'd probably believe it too.

At some point you have to push the kids from the nest even if it means elevating the nest to an obscene height and using a pitch fork to get them over the edge. I think she's asking for it.
 
She has gone to treatment, and back out a couple of times now. You would think after the first time that she wouldve learned, but apparently not. Which is very unfortunate. She is not learning from her experiences, she is learning how to work her way around them, without taking any of the consequences. It is purely manipulation and defiance.
She is a severe liability at this point and maybe sometime in her future she will realize what she has done, and apologize, but it will be very difficult for either of us to trust her ever again and welcome her back, if ever.
We are planning to move, but want to set this behind us first. Now we have been marked in the community (and its a little community) and thats not an easy thing to live with. Those who want what we have, will be coming out of the woodwork, and those who dont agree will shun us. Already there are those that wont even look at us on the street now, and I thought they were our friends. But I understand that part f it is because they dont want everyone else to believe that they are a part of it either.
This too shall pass, and we will be happier when its all done and over. Maybe by the end of the year, and we can have a Happy Christmas and New Year. Something to celebrate.
She will not be welcome in our home, and she is difinetely not welcome back in town. Unfortunate for her that she choose to go this way. I am sad and hurt, but I believe this is the best way, and that is all I can do as a parent. Make the best choice for her AND my family as a whole.
 
Do you just not like kids or what? Do you even have any? You don't even sound old enough to have any kind of life experiences to draw from regarding your comments.
Because as a parent, I can tell you that those kind of decisions do NOT come lightly nor easily. I am so torn up inside over this whole ordeal, and it is even worse when my own child is so happy she got what she wanted. It is just as if she had died and I have lost her forever. I hope someday she comes to the realization that I have always tried to be a good parent and that I love her still. I can forgive her, I just don't know if we will ever have a personal relationship ever again. Losing a child, by making this decision, is THE hardest thing I have had to do, so far in my life. I truly hope NO ONE has to go thru the same thing, but unfortunately I know they will and I feel so sorry for them.
 
I apologize. I'm a bit of an emotional robot.

My wife and I had a long standing agreement not to have children. We're both in our early 30's and only interact with my parents about twice a year. They were very irresponsible with their finances, so they had to go. It's unfortunate, but I don't let anyone drag me down. It's been this way for approximately 12 years ever since I caught my parents stealing money from me. My wife's family lives abroad and due to cultural differences, her desire for a career, and her mother's destructive mental illness, she visits them only once a year. I believe she only exchanges email and an occasional phone call with her sister.

Generally, it's best to hold those around you to a certain standard, communicate it effectively, and be willing to remove them from the picture if they don't conform. Attempting to change people usually fails and ultimately it's not worth the ongoing turmoil. Isolating yourself from destructive relationships is certainly a healthy alternative to constantly battling with people oven stressful situations.

One of the biggest problems with today is that people tend to put their children first, family second, and spouses third. Most psychologists will tell you that the healthiest marriages usually prioritize these groups/people in reverse.

You shouldn't beat youself up over your daughter. She certainly isn't dead. Unfortunately, she has put you in a position where you must isolate yourself from her for the good of your spouse and current family. It's not as if you can't talk to her on the phone, exchange cards at Xmas, or see each other at larger family events. Moving forward, you just have to decide which portions of your life she will have access to and which portions will be denied. Usually, it's best to do so while avoiding conflict. Who knows, maybe someday she could wise up and you may be able to open some parts of your life back up to her. The possiblity is always there, but it should not be something you actively pursuit. It sounds like it's her turn to figure out what's really going on. For now, you need to take care of your immediate needs. Your daughter can obviously take care of herself at this point.
 
There was a time when I chose to isolate myself from my daughter. It was hard, but my love for her never waivered. However, I felt I would lose my daughter forever if I didn't reach out to her and we now have a wonderful relationship. (She never called the cops on us.) Usually when I follow my heart, things seem to work out.
 
I sometimes take things wrong to, so I must apologize also. I was having a bad day emotionally and read way more into what you were saying than i think you intended. She is definitley self centered and has a keen sense of self-preservation also, so I am worried about her but not extremely. I have closed off my life from her and do not have any contact at this moment. Someday maybe, but it certainly wont be any time soon. It may be different if she would show any kind of remorse or regrets, but so far she is just happy she is getting her way. Perhaps in time she will see the errors she has made.

Thanks again for being supportive, I do appreciate it.
 
UPDATE: We had court yesterday, pre-trial conference hearing.

The state still has not handed over all the evidence they supossedly have so therefore we have to wait until December 3rd to have our next pre-trial conference to see if we are ready to go to trial yet. The Judge stated that if the eveidence has not been turned over to us by then, that Rule 45 would be in effect and then they have even less time to get it done. If they don't get it to us by then, all charges could be dropped for lack of evidence. That would be nice but I am tired of waiting.

This means that MV and I cannot be together yet. :( But we spend all our time hunting together, which was allowed, with no 3rd party, so we are taking our time getting my Moose. I have until October 31st to shoot, so I am not rushing things. :)

Thanks again everyone.
 
Hey, no worries. You must be incredibly stressed with this whole situation. My responses were probably much more brief than they could of been. I totally understand the reaction. It's not a problem at all.

It sounds like your case is moving along. This thing will probably take a good 6 months or so to resolve. It really depends on the size of the court, if the judges are full time, and how many people are arrested on felonies and not out on bail. Once you are out on bail, your trial date loses priority since anyone who is incarcerated is scheduled before you and can bump every one of the dates that gets set.

A lot of people find the delays frustrating, but if you stall and delay as much as possible then it actually hurts the prosecution's case over time. If you can drag a case on for years, all sorts of wonderful things happen like DA's and ADA's moving on to new jobs, witnesses moving away and becoming unwilling to travel back to testify, and an overall staleness in the case.

Personally, I think dealing with the lawyers is the worse part of all this stuff. Some of these criminal defense lawyers are real scumbags. Many of them have a real racket going to bilk fees out of clients.

On another note, I was wondering - once you bag a moose, how do you get it out of the woods and back to your truck? That seems like a pretty heavy animal for two people to drag out. Do you have to use an ATV or something?
 
Thanks. It seems the longer we have had to wait the more we find out things that should work in our favor. On one hand I am glad for that but on the other...I do wish it was over allready and we can get back to our life.

Once we knock a moose down, we winch it to the airboat and then we have a collapsable crane we hook to the winch and lift it into the airboat. If we cant use the winch then its halves or quarters and we carry it to the airboat or the truck whichever can be closer. Good thing we have some strong friends, LOL We have large cranes on the docks that we will then lift it out of the airboat and into the air, then we skin it and quarter it, load it onto a flat trailer and bring it home to hang in the can (40ft metal storage container) and clean the meat of all dirt and hair. We let it hang from 3-6 days and then we butcher, package and put it in the freezer. The next best part of the whole thing is the eating part! And voila' we have a full freezer and we dont have to buy meat at the store. It is alot of work but it is also very rewarding. We are the only ones to add anything to the meat, therefore it is healthier than the processed meat in the grocery's meat department.
 

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