5-Panel

[WthAmIDoing]

Urine Test Nov. 19th 5-Panel

5’8, 200lbs. Slightly fluffy
Regular smoker for 1+ years (1-2 grams a day)

Haven’t smoked in a week and i have been “detoxing” like crazy. Sweating (working out & Sauna), Apple Cider vinegar 2x a day, & drinking a gallon of water a day. I plan on taking a detox drink the day of the test.

What are my odds of passing? I’m freaking out since this is for school

 

[WickedGarden]

From what I have read, a lot of exercise won’t do you any good. THC is stored in fat cells. Personally, I think you should maintain your weight and maybe do some weight gaining for the 2 weeks before the test. Don’t overdue it with hydrating the day of. Or hydrate and take Vitamin B2 to make your diluted urine yellow. Some say drinking lots of cranberry juice (dilute your gallon per day of water half and half) helps.
Finally, there are calculators available online that take several factors specific to you into account and give you a percentage chance for pass. They take into account the experience of thousands of other uses who input data before and after testing.
I’m guessing you will have a 60-65% chance of passing. Keep up your protocol until you have the test results because if you test positive you can ask for a retest, but the retest might be more sensitive.
Also, I would go to the pharmacy and get some over the counter drug tests to test yourself at home for peace of mind.

 

[WickedGarden]

Regarding fat cells, my point is that breaking down fat releases THC into your system.

 

[WickedGarden]

Last suggestion: you still have time to order a prosthetic penis and synthetic urine. Chances are nobody is going to be watching you so closely that you cannot get away with employing this method.

 

[MassMedMan]

Get a sub. I've heard it works great.

No offense to the fake weiner and fake pee. But, that's a lot of work.

You can look up the ways to do it but hand warmers and a small kid's thermometer with some clean pee is all you need.

And some nerve,, but it's not like the military they're probably not standing on top of you.

You won't pass, it's only been a week and working out, like had been said, is not helping you.

Find someone that doesn't smoke. Said with a straight face.....

But seriously, get a sub.
Don't have to be the same sex either,, I've heard....

 

[WthAmIDoing]

Get a sub. I've heard it works great.

No offense to the fake weiner and fake pee. But, that's a lot of work.

You can look up the ways to do it but hand warmers and a small kid's thermometer with some clean pee is all you need.

And some nerve,, but it's not like the military they're probably not standing on top of you.

You won't pass, it's only been a week and working out, like had been said, is not helping you.

Find someone that doesn't smoke. Said with a straight face.....

But seriously, get a sub.
Don't have to be the same sex either,, I've heard....

Honestly I’m believing that is my best bet. I’ll have them piss in a condom then I’ll just wrap it around my leg to keep it warm haha. He isn’t a smoker and is actually a very fit guy so he’s most likely the go-to. I just purchased a 14-Day Detox called “The Cleaner”. I’m almost positive it won’t give me the results I’m looking for but i might as well clean out my system while I’m at it right.. haha. Never attempted Sub but i do know it’s not supervised so that’s good!

 

[MassMedMan]

I'l tell a funny story,, first time I subbed or had to was about six months before I got out of the Corps. I knew I was getting out and I knew I was in a unit that the chances were low.

So, I smoked a few times with some "civilians" I knew.

I found out about the piss test the day or two before, not normal. But, I had notice thanks to the type of command I was in.

This was long before the internet. So I was pretty much on my own to figure it out how to pass it. Or get kicked out if I failed.

I got some clean pee from someone I worked with while I was moonlighting checking ID's at a nightclub.

Kept the pee in a mountain dew bottle until I came up with my idea to dispense it.

In the Corps, they pretty much look at your junk while you're pissing. So my idea was to fill a balloon with pee, then I'd attach a small tube long enough to run down to my junk which was blocked off with a qtip. I put the balloon in my armpit, basically, but taped around my chest. Lol. It was warmed by my body.

I ran the tubing from the balloon down to my junk and it was hidden by my pt gear. My thought was I'd unplug it then squeeze on it with my arm, sorta.

First attempt, couldn't get the qtip that out easy, then I couldn't get any flow. Told the pecker checker I had stage fright and went back to my room to make repairs.

Came back down an hour later.

Got it done. Passed the test.

Didn't smoke again until the day I got out.

Good luck!

 

[WthAmIDoing]

H

I'l tell a funny story,, first time I subbed or had to was about six months before I got out of the Corps. I knew I was getting out and I knew I was in a unit that the chances were low.

So, I smoked a few times with some "civilians" I knew.

I found out about the piss test the day or two before, not normal. But, I had notice thanks to the type of command I was in.

This was long before the internet. So I was pretty much on my own to figure it out how to pass it. Or get kicked out if I failed.

I got some clean pee from someone I worked with while I was moonlighting checking ID's at a nightclub.

Kept the pee in a mountain dew bottle until I came up with my idea to dispense it.

In the Corps, they pretty much look at your junk while you're pissing. So my idea was to fill a balloon with pee, then I'd attach a small tube long enough to run down to my junk which was blocked off with a qtip. I put the balloon in my armpit, basically, but taped around my chest. Lol. It was warmed by my body.

I ran the tubing from the balloon down to my junk and it was hidden by my pt gear. My thought was I'd unplug it then squeeze on it with my arm, sorta.

First attempt, couldn't get the qtip that out easy, then I couldn't get any flow. Told the pecker checker I had stage fright and went back to my room to make repairs.

Came back down an hour later.

Got it done. Passed the test.

Didn't smoke again until the day I got out.

Good luck!

Haha I love it man! Good thing you passed and was able to continue your future. Now my next venture is figuring out how to “finesse” this. I can go and buy a damn pouch or I can find some makeshift way that doesn’t look obvious . I was thinking a condom and use a thumbtack to poke it. I’ll buy a pack and give it some dry runs

 

[MassMedMan]

If nobody is watching,, go get a new travel shampoo container. You don't want to break that condom at the wrong time. Lots of kids running around from that.

That and a hand warmer with a temp thing. That's big the temp needs to be within a range.

Buying a condom.... lol I guess that would work but make sure it ain't lubed.....

 

[WthAmIDoing]

If nobody is watching,, go get a new travel shampoo container. You don't want to break that condom at the wrong time. Lots of kids running around from that.

That and a hand warmer with a temp thing. That's big the temp needs to be within a range.

Buying a condom.... lol I guess that would work but make sure it ain't lubed.....

Haha imagine if i put it in a Fire&Ice Trojan condom. I was afraid of using containers but i just may do so! I’ll have him pee in the parking lot then I’ll take it in fresh

 

[MassMedMan]

Containers work great. Much more secure then a condom. Second time i had a test after being a smoker and my wife subbed for me,, and I think she was pregnant.

Just get some clean pee and keep it around body temperature.

Good luck. Let us know!