S.o.s. Please help!

[allineedis]

So here's the deal... I have spent over 3 hours online tonight leafing through these forums on how to pass a drug test and I still haven't found one clear, concise answer. Some threads say to work out avidly, while others say not to work out at all up to a week before... Well, that doesn't work for me because I have a drug test a week from now (government issued, no joke) and I was just planning on getting clean pee from a friend until I found out that most clinics nowadays will watch you pee. So, from what I gather, I'm f*cked.

Here are some pertinent details that apply to my case, specifically:

I am female, about 5"6, 145 lbs. and a regular smoker (3 blunts a week). The last day I smoked was last Wednesday (9/20) and my drug test is next Wednesday (9/3). So, I stopped smoking a week ago, started working out (burning 500 calories a day at least) and eating less than 1000 calories a day of healthy foods (fruits/veggies/brans/etc.) I have been drinking a sh*t ton of water and green tea and I started taking niacin (500 mg) once a day (I can't handle anymore than that) and B vitamins as well as Raspberry Ketone tablets and Green Coffee Bean pills (apparently they burn fat, who knows).

I WAS THINKING OF BUYING A 7 DAY DETOX from GNC (because I don't have time to buy one online or go head shop to head shop perusing the aisles) but I don't want to spend $50 on a detox and have it not work, and from what I read online, a lot of the detoxes from GNC don't work. EITHER WAY I DON'T WANT A DETOX THAT YOU TAKE THE DAY OF, I heard from my counselor that they have ways to test for that.

I guess my specific questions are:
1. Should I spend my money on a 7 day detox? And, if so, which one? (Keep in mind I don't have time to order online).
2. Are there any other at home remedies that I can use in addition to the ones I'm already using?
3. When should I stop working out?
4. How can I pass this drug test?

PLEASE HELP ME!!!

 

[Weed420]

They never look at you pee unless they have reasonable suspicion that you're trying to cheat, don't give them any. Or if you're under a court order.
If its just for employment synthetic urine will work just fine. The government has to follow their own protocols. Just practice a little keeping the temp in range and you'll be fine.
You don't really have enough time to get clean. I would switch to a high fat red meat diet 3 days before the test though to stop burning fat cells where the thc resides, just in case you have to use your own urine. And use dilution the morning of the test.

 

[allineedis]

They never look at you pee unless they have reasonable suspicion that you're trying to cheat, don't give them any. Or if you're under a court order.
If its just for employment synthetic urine will work just fine. The government has to follow their own protocols. Just practice a little keeping the temp in range and you'll be fine.
You don't really have enough time to get clean. I would switch to a high fat red meat diet 3 days before the test though to stop burning fat cells where the thc resides, just in case you have to use your own urine. And use dilution the morning of the test.

Yeah unfortunately it's court ordered

 

[Weed420]

For a court oreder drug test I would not try to cheat. Its an immediate felony if you get caught.
I would switch to a red meat high fat diet till after the test and stop all exercising.
Drink 36 ounces of gatorade the morning of the test
Pee 3 or 4 times before the test
When taking the test
Pee a little in the toilet first
Pee 2 ounces in the collection cup
Pee the rest in the toilet.
This is about all you can do.