hey folks,
So I just joined - good to meet you - and I was hoping to bounce some thoughts off of you, here in this pleasantly anonymous setting.
Cannabis + disapproving significant others. Ah, that ol' chestnut. Purging rant-like thing to follow.
As I have really no one to talk with about this, I'll put it to my smokey peers to volunteer advice. Long story short, I just started smoking again, about six years into my relationship with my wife. No hazy/blazy smokefest like my college days, but a few puffs off my oney every night or so. Truth be told, that's all I can handle at this point. Anything more gets me WAY too high. Something about my metabolism changing affected the way my body works w/ cannabis... but anyways..
So my wife is struggling with a serious double standard. She's been brainwashed - like many - into a deep-rooted disapproval of [my] cannabis use, though she eagerly supports legalization/etc. Intellectually, she understands, but the emotions get involved and she loses any semblance of rationality...
The double standard persists through the casual acceptance of drug use when alcohol is in question, yet a mention of having a bag of weed brings about an all-night passive/aggressive shitstorm. Fuck. She'd rather no one do anything, but accepts that people will do drugs - again, she supports the end of prohibition - yet in our personal life, she insists on drilling into this deep-seated friction with my own extremely moderate cannabis use.
It drives me crazy. She's a doll - love her to pieces, we have two wonderful kids and a perfect life with no bullshit. I like to have a drink everyone now and then, and a smoke at night. Truth be told, I certainly prefer to have some sort of substance as a night cap every day, but my substance use has NEVER brought any negative repercussions on our life. Seriously - nothing. I never get hammered, never too stoned; my possession of cannabis is well within my state's decrim law - so there's nothing there. Remember too, that as a parent, you need to have your shit together ALWAYS. So I never compromise that responsibility with being too inebriated, whether it's alcohol or cannabis. You just never know when you might need to make a midnight run to the emergency room. That's what it's like with toddlers
You get my point - I've got my shit together. But for whatever reason, she's hell bent on making this is a HUGE issue. For no reason but her own disapproval. Now I'm on her shit list because I didn't alert her to a recent purchase. Which would've just gotten me on her shit list anyways. I can't win.
Are any of you in a similar position? I'd love to know what your approach has been to deal with this situation. I feel like she'll ease into it in time. But it makes me feel like shit at the moment. I don't even care if she partakes - I just don't want to feel like I'm being judged if I take a drag off my one-hitter every night...
She comes from a background where she's abused alcohol, and had some bad experiences from that abuse. Problems I've NEVER had, as I've always been responsible drug user. So I think she's projecting a bit - projecting not on alcohol, but on this demonized plant that we - as users - also share a stigma with. A very unfair stigma, to point out the obvious.
Sucks man. I'm 30 years old and will not be held to someone else's misinformed and selective set of moral standards. The more I think about the lies that have perpetuated about cannabis, the more indignant I become. and I embrace it. So ensues the head-to-head marital woes of cannaphobia.. (?)
Let me just say this one more time: I am an incredibly inconspicuous and responsible cannabis smoker. If I decide to fly under the radar, if you will, you can't tell I've got a buzz. No ganja smell, no red eyes - nothing. I follow the laws ( which is still weird to say!) and respect boundaries (no inviting wifey to a sweet smoke under the stars), so for zeus' sake - what's a man got to do to smoke a little herb without feeling judged?!
just looking for diplomatic solutions. Or approaches. Whatever. Just need some casual yet thoughtful input. Thanks folks!
So I just joined - good to meet you - and I was hoping to bounce some thoughts off of you, here in this pleasantly anonymous setting.
Cannabis + disapproving significant others. Ah, that ol' chestnut. Purging rant-like thing to follow.
As I have really no one to talk with about this, I'll put it to my smokey peers to volunteer advice. Long story short, I just started smoking again, about six years into my relationship with my wife. No hazy/blazy smokefest like my college days, but a few puffs off my oney every night or so. Truth be told, that's all I can handle at this point. Anything more gets me WAY too high. Something about my metabolism changing affected the way my body works w/ cannabis... but anyways..
So my wife is struggling with a serious double standard. She's been brainwashed - like many - into a deep-rooted disapproval of [my] cannabis use, though she eagerly supports legalization/etc. Intellectually, she understands, but the emotions get involved and she loses any semblance of rationality...
The double standard persists through the casual acceptance of drug use when alcohol is in question, yet a mention of having a bag of weed brings about an all-night passive/aggressive shitstorm. Fuck. She'd rather no one do anything, but accepts that people will do drugs - again, she supports the end of prohibition - yet in our personal life, she insists on drilling into this deep-seated friction with my own extremely moderate cannabis use.
It drives me crazy. She's a doll - love her to pieces, we have two wonderful kids and a perfect life with no bullshit. I like to have a drink everyone now and then, and a smoke at night. Truth be told, I certainly prefer to have some sort of substance as a night cap every day, but my substance use has NEVER brought any negative repercussions on our life. Seriously - nothing. I never get hammered, never too stoned; my possession of cannabis is well within my state's decrim law - so there's nothing there. Remember too, that as a parent, you need to have your shit together ALWAYS. So I never compromise that responsibility with being too inebriated, whether it's alcohol or cannabis. You just never know when you might need to make a midnight run to the emergency room. That's what it's like with toddlers
You get my point - I've got my shit together. But for whatever reason, she's hell bent on making this is a HUGE issue. For no reason but her own disapproval. Now I'm on her shit list because I didn't alert her to a recent purchase. Which would've just gotten me on her shit list anyways. I can't win.
Are any of you in a similar position? I'd love to know what your approach has been to deal with this situation. I feel like she'll ease into it in time. But it makes me feel like shit at the moment. I don't even care if she partakes - I just don't want to feel like I'm being judged if I take a drag off my one-hitter every night...
She comes from a background where she's abused alcohol, and had some bad experiences from that abuse. Problems I've NEVER had, as I've always been responsible drug user. So I think she's projecting a bit - projecting not on alcohol, but on this demonized plant that we - as users - also share a stigma with. A very unfair stigma, to point out the obvious.
Sucks man. I'm 30 years old and will not be held to someone else's misinformed and selective set of moral standards. The more I think about the lies that have perpetuated about cannabis, the more indignant I become. and I embrace it. So ensues the head-to-head marital woes of cannaphobia.. (?)
Let me just say this one more time: I am an incredibly inconspicuous and responsible cannabis smoker. If I decide to fly under the radar, if you will, you can't tell I've got a buzz. No ganja smell, no red eyes - nothing. I follow the laws ( which is still weird to say!) and respect boundaries (no inviting wifey to a sweet smoke under the stars), so for zeus' sake - what's a man got to do to smoke a little herb without feeling judged?!
just looking for diplomatic solutions. Or approaches. Whatever. Just need some casual yet thoughtful input. Thanks folks!
