Your stoner quotes

The first time me and my friends got high together was at my friend's cabin, and she went to go to bed with the bag of doritos, about half full. I went into her room to say goodnight and asked her why she had them, and she just laid there hugging them saying "I looooove doritos. And sleep. Doritos and sleep." In the morning the bag of doritos was empty. :]
 
Driving in the mountains, stoned out of my mind I randomly came up with the idea... "Guys, what do we have to live for, but to live?? "

It was hilarious - we didn't stop laughing for like 10 minutes. We weren't even talking about life or living. Gotta love random stoner thoughts.
 
The first time me and my friends got high together was at my friend's cabin, and she went to go to bed with the bag of doritos, about half full. I went into her room to say goodnight and asked her why she had them, and she just laid there hugging them saying "I looooove doritos. And sleep. Doritos and sleep." In the morning the bag of doritos was empty. :]

LMAO she was hugging the dorritos? thats a tad bit extreme, i think ;p
 
sitting in the cook out drive thru after smoking a gorilla finger i turned to my friend in the back seat and he begins to rap as fallows :
Your mom is a biotch
i wash my clothes in bleeotch
and my nose is full of sniotch

I than turn to my other friend in the passenger seat expecting him to be in the floor board laughing like me but instead i find he is chewing on his seat belt
I love lunch breaks
 
After just finishing a joint with my boyfriend we were watching a commercial on tv, it was the first time smoking of the day so we were really geeked, and it was the commercial with the dancing chocolate people and he just looked at me and said, "Don't you find something scary about dancing chocolate people?! Gah! They could melt all over you!!" Hahahaha geeked me the f**k out.
 
This is my quote. A quote that is mine.

"Drugs don't effect me... It's REALITY that fucks me up."

I had an artist friend of mine make me a t-shirt with the quote on it and pics of skulls and pot leaves, but it's long gone now. I miss it :(
If anyone wants to hijack it for their sig or whatever, feel free.
 
So me and my buddies were smoking some joints, and one of my friend says, "Hey guys is any one gonna let me out of this oven?, cuz I'm baked as fuck!" We all lost it. :D
 
My boy brandon always says the funniest shit.

Were boxing my truck infront of my house. We were talking about how motorcycles get stolen. 3 seconds later. I said that they have Vin #'s but theyre almost pointless.

Brandon "Rabbits dont have Vin #'s"
I look up and there are rabbits running across the street.....what a tard!

One night we were sitting there smokin a bleezy in his garage and he looks down and points at his left leg then his right leg saying "This leg is high, and this leg is high."
:bravo:

He has been voted hands down my favorite smoking buddy!
 
Keys in hand, walking to the door my friend says, "Ok, wait. Do we have any drugs on us?" And while we did bust out laughing we still both checked every pocket before we left!

The same night we got "GoodShit" Lollipops and I can't remember all the funny shit we said.
 
Dude, I dropped my pocket...........
 
:rofl:
Best. Quote. Ever.

glad you like it! couldnt remember what he actually dropped but I was pissing myself laughing after he said it. Good times!!:grinjoint:
 
Honestly ive had and heard hundreds, but the best one i can remember is when i was at taco bell with the munchies and some friends and when we gout our food my friend opened his burrito and just stayed at it and then drooled on the table and i said "did that burrito just make your mouth cum?" and we all busted out in hysterical laughter as every person in the vicinity stared at us as we uncontrollably laughed so hard that one of my friends thought he was going to throw up hahaha good day....
 
"how bout we just roll a fat doobster and pretend that we have a life and a dayjob, thats stressing us out"

a friend of mine and I, both jobless, smoking together, lame.
 
me and my frend were smokin bowls of og kush in my empty house and i whipped my nose with a tissue then proceeded to walk outside to "throw it away" we ended up walking around my block and we i realized how far we were i went "hey lets run home!" the best quote of the adventure tho was my frend randomly yelling "wolves! there after us!" so then we ran inside and he went "its ok dude we got away"
 
*friend (tristan) eating nachos at the movies with frend (kyle)*

Tristan: you can have a chip but no cheese
Kyle: can i have some cheese?
Tristan: no
Kyle: no like u dont understand i need the cheese
Tristan no
Kyle: no like u dont understand i really need it
Tristan: and you dont understand that ur a pussy and i cud beat u up
Kyle: no i understand i just like cheese

*ten min later tristan gets up*
Tristan: and btw kyle if u touch even a drop of my cheese i will hunt u down and murder u
 
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