Your stoner quotes

[DXM89]

I was smoking with a couple and the bf asks, "Do you want another GB?", to which his gf replies, totally serious, "No. I'll fall over."

Same night, after I do a GB my friend asks, "Are you ok? That was a huge hit!" I respond, "Not yet, but I'm confident that the future will provide... OKness.." Followed by howling laughter from everyone! Fun night, fun night.

 

[420 Owens]

Re: Your stoner quotes.

my girlfriend was mad at me one time and she was trying to send her anger through texts. of course, i was high and a girlfriend argument was the last thing i needed, especially if it meant reading confusing text messages. so i asked my brother what i should do and he said, "just text her and say, "sorry, my phone's dead." the sad thing was i spent 5 minutes typing it out on the phone before i realized what a dumb move that would be.

Haha, My girl came over the other day, and she was suppose to go back home to her mum (Takes care of her mum instead of the stupid care homes) We were high as hell on some amazing stuff and she sent a text saying some random crap I don't even remember. Anyways, After trying to type out the text for like 5 minutes we gave up cause she realized she had the tv remote...

 

[SkinnyChef]

Here is a stoner quote i have had to use too many times..

"SHIT...I SPILLED THE LAST BOWL!"

 

[OMGclonesAZ]

Saying to my freind lets waken bake BRO you get my hash and roll us up a fatty!!!!
half way through lighting it and a good pull later he says AH FUCK ...Im like what?
HES ALL, damn I picked up the wrong hash.... Me, Im smelling....
sniff sniffing the air@ HIM\ now Im pointing & laughing at himAhhh I said you rolled up my indica hash not the sativa hhhaaa haaa....
I'll wake you up at noon....

 

[bluedream420]

me and my brother went on a walk to smoke a joint like we usually did and we go and smoke our blunt and we get back to my house and we're sitting there watching t.v. for about 5 minutes and he looks up and says "dude...when the fuck did we get home?"

 

[bluedream420]

in class one day...

brandon: looks over and see a poster on the wall that says "You'll never forget what you learn." he repeats this aloud.
dylan: bullshit i forget something i learned everytime i hit the blunt.

 

[Llama]

You make me look really stoned

 

[CJtehDrummer]

I was with my buddy and it was the first time he was super baked, and we were chillin at this girls house on thew couch, and he looks over and he's eying my bag of McDonalds.

"Hey CJ...you gots anymore burgers?"
"What about your bag?"

He looks in his bag, he's got nothing.

"I got no more food."
"Hmm...I've got one more bacon cheeseburger..."

His eyes lighten up.

"Now, I'll give you this burger. But only on one condition. You must fund my next marijuana purchase!" (I'm just messin with him at this point)

He sits there for a while contemplating and then starts laughing.

"CJ I ain't buying a 20 dollar burger!"

For some reason we just started laughing and couldnt stop for like five minutes haha.

 

[CJtehDrummer]

Haha and one of my favorite ones. When I was like 11, of course before I wanted anything to do with pot, my dad comes home and goes upstairs. He approaches my mom and says

"Honey I've got like 100 pounds of pot in the back of my van."

Curious, because of all the times I've heard my dad say negative things about pot to my older brothers, I go to the garage and chance a peek into the back of the van. There is a brand new toilet for the new bathroom.

 

[DXM89]

My friend takes his new bong out from under the sink and says,

"My new SYN Bong. This is the weapon of a Jedi Knight. Not as clumsy or random as a blunt. An elegant weapon! From a more civilized age."

 

[bluedream420]

me and my brother were playing a game last night and i got pissed at him cause he hit me with a hatchet from all the way across the map

i threw my controller down and walked out and he said come on dude i barely killed you...

 

[Bruce Wheelman]

Hmm..."barely killed" is in the same category as "kind of pregnant" - it's an all or nothing situation - and I've heard both phrases

and

 

[ozarktsunami]

Do you want another hit?

 

[greengo840]

"So nobody has a lighter?"

and the timeless

"...what was I talking about?"

 

[medme]

where was i????

 

[Punx]

My friend while high - "you know if they market it right you could sell human shit in a box to kids."
This was followed by him acting out how a child would ask his parents for the shit in a box for a special treat.

 

[fish cake]

Im so high I could hunt ducks with a rake! HAPPY 420 EVERYONE!

 

[Punx]

What do you mean I can't smoke weed at a wedding?

 

[DXM89]

"You just went through the looking glass. Welcome to the other side."

^^ The Looking Glass ^^

 

[TorturedSoul]

Wow, do you hit that thing or drop a couple batteries into it and give it to your girlfriend? Either way, it looks like a winner!