Your stoner quotes

[DXM89]

"Are you ok?"
"Yeah, I just need some fresh air." Walks over to windows to breathe, and after a few seconds says, "There is no fresh air!!"

 

[branson111190]

Weed makes me smarter .
Proof being it helped me pass biology lol . I didnt understand some things but when of thought of them when i was stoned and understood so easily and wound up passing instead of falling

 

[Rawness]

Officer "Mind if i search you ?"

Me " i don't consent to searches "

 

[TenaciousKiM]

High School Graduation party..

"Are you High? Tom!!... look at your daughter!!!!!"

-My mother

Does that fall into a stoner quote? cause I was pretty baked when my mom and dad chewed me out that night... couldn't stop laughing... made them even angryer lol

 

[DXM89]

Officer "Mind if i search you ?"

Me " i don't consent to searches "

 

[branson111190]

Yes I'm high , but when I sober , you will still be ugly .

 

[bubblekarma]

Last week at Burger King. I told my friend I was going to act all gangsta at the drive in, and we are the whitest guys you know lol.

BK: "Order when ready"
Me: "Aight"
Me: "Yo lemme get da numba 1"
BK: "The number 1 combo?"
Me: "Yeah, dats da mutha fuckin Whopper, right?"
BK: "Yes sir"

 

[branson111190]

lol thats something i would do ... except if i was high , it would blow up in my face and backfire somehow . id prolly wind up using the 'N' word not realizing its a black guy and bitched out .

 

[Zaxbys]

So two funny things i remeber while smoking. First was me and my bro were blazed and walking thru the woods. He looks over and goes " dude did you see that?" "see what?" "i thought i saw a pony...but i was just hiiiiigh." lol we still laughed about that and second we we stoned outta our minds and we started playing left for dead 2 on my xbox. Were just layin in bed for 10 15 minures ajd finally he goes "dude how do you play this?" (hes never played lfd b4) to which i respond "oh sh*t, i thought we were watching tv" lol still cracks us up

 

[Bexta]

"I'm having thoughts so deep... I can't even think them."

"Imagine being us?"

Q: Are they the same size?
A: One is, one isn't.

 

[chubbzfat]

after 15 pages i decided to skip to the end so i didnt forget what my faves are dont know where i heard it so i dont know who to give credit to but i know i didnt think it up but here goes
Q. YOU GOOD!
A. Im so high on this chronic shit i hit ny head on a helicopter now im not knowing what to tell my doctor usually gets a laugh

This is one i live by

Man made beer god made weed who do you trust

 

[HempQueen420]

Re: Your stoner quotes.

Stoner Moment !
I was looking for sweet stoner quotes to put on facebook , &' clicked this website ! Then I wanted to reply to say a stoner quote , then I had to register &' completely forgot what I was gonna write ...

 

[Mic Righteous]

''We did it ......... nahhh we done it
stick 4 skins together and we bun it
under the door .... smell the cheese chummin
aslong as i got cro ill keep on............. f**kin''

 

[H-factor]

Dude where's the weed at
Dude you smoked it all
Oooooooo my bad

 

[SmokingAdams]

Good ones

"If i were an indian chieftain back before white people killed everyone I'd be Chief Potsalot."

"How much pot you got?" "Idk, about half a gram. It's okay though, I'm self-sufficient."

"I feel like this stuff is deep-sea fucking my mind..."

"It's stoner theory, it might be true."

Hey that sounds like a pretty good deal. Oh wait, no, that's porn"

"Why do we call vaginas pussy? They don't sound anything like cats!"

"I get sketchy when I'm naked."

 

[Hobos Bandaid]

Re: Your stoner quotes.

this was written on a masturbation log, dont ask lol....

"does or does not there exsist the common or...."