TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage 1

[Shawnee]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Tassie, don't get down on yourself at my expense....I'm as awkward as they come, you know that already...give me a moment to think twice about it and I'll duck and dive my way out...still working on that.....don't mind me either....

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

No worries sis, I've been a brother to many women before too, that's familiar, that's a role I know how to do

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

OH so, that all went well then :0

...nuttin to see hear folks....


So, damn it's cold. Had the heater on for 2 hours and still 48. The room is around 72 at the moment. Its been sitting at 75, with daytime temps helping that up...well if daytime temps go up that is


There's an organic and sustainable farm expo in our area today. It's sunday, and has always been called family day, so we're all off to that today. It's cold....clear sky's overnight. So today will be a gem like yesterday, just tasmanian gem..ie may maybe 72.

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.

My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way
When you're in love to stay.

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is what I feel when we're together,
Brighter than a lucky penny,
When you're near the rain cloud disappears, dear,
And I feel so fine just to know that you are mine.

My life is sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
That's how this refrain goes, so come on, join in everybody!

Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows,
Everything that's wonderful is sure to come your way
'Cause you're in love, you're in love,
And love is here to stay!

 

[Shawnee]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Jesus, Tassie, you're giving me a belly ache

 

[Dennise]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Don't stop the protective thing Tas... That's what brought me to my fella... plain and simply... he makes me feel safe and I hadn't for a very long time until he came along... there's never been a secret about that anywhere....

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

I know that song off by heart....it's just so damn happy

 

[Dennise]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Hummm I don't know... It sounds more like you need to take a laxative.... Don't worry... Be Happy.....

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Don't stop the protective thing Tas... That's what brought me to my fella... plain and simply... he makes me feel safe and I hadn't for a very long time until he came along... there's never been a secret about that anywhere....

Hey Dennise, I understand my protective thing, where it comes from and the behaviour.

I like it, I will always be the protector of the week, children, animals, those who have no voice or are outnumbered or are unfairly treated.

I don't care if it's PTSD. It's a part of Adam which I wish to keep. My big compassionate heart.




That's my positive self talk for the day...that was exhausting


oh...and thanks mate

 

[Shawnee]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Hey Dennise, I understand my protective thing, where it comes from and the behaviour.

I like it, I will always be the protector of the week, children, animals, those who have no voice or are outnumbered or are unfairly treated.

I don't care if it's PTSD. It's a part of Adam which I wish to keep. My big compassionate heart.




That's my positive self talk for the day...that was exhausting


oh...and thanks mate

exhausted from positive self talk Don't ever stop laughing at yourself......I do it all day long....


yes, Dennise, that first BF that taught me to hunt and fish made me feel very protected and that's a good thing for girls to feel....safe....something very primal about that....don't think I've felt that since....

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

I'm here sis, I got ya

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

lights off...I dunno bout these buds...I got a feeling I'm holding them back again....end week 4, I'm in a rush....so any thoughts...sorry about the pics...not real good. Bye for now.

 

[Dennise]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

For everything these girls have been through... IMO they look amazing.....

 

[Jaga]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Tassie Tassie ,, I was just gonna go ta bed then I seen this hey bud these girlls are doing great they are only preflowering ,, I am the same I always think they dont look like the could but they still have a way to go ,, and just in case you are still worried you can try L.A,s bud building tech that works rest easy they will be fine

 

[skunnymonster]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Your girls look great bro, there's no need to worry

 

[Lady Bud]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

C.U.N.T. = can't understand normal thinking... My fella's x wife fits that description too LB....

I love that describtion, never heard it before. I chose it for her because to me it was the worst word ever and she I x the worst person ever. Your description fits her too

 

[Lady Bud]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Tassie my man......the girls have recovered beautifully
Question for ya homie as the daughter of a PTSD father and wife of a PTSD man I know the importance of avoiding triggers but also pushing boundaries. ............so that said would you prefer for me to talk to you as the southern lady I was raised to be, the family disappointment I normally am or the in between public woman I am also? I don't care either way I just want you to feel comfortable. I have such a large variety of friends I have to adjust my speech for their comfort so no worries.

 

[Shawnee]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Lady Bud,

Sponsor a class on your journal and I would come out of love and respect to learn so I know how to act when I unconsciously trigger reactions in my friends and then not know how to act or proceed to make them feel better....this is all new to me and I am really trying to understand it from their perspective.....in a perfect world, of course.....

I like how you are reaching out to Tassie, tho. to you....

 

[TassieDevil]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

For everything these girls have been through... IMO they look amazing.....

Tassie Tassie ,, I was just gonna go ta bed then I seen this hey bud these girlls are doing great they are only preflowering ,, I am the same I always think they dont look like the could but they still have a way to go ,, and just in case you are still worried you can try L.A,s bud building tech that works rest easy they will be fine

Your girls look great bro, there's no need to worry

Ok thanks guys...must be the small bud insecurity thign coming out again

Yes Guru Jai...I'll go and have a look around his library for a read

I love that describtion, never heard it before. I chose it for her because to me it was the worst word ever and she I x the worst person ever. Your description fits her too

my ex. cant understand normal thinking and I have just been out for a day with the kiddies...was good, but...oh damn, I went back to getting angry at the end of it...my Daddy isn't good enough meter kept on being added to all day...and by lunch when the everyone was being picky with food, despite me providing and them eating $20 worth of fresh local fruit...I'd had it..and my daughter copped my I've had enough, make your choice or go without tone....damn my father.....he'd count....5, 4, 3, 2, 1...if I hadn't made a choice, or a choice that met with his approval...I'd miss out...5 seconds to decide...training for future quick responses....damn I got a raw deal a lot of the time....I ended up with no...I'm not chosing...I don't want it. That's where I ended up. Was shit loads easier, and pissed him off.

Sorry my beautiful little lady, I'm glad you forgave me with nice cuddles on the lounge before you left.

Tassie my man......the girls have recovered beautifully
Question for ya homie as the daughter of a PTSD father and wife of a PTSD man I know the importance of avoiding triggers but also pushing boundaries. ............so that said would you prefer for me to talk to you as the southern lady I was raised to be, the family disappointment I normally am or the in between public woman I am also? I don't care either way I just want you to feel comfortable. I have such a large variety of friends I have to adjust my speech for their comfort so no worries.

Hey LB. Ok thanks for the vote of confidence with the girls. Umm, just be you. I got no problem with the LB i've met so far. Triggers oh well, look me and shawnee, me and cajun, me and trichomes, me and my daughter...she gives me the silent treatment like Lisa, when I've said something that upsets her, it's my fault, always, that's the truth...but the silence hits me in seconds....well nanoseconds...I count time in very small increments coz the ptsd mind moves very quickly......anyway me and just about anybody I meet, for whatever reason. I can't say well, could list the triggers, but, they are what they are.

I just re-read that....silence....leaving me out or alone...that is the biggest trigger with PTSD...you know that...just include me is all, even when I'm being a fuckhead

If you can give me a moment, and accept that sometimes when triggered, theres a whole bunch of shit, most of it not true comes outta me, then in a moment or so I get the opportunity to have a look at myself, so I'm never shy of the trigger...always shy of the effect on others is all...if you can take the momentary lapse, I can take the trigger...It's learning is all, hugs

Lady Bud,

Sponsor a class on your journal and I would come out of love and respect to learn so I know how to act when I unconsciously trigger reactions in my friends and then not know how to act or proceed to make them feel better....this is all new to me and I am really trying to understand it from their perspective.....in a perfect world, of course.....

I like how you are reaching out to Tassie, tho. to you....

You can trigger anyone Shawnee...doesn't matter whether they're mentally ill like me or not...

You just need to know what they like and where their ego rests....you can grab ego with praise or blame...makes no difference...then they act like a bull being led by a ring through the nose.....oops, sorry...how to grab and break a trainee handbook coming out....oops!

Listen to the crap, understand they don't know what's going on usually. Wait for the reuptake of adrenaline, which in PTSD patients is usually too much, then the emotional downfall, and hey presto you have a 6'2" man crying like a baby and asking what the hell just happened...oor to I'm told...

Oh look it's usually drilling down.

start with easy stuff...what's happening inside or what's happening physically...I'm full of adrenaline...I'm angry...my hands are shaking...my hearts pounding...why what just caused that.......you said, they did....and then I feel angry because.....or they don't know...then just sit and wait. It's an ebb and flow of adrenaline that's the damaging or destructive bit...it causes the most dramatic change in mood and response, and therefore you have to wait until that has normalised before you generally can get a lot of sense from the person...or could easily understand maybe.

My take anyways.

 

[Shawnee]

Re: TassieDevil's - Indoor - DIY - Bag Seed - What The Fluxing Learning Curve - Stage

Aw, Tassie, thanks for the shout out and mini class....You are definitely my teacher because you write so eloquently and so beautifully describe what it is like to be you...I have told you numerous times that I should be your editor for your book releases....Lady Bud needs to come in as well, she has much to teach...and I love her style....priceless, wouldn't you agree.....