John's Wicked Bloom Room: Powered By Budget LED

[John Wick]

Damn, John- sorry that whatever it is hit you so hard- Don't worry about not being around here right now, we just need you to take care of yourself and get well !

Can't think of a "sick" joke right now....will a stupid one do?


I was driving down a country road the other day,and drove past a farmhouse...well, in the front yard of that farmhouse was a pig, and that pig had a wooden leg!

I just had to hear the story behind that, so I turned around, pulled into the driveway,and went to the door to talk to the farmer about that pig.

The farmer came to the door and said "can I help you?"

I explained to him that I'd noticed his pig, and would really like to hear the story of how it got that wooden leg....

He said, "Well,that is a very special pig...about 2 months ago, the house caught fire in the middle of the night. That pig saw the fire, broke down the front door,ran in and woke up me and the missus, then he ran into the baby's room, grabbed the baby in his mouth, and carried her to safety....
Yes sir, that pig saved my whole family that night, we owe our lives to that pig!

I said that that was a great story,and it was too bad the pig lost a leg in that fire.

The farmer said "oh no,he survived the fire just fine-not a scratch on him."

I said that was amazing...but if he didn't lose his leg in the fire,what happened to him?

Well,the farmer said, "Like I told you before, that is a very special pig.....


and you just don't eat a pig like that all at once...."

Good one,.

 

[John Wick]

how do you screw a room full of old ladies? .....yell bingo.

Thanks HP.

 

[John Wick]

Not a joke but a true story:

It's been close to 20 years ago now but I was driving on the interstate and came to an interchange. While on the on/off ramp I passed a car pulled off on the side of the road. Squatted down beside the car appeared to be a man with his pants pulled down. Yes, he appeared to be taking a dump. Certainly caught my attention but I didn't dwell on it or think much about it other than "WTF?!" Fast-forward a couple of years and during a slow time my co-workers and I are sitting around telling stories. One of the guys tells a story about driving that same stretch of road about that time doing that thing. He looked shocked when I said, "OMG! That was you?!". Apparently he was hit with sudden and uncontrollable diarrhea while driving. Not sure if that was related to his diabetes or the medication for it but a few months later he didn't show for work so we went to check on him. Found him in the floor in a diabetic coma brought on partially by cellulitis. He lived, thankfully. Wow. That turned serious. lol! Can you imagine having to pull off the side of the road and just let it all hang out like that? Poor guy. Sometimes a man has to do what he has to doodoo.

Emergency pooping happens.
Good story, Al. Thanks.

 

[John Wick]

No, day 30 after flip. The two girls seem to be doing fine a making "cola" babies.
Today's brew was Great White, Cal-mag and Maple Syrup.
Here ya go, please take a look.

 

[John Wick]

If people make you sick...
Maybe you should cook them longer...

 

[John Wick]

I’m so sick and tired of my friends who can not handle their alcohol.
Last night they dropped me 3 times while carrying me to the car.

 

[John Wick]

Someone donates one kidney and is hailed as a hero.
I donate five, and get arrested?

 

[HugePeckerhead]

what does the syrup do? I've heard of people adding it. But i never asked why.

 

[Backlipslide]

Can you imagine having to pull off the side of the road and just let it all hang out like that?

I’ve actually been in that situation before... lol when you gotta go, it’s much better then crapping my pants!!

I met this guy about 8 years ago. He was telling me this time he was working on the rigs, and he says, this one time he had to poo really bad, all there was, was a small porta potty, and it was being used, so he went to the hill just behind the porta potty, and let her buck. He had coveralls on with other clothes as it was really cold, and he though he pulled his coveralls out of the way, instead he took a dumpright in his coveralls, didn’t realize it, wiped with some napkins he had. Then stood up, put his coveralls back on, and felt everything squish within his coveralls.. damn! What a shitty predicament he was in!

He said he walked from that spot to the truck, stripped down, put the clothes in the back of his truck, and left. He said he was too embarrassed to go back, and that’s why he was doing what he was doing where I met him! Lol

 

[Preston9mm]

I’ve actually been in that situation before... lol when you gotta go, it’s much better then crapping my pants!!

I met this guy about 8 years ago. He was telling me this time he was working on the rigs, and he says, this one time he had to poo really bad, all there was, was a small porta potty, and it was being used, so he went to the hill just behind the porta potty, and let her buck. He had coveralls on with other clothes as it was really cold, and he though he pulled his coveralls out of the way, instead he took a dumpright in his coveralls, didn’t realize it, wiped with some napkins he had. Then stood up, put his coveralls back on, and felt everything squish within his coveralls.. damn! What a shitty predicament he was in!

He said he walked from that spot to the truck, stripped down, put the clothes in the back of his truck, and left. He said he was too embarrassed to go back, and that’s why he was doing what he was doing where I met him! Lol

Sounds pretty similar to an incident I had the first time I used a Japanese toilet.... in my Dress White Navy uniform. LoL....

After a night of heavy drinking.

 

[Backlipslide]

Sounds pretty similar to an incident I had the first time I used a Japanese toilet.... in my Dress White Navy uniform. LoL....

After a night of heavy drinking.

Fuck that suuuuux bro!! All white uniform! Great story but shitty predicament

 

[Preston9mm]

Fuck that suuuuux bro!! All white uniform! Great story but shitty predicament

It was made even better by the fact I was standing duty that day on the pier as the Security supervisor. I had to call a junior sailor over the walkie to go up to my locker on the ship to get my spare set of pants.

 

[Preston9mm]

For those who haven't had the pleasure...

Here's what a Asian style toilet looks like.

 

[Backlipslide]

It was made even better by the fact I was standing duty that day on the pier as the Security supervisor. I had to call a junior sailor over the walkie to go up to my locker on the ship to get my spare set of pants.

This story is getting better and better!!

Thank you for your service sir!!

 

[Gazoo]

For those who haven't had the pleasure...

Here's what a Asian style toilet looks like.

I can see the Confusion, especially after drinking all night

 

[John Wick]

For those who haven't had the pleasure...

Here's what a Asian style toilet looks like.

I guess they don't read the morning News while going.
Looks like it would really hurt for bad knees too.
How does that thing work out if your really drunk?

 

[John Wick]

Great laughs folks !
Lovely the J tolite and the story that when with it.
"Back", pooping on "bibs" never works.
You're supposed to wrap them all forward before you do the deed.

Alrighty then, meal of the day was worms with bat poop, Cal-mag and maple syrup.

@Gazoo, what ya think of my lady bug house?
Thank you for the recommendation.

You may not see it but there's a bunch of extra air holes in the top.

 

[John Wick]

 

[John Wick]

You never really appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone.

Toilet paper is a good example.

 

[John Wick]

What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea?


Salad Shooter.