FeloniousPunk
Well-Known Member
Sunshine On A Brainy Day — PS Dwarf Star Lights Up My Life
ginganinja30
Well-Known Member
A bit late...
Re: Sunshine On A Brainy Day — PS Dwarf Star Lights Up My Life
What's Update — 100% Organic Garden & Brain Rehab — Aug 11, 2017
Welcome to my Beautiful Healing Brain Journal!
Brain/Grow Rehabilitation Behaviour:
I was triggered by my husbands' employment contract not being renewed. He works so damn hard, and we just can't get a break. The guilt of being a burden creeps under my skin. Then I cried till I couldn't cry anymore.
I am starting to come out of my fog but I feel I have regressed slightly, or not feeling the full benefits of my progress as I was before this episode. I got triggered, not gonna lie, that's what PTSD does to you, that's why I'm growing because it's still a hurdle I have to jump over.
Finally, as I sit cross-legged in bed, I seek the words to tell you about what happens when I get triggered which turns into a really bad migraine. Right now, I feel like it's gonna take time to find my sparkle. I had so much I wanted to talk about but life happened and reminded me how tender moments can be, as if they weren't tender enough for me.
Not all is blue. A defining moment: This is a picture of medicine I've grown myself (with help from my 420 friends) with a Neuro Degenerative Disease. I have been working to get to this point since Mar 2016.
I am also adding another aspect to the journal called "Excerpt from book" because I want to encourage myself to write every week. You know what's kinda crazy, I've written 5 pages since the idea came up. And I've been copying and pasting important parts of my journal into the book. Altogether I'm at 19 pages of thoughts and poetry.
This week, as much as I wanted to crawl away in a hole and delegate my living tasks to someone else, I wrote some poetry instead. I may not be able to speak well, but I can't stop the glow from this literary flow.
Invisible Cage
Detached from my brain, kinda sounds insane. But it's simply a deed to rewire my needs.
Call the electrician, diffuse this war of attrition. Heavy artillery against the capillary, must fight back with Cannabis military.
Falling down the hole, devastation left out in the cold. Past trauma was triggered, is what we had figured.
Scanning dark shadows overlooking green meadows. Can't leave the house, wrapped up in a blanket like an injured mouse.
If I was a bird, would my distress call be heard. Put me in a box to heal, with love you conceal, until I can eat my... first... meal.
Protect me from the past and others distain, fight my triggers with a knightly sword in the rain.
Simple rhymes for tougher times, can't think beyond the doctors ' crimes.
Few words escape my imprisoned thoughts. A vicious man-hunt with snarling dogs.
PTSD, a trauma that can happen to you or me. Hard to see what's reality. Cautiously, scanning for a precious memory, then it turns into FTD, devastating to any family.
Disassociation from objects close to my heart. Severed attachment, when did that start.
Like heavy curtains closing the show. Visibility none, when I drive through wet snow. Beaming the light through the ocean fog, a speeding car runs over my pet frog. All, are ways, to describe my inner dialogue.
It took a magician to escape the cage, if it were invisible, would he be in a rage? Cause brain disease, is like losing the keys, to that invisible cage, to avoid that rage. Must diagnose in that early stage. Or we become vegetative, lose dignity with age.
If you're going to put me in a box. Drop some seeds, I'll grow opportunity knocks.
Low stress training, caressing the stalks. Doubling my yield, financially rocks.
Don't count me out of the boxing ring. I'll go 9 rounds of cultivating. Buds taller than the hair on Don King, I must still be dreaming. Knockout my opponent with THC, wear a heavyweight belt smoking my destiny.
The healed bird is singing to me, a vision of what I can be.
All I have to do is plant a seed
and free my mind by growing weed.
Love G2HM
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What am I grateful for? "to have grown my first batch of buds for oil"
Quote of the week: "Harvest is still still still HERE!"
Excerpt from book: "Someone please light the spark in me? Don't give up on me and I won't give up on you; as streams and waterfalls of heart-tugging tears stain my lifeless skin, a zombie complexion and paranoia begins. I must hide before death finds me."
My humble garden of positive change awaits you...
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1. Type: CB Dream CLONES #1 - 4 (Mother born Oct 2, 2016) — DONE!
Week: 20 weeks
Days: 132/ 60 days flower (12/12 started June 5, 2017)
Temp: 24-30 Degrees Celsius
RH: 55 - 65%
Strain: Indica
Technique: Clones, topped and LST
Comments:
* CBDream Clone #1-4 > 3 Gallon, Self-watering, LST & Topped
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87 grams = 3.06 oz
+
58 grams = 2.04 Ounces
SPRING — SUMMER HARVEST WEIGHT Grand Total = 145 grams = 5. 10 Ounces!
225$ per oz = 1125$ SAVINGS and paid for my Dwarf Star in the first grow.
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3. Type: Kushie Kush CLONES ( Mother Born March 4, 2017)
Week: 6
Days: Last week's total was wrong, 45 is the proper total number of days so far.
(Clones cut June 8 — 22nd = 13 days to reroot.)
Temp: 24
RH: 44 - 50%
Strain: Indica
Technique: Cloning, 1 Top & LST
Comments:
* Just feeding all clones water for now, as I am getting ready to transplant #1 & 3 very soon.
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*It's been one heck-ov-a week. Although this journal has been difficult to write, it also gives me a place to exist and recover. This past week I have noticeable set-backs with cognition, but I nailed my harvest goals enough to start making my special life-giving oil. Will never give up...love G2HM
*Hard NOT to post this pic again,
*Thank you for reading and giving feedback.
*Sending positive vibes out to all the Firefighters!
....
...
- Thread starter
- #703
Thank you Toasty, I butter improve myself and get outta this jam. I donut want to fail as that would be crueller.
.
️
Tony Urban
Well-Known Member
Great update, and a solid flurry of puns there lol
Suntana
Well-Known Member
Beautiful update, I'm hoping to see the oil making process .it will be the first for us both .
Man this is fun, I'm getting so excited to kick MS in the ass! Shits about to hit the fan .
Oh, and .to all diseases
Take care G2HM, you got this .
Man this is fun, I'm getting so excited to kick MS in the ass! Shits about to hit the fan .
Oh, and .to all diseases
Take care G2HM, you got this .
Phenoman
Well-Known Member
Just happened upon this, great job!! Very inspiring.
You have the same train of thought as we do, word play intended
Savings in medicine pay for equipment...
At least it started that way... I'm struggling a bit in the garden but still can't imagine giving up or not doing this in the future.
Cheers and congrats albiet late
You have the same train of thought as we do, word play intended
Savings in medicine pay for equipment...
At least it started that way... I'm struggling a bit in the garden but still can't imagine giving up or not doing this in the future.
Cheers and congrats albiet late
FeloniousPunk
Well-Known Member
You are too punny!!!!!!! 
Peace.
Peace.
Thank you Toasty, I butter improve myself and get outta this jam. I donut want to fail as that would be crueller.
.
walleye
Well-Known Member
This is what I like about 420 mag, some sites don't allow poetry or expression. That's like wine without cheese! No reason to contain what cannabis does for many, this being a cannabis forum. Life is poetry in motion. Allow time to bruise the herb and crush the grape. No hurry, no worry, just a breeze of special love blowing about here with ups and downs and all arounds. Makes me dizzy and concerned without fear !! Love you all PS I've seen that middle finger up before...oh yea, what my wife sometimes calls her half of our victory/peace sign ! Takes 2 to make peace
KingstonRabbi
Well-Known Member
Inspiring as ever!
You are not a burden to anyone. Repeat. You are not a burden to anyone. You are a blessing to us and to your husband. You know that. Add this message to the tapes that run in your head when you get triggered. As for set backs, they're temporary. We've both had a few in the past year+ and yet looking back I see solid permanent progress that isn't done yet.
Amen to that beautiful picture!
Like I said above, you are not a burden, set backs are temporary because you never give up.
You are not a burden to anyone. Repeat. You are not a burden to anyone. You are a blessing to us and to your husband. You know that. Add this message to the tapes that run in your head when you get triggered. As for set backs, they're temporary. We've both had a few in the past year+ and yet looking back I see solid permanent progress that isn't done yet.
Not all is blue. A defining moment: This is a picture of medicine I’ve grown myself (with help from my 420 friends) with a Neuro Degenerative Disease. I have been working to get to this point since Mar 2016.
Amen to that beautiful picture!
Ordinarily pics of topless women turn me on but that's just a little too much!
Like I said above, you are not a burden, set backs are temporary because you never give up.
*Sending positive vibes out to all the Firefighters!
Ditto on positive vibes. It's been bad enough for me downwind. I can only imagine what it's like for you up there. Winds finally returned yesterday and cleared most the smoke out. Hope you get relief soon.
Repeat. Inspiring as ever!
Dropping some love and good vibes for you and yours. 
- Thread starter
- #711
*I know I already replied to this but it's a good message to reread. thank you again Toasty.
*
*great to have you by my friend!
Beautiful update, I'm hoping to see the oil making process .it will be the first for us both .
Man this is fun, I'm getting so excited to kick MS in the ass! Shits about to hit the fan .
Oh, and .to all diseases
Take care G2HM, you got this .
*I looooved that middle finger. I do that a lot, probably more than I should...lol. Always so great to hear from you, Big hugs big nugs!
You are too punny!!!!!!!
Peace.
*It's a side effect of this brain stuff. I speak in rhymes all the times...
*THank you walleye, you must be a fisherman. A little bit of poetry can help plants grow a long way. It's a secret nutrient
@KRabbit
You are not a burden to anyone. Repeat. You are not a burden to anyone. You are a blessing to us and to your husband. You know that. Add this message to the tapes that run in your head when you get triggered. As for set backs, they're temporary. We've both had a few in the past year+ and yet looking back I see solid permanent progress that isn't done yet.
*You're right, in every way of the word, yes.
Amen to that beautiful picture!
*gonna do my oil today I think, I will take pics too.
Ordinarily pics of topless women turn me on but that's just a little too much!
*HAHAHAHAHAHA okay, now you got my smiling going. I really laughed on this one, been a while, thank you. Good thing I have a bunch of jokers around me. I love it KR. hugs
Like I said above, you are not a burden, set backs are temporary because you never give up.
*I will reread this as much as possible.
Ditto on positive vibes. It's been bad enough for me downwind. I can only imagine what it's like for you up there. Winds finally returned yesterday and cleared most the smoke out. Hope you get relief soon.
*It's been a labourous going out in the shhhmoke, just return with headaches. It turns into an orange hue sometimes.
Repeat. Inspiring as ever!
*BIG HUGS KR, I could use some brainpower today.
Dropping some love and good vibes for you and yours.
*I think you may have dropped more than love, HARVEST REPS!!! You are the most Am4zin! Big hugs.
- Thread starter
- #712
I'm doing oil today!!!!!!!!
Cant wait to see what you think of it.
As always your strength and rhythmic words of passion....
Has a truly inspiring effect on those of us who follow your journal.
I hope your path to healing is smoother and Free of life's obstacles.
. . . . beautiful update
. wish my notifications would work for subbed journals!!!
Has a truly inspiring effect on those of us who follow your journal.
I hope your path to healing is smoother and Free of life's obstacles.
. . . . beautiful update
. wish my notifications would work for subbed journals!!!
Dabby Duck
Well-Known Member
I love this journal so much so inspiring. Touches me every time I read. Sometimes when there is lots of activity on here I fight the urge to read. Then when I'm alone in the Grow I binge read it like a tv show that you can't wait for the next episode so you avoid until the season is done and then don't leave your pjs for a day.
Can't wait to see what you think of the oil. I prefer extracts and can't wait until they are mine.
Love happiness and clear skies. Hope the smoke clears away soon.
Can't wait to see what you think of the oil. I prefer extracts and can't wait until they are mine.
Love happiness and clear skies. Hope the smoke clears away soon.
- Thread starter
- #717
The OIL adventure begins.
1. First challenge, must set oven 110C and my oven only goes down to 170C. Please check your ovens and make sure they go as low. Since mine doesn't I'm leaving the oven door open 20% and I know what it's supposed to look like when done. I am checking it every 5 mins since I have no temp control or thermastat. Something you should have if you don't have an oven that goes down to 110C.
Will check in again, with pics
1. First challenge, must set oven 110C and my oven only goes down to 170C. Please check your ovens and make sure they go as low. Since mine doesn't I'm leaving the oven door open 20% and I know what it's supposed to look like when done. I am checking it every 5 mins since I have no temp control or thermastat. Something you should have if you don't have an oven that goes down to 110C.
Will check in again, with pics
MagicJim
Creme de la Creme Photos: Sept 2016
Doesn't quite sound right. 170 C is 338 F. Your oven should be able to go as low as 200 F which is 93 C.
Yea what kind of weirdo oven do you have lady?! Lol
- Thread starter
- #720
Riiiight! It says on their website is why, to help prevent Salmonella! Wtf!
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